


The Curse of the Moon

by lyraonyx



Series: The Sunguard [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Art, Creature Fic, Elves, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Rape/Non-con, M/M, Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter), Minor Character Death, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Slow Burn, Threesome - M/M/M, Vampires, Werewolf Teddy Lupin, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:15:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 56,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24678286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyraonyx/pseuds/lyraonyx
Summary: When Severus accepts Harry, the couple thinks their difficulties are over, but a new conflict soon shows its ugly face. Before the sun sets on their first week together, Severus finds himself facing his worst nightmare and opposition too steep to overcome alone. With Xerides at their side and their friends at their back, the couple sets out on a race against the clock and the corrupt Ministry to save their family and break the purebloods' control of wizarding Britain, once and for all.*added a warning for MCD. It does NOT apply to the main trio. I would classify it as minor character death, but others have said it should be tagged as major, so here we are. This seriesdoeshave a happy ending (eventually).*
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Harry Potter/Severus Snape/Original Male Character(s)
Series: The Sunguard [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1530506
Comments: 443
Kudos: 519
Collections: Harry Potter FFs





	1. No Quarter

**Author's Note:**

> So, part 2 is done enough to start posting! I don't think this will be updated quite as fast as Ashes, partly because my health is not good right now, and partly because I'm a bit overwhelmed, but I have it ready enough. Yay!
> 
> This book will be heavy on rape recovery discussions. Fair warning. 
> 
> Xerides will, eventually, be a part of the trio in this one. 
> 
> Harry's relationship with Severus is MUCH less contentious now. Severus loves him, so he isn't going to be cold to him.
> 
> Chapter number is a rough guess based on my first draft and may change. 
> 
> That's it for now. Enjoy!

# THE CURSE OF THE MOON

## PART II OF THE SUNGUARD

* * *

#  **Chapter 1**

##  _No Quarter_

Harry guided Severus into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, arm-in-arm and following in the wake of Auror Captain Goldman's golden-trimmed cloak. He kept his head down in hopes of attracting less attention from the gawking passers-by, but it couldn't last. He had shown his hand in Godric's Hollow, and now he had to live with the consequences. 

In retrospect, it had been foolish in the extreme to set the entire cemetery ablaze—and that with his glamours failing—but Harry hadn't been rational at the time. No, he hadn't been able to think beyond the need for justice. 

Well, he had found some now, whether he wanted it or not. 

He folded his wing around Severus' back—as Hermione hadn't restored his glamours this time and Harry's magic didn't work on his mate, the nervous man would still feel his touch—and prayed that he could at least find a way to keep his mate safe. The rumours hadn't yet gone so far as to provide credible evidence of their romantic leanings, but once the truth of Harry's race got out, the intelligent among Britain's wizarding folk would start to wonder, and few of them would wish the new couple well.

There was nothing for it. For Severus' sake, they would have to take greater precautions in public. And, speaking of….

Harry let his hand fall from Severus' arm. Severus gave him a questioning look, and Harry nocked his head towards the gawkers.

"Not safe for you."

Severus would understand his implied meaning. Anything that threatened Severus also threatened Harry. 

Severus gave a terse nod. Harry might have worried he had offended the man if he hadn't felt Severus' fingers brushing his feathers. No, Severus understood. He was simply afraid, not that Harry blamed him. By gods, the idea of reliving the nightmare that had all but broken them both had Harry shaking all over. Fuck. He wasn't sure he had the strength for this.

No. He had to find the courage, somehow. Severus couldn't face this alone.

As they passed the Prophet stand, Severus paused to examine the headlines. Harry gave it a wide berth.

"Did they out me _already_?"

Severus shook his head. "They are probably still writing the story. It was only a follow-up on Madam Zabini's release from your detention centre."

Harry huffed. "She never should have been there at all. She never committed a crime." 

Severus nodded, expression dark. "You are, of course, correct, but…." He glanced back at Fawley, who was listening in obvious interest, and his voice echoed in Harry's mind rather than his ears. _[But, it seems as though the pureblood sector's response to finding a good portion of their authority threatened by the evil within their ranks is to excise everyone and everything associated with the death eaters and pretend as though that leaves the rest of them sparkling clean.]_ He growled under his breath, _[Or, at least those death eaters who were caught.]_

Harry suppressed a bitter snort and whispered back, "They're more delusional than Fudge."

_[And a far greater threat.]_

"Yeah. I—"

"This way, gentlemen." At the captain's gentle prodding, Harry realised the Ministry wasn't the place for this conversation and silenced his thoughts.

Who knew who might be listening?

Captain Goldman led them to an interrogation room, little more than a table and four chairs under a magical orb lamp. Goldman conjured a fifth chair and motioned for Severus and Harry to sit at the table. 

"Please wait here a moment, Professor, Master Potter. I need to retrieve two other aurors per the blood status equality act, as well as the supplies to test and remove the forced vow on Professor Snape. I will be back shortly." He nodded to a burly blond auror who had helped escort them. "Parker, I'm leaving you in charge until I return."

Parker inclined his head. "Yes, sir." He took position beside the door and shut it behind his colleagues. "Not to worry, sirs. The professor hasn't done anything to fret over, and sunguards are protected under the law. You two will be in and out in a bit."

Harry gave him a wan smile. "I'm afraid this won't be so simple. Once Severus' vows are cleared up, we're going to have a whole hell of a lot of charges to press, not that it'll do any good."

Parker blinked. "Charges? Don't tell me the details, okay? I'm not going to be allowed in here as Kevin and I are both half-bloods. He'll want control so he can protect you from bias from the other two sectors. I don't have his authority. That said, why won't it do any good?"

"All of the criminals are already dead," said Harry with a shrug. "All it would do, at best, is reveal that people the public thinks of as heroes were really monsters, and it might help remove some of the stigma against Severus, but it's not like we can put a portrait in Azkaban."

Parker frowned. "Not Azkaban, no, but there _is_ legal recourse available against portraits, providing they're found guilty, of course."

"Is there?" Severus rubbed his chin. "That is all the more reason to stay the course then. The portrait in question has… a position of high influence."

"In that case, I'm going to recommend you go ahead and press charges once this magical vow problem is cleared up, for everyone's sake."

"Yes, I think you are right."

Harry squeezed Severus' hand. "I'm here, okay? Even if we can't remove the vow and I have to tell them myself, I'm here."

Severus nodded, his eyes soft with relief. "I am glad."

"Yeah. So am I." 

Harry held his mate's hand under the table and prepared himself for a long, weary night.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Goldman had finished removing the forced vow. Even with Fawkes' reassurance, Severus still hesitated to speak, fearful one mistake would kill his mate, but his instincts soothed his fears right away. The spell truly had set him free. He felt it, a lightness and relief where cold chains had existed before.

"It is truly broken," he murmured.

Harry's fingers clenched around Severus' hand. "You're sure?"

"Yes."

Harry shuddered. "Gods, I hope you're right."

Goldman gave them a wan smile. "I've had to perform this spell far too often for my liking. Criminals _do_ so like to force their victims into unbreakable vows. Aurors need to know how to remove vows taken under duress, or we'd never catch the bad guys."

Severus nodded. "Understandable, but perhaps you should inform the public of the possibility. Many people do not have the loopholes that my vow left and no option to speak without your spells. More would come forward if they knew it was a possibility."

Goldman gave a sigh of disgust. "Trust me, I've tried, but the legislation keeps getting tossed out. The argument is that telling the public means we lose an advantage against the criminals, but…."

Harry scowled. "But really it's bias to protect the arseholes lining the Ministry's pockets."

Goldman gave a weary shrug. The man couldn't confirm such a statement without risking his position, of course, but Severus and Harry knew the truth. 

Auror Fawley, the portly, entitled prig who had been at the graveyard earlier and the only pureblood auror available in the department at such a late hour, scowled at them all and grumbled something unintelligible under his breath. 

Harry gave the man an unimpressed look and shook his head. "Merlin, we still have such a long way to go. Severus, are you sure you want to do this?"

Severus nodded. "With your support, I believe it will be all right. You certainly managed to wrangle the Wizengamot into shape at the trials."

"Yeah, but… I don't know. I'm worried. Is your…?" Harry tapped his temple. "Getting anything?"

Perhaps not the most articulate question, but Severus understood it as a request to know if his intuition had forewarned him of trouble.

He shook his head. "I think we shall be fine, though I cannot say so without a doubt. You and I both understand the risks and upheaval likely to follow on the heels of my story, but I believe, in the end, it will be worth it. Will you stand with me, Harry, whatever fate awaits us with the dawn?"

Harry sighed and squeezed Severus' hand. "Yeah. Every time."

"Thank you."

"It's where I want to be anyway." Harry took a deep breath and steeled his posture. "Are we ready then?"

"Almost." Severus fixed Goldman and the other auror blood-class representatives with a stern look. "The nature of what I will be revealing here will leave me in desperate need of support. Harry is in a position to offer it, but if any of you should reveal that fact to anyone outside this room, we shall both be in grave danger. Before we say a word, I want a vow from all of you that you will never reveal the nature of my relationship to Harry to anyone whatsoever, in any way, shape, or form. Without said vow, we shall both simply pay whatever damages are necessary for the cemetery and monument and leave this instant."

Harry nodded firmly. "I can't say anything unless you do. My life would be at stake."

Fawley scowled and crossed his arms. "I will do no such thing. It's you who have broken the law, not the other way around."

Goldman lifted his wand. "Then, for Mister Potter and Master Snape's safety, you'll be _Obliviated_ of the night's events and removed from the case. Please take position for routine evidence removal, Grant."

Fawley sputtered. "B-but that's preposterous!"

"It isn't. They have good reason to be concerned. Now, are you going to take the vow or the spell?"

"I…." Fawley huffed. "Oh, very well. I'll take the vow."

Goldman nodded, but didn't put his wand away. He turned to the other auror present, a female with protuberant grey eyes and a muggleborn known as Elena Dawson. 

"And you, Elena? Vow or evidence removal?"

She frowned and spoke in a high-pitched, girlish voice that left Severus with an eerie sense of unpleasant familiarity. "Oh. Well, not that I see what bearing it has on anything, but I'll take a vow."

"Good." Goldman wrote a test vow down and handed the slip of parchment to Severus. "Will that be strong enough?"

Severus examined it carefully and thought through all plausible scenarios. Instinct gave him a nudge, and he changed a few words, then handed it back to Goldman. 

"Ah, good thinking, Professor. That should close all the loopholes nicely while still allowing us to do our jobs." He immediately took the vow himself, with Fawkes acting as binder. The other two followed suit, however grudgingly in Fawley's case, and with that done, they could finally begin.

"I… will ask you to leave your preconceptions at the door," Severus said in a low, uncertain voice. "What I have to say will reveal several supposed heroes of the light for the twisted monsters they truly were, and I have been hurt for daring to speak the truth before."

"No one here will hurt you, Master Snape." Goldman sent the other aurors a sharp look of warning. "Will we?"

"No, sir," the other aurors repeated, though Fawley grumbled about it.

Severus hesitated. "I… are you certain we will be safe, Captain?"

Harry tucked Severus' hair behind his ears and held his face. "Hey. You're not facing it alone this time, Severus. I won't let anyone hurt you." Severus caught Harry's fingers and settled their joined hands on his thigh. Fawley sneered at the gesture, but Severus sent him such a potent glare of cold contempt, he squirmed and looked away.

"Right," said Goldman. "Now, we need to begin our interrogation, but we'll handle this in a professional manner. Harry, we'll start with you. What brought you to—"

Fawley interrupted. "A little Veritaserum first, if you don't mind?"

Goldman frowned. "I don't see any reason why that's necessary. No one was harmed, and as I'm speaking to a _sunguard_ , I think we can all agree intentional dishonesty is unlikely."

"Ah, but we aren't _all_ sunguards here, are we?" The comment came from Dawson, the Muggleborn auror. "Given how the Professor made his former living, don't you think a little… precaution is wise, Captain?"

"Severus is a good man," Harry said, voice sharp. "And concerning the issue you're doing a piss-poor job of skirting around, he did more to end the war than any of us, myself included."

"Yes," said Fawley with a derisive snort, "I definitely think we'll need that Veritaserum."

"Calm yourself, Harry." Severus eased Harry back into his chair. "Working yourself into a frenzy will do no one any good." He fixed Dawson with a hard look. "And neither will truth serum. As Captain Goldman pointed out, Harry is a sunguard and inherently honest. And I am a master mind mage and well-trained to resist any number of poisons and dangerous substances, Veritaserum chief among them. What good is a spy who cannot keep his secrets?"

Fawley scowled. "You should rot in Azkaban, foul traitor."

"To whom, exactly?" Harry's voice was sheer ice. "Missing your cushy salary and the power to put your… _lesser_ colleagues in their place, are you?"

Fawley paled. "I didn't say that! He's—"

"A ruddy hero, and I'll hear nothing less from any of you." Harry gave them a sweet smile that hid waves of fierce anger. "Unless, of course, you'd like me to accuse you of operating under bias while on the job? I hear that comes with a hefty fine and a cosy little suspension for aurors these days. You could catch up on the gossip rags that feed your misinformed prejudice, I'm sure."

Goldman's lip twitched in suppressed mirth. Dawson raised an eyebrow. Fawley went the colour of putty and turned away. Severus wanted to grin for the first time in years, and cry, too. Gods, it was so strange and wonderful to have an ally willing to protect him.

_'Well said, Harry.'_

He rubbed his thumb discreetly along Harry's palm and got a shy smile for it. His chest felt light at the honest warmth in Harry's eyes.

Yes. This beautiful man was his future, and he could face putting the darkness of his past to rest as long as Harry stayed by his side.

Harry squeezed Severus' hand and turned back to the aurors. "Auror Goldman, I would like you to perform the interrogation, please. And as far as Severus' honesty, Veritaserum won't work, no, but I've seen his memories of the events that caused our problems tonight and can vouch for the fact that they were absolutely unaltered and accurate, as well as… well, frankly, it was appalling, what happened to him and how little was done to see justice served."

Harry shuddered and clutched Severus' hand tighter. "You're really sure you want to go through with this, Severus?"

Severus nodded grimly. "It is past time."

"All right. Do you think it will help if I hold your hand like this, or…?"

"It is a help at the moment. If that changes during the time we must review my evidence, please do not infer a rejection from it. I… you already know that touch may be too painful for me."

Goldman inhaled sharply. "Merlin."

Harry rubbed his thumb over Severus' knuckles. "I remember. Just tell me or pull away if you need space."

Severus relaxed a fraction. "Thank you."

"It's nothing to thank me for. It's just being a decent person."

"Yes, well, I find I have so little experience of common decency as to render it quite _un_ common, indeed."

Harry squeezed Severus' hand. "Not anymore."

Severus lowered his head and clung to the warmth of Harry's touch and the clear love and loyalty in his words.

"No," he whispered. "Not anymore."

After a moment, Goldman summoned a phial of Veritaserum. "Harry, I know this is completely unnecessary, but do you mind taking this so there is no doubt of your honesty?"

Harry nodded tentatively. "As long as you give Severus permission to silence me should they ask questions they have no rights to. Some of the things we faced during the war shouldn't be made public knowledge, for everyone's sake."

"If it isn't pertinent to the investigation, I'll do it myself, but if I should be too slow, Master Snape may silence you."

Fawley scowled. "So long as that's _all_ he does."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Assuming I wanted to curse Harry, and I _obviously_ do not, do you truly believe a triple spy to be so foolish as to curse him during an auror investigation?"

Fawley huffed and muttered something under his breath.

"I don't trust him to question us fairly, sir," Harry said to Goldman. "Please don't let him."

Goldman eyed Fawley and nodded. "I think you're right to be concerned." He turned his back on Fawley's sputtering protests. "I will, under Rose's Law, assume control of the interrogation and protect you from unlawful or biased questioning."

"Is it not possible to simply bring in another auror?" Severus hugged his chest. "Kingsley Shacklebolt is a pureblood auror and a trusted acquaintance. Would you allow him to take Fawley's place?"

"Major Shacklebolt isn't on shift tonight—and most of the other purebloods tend to choose day shift—but if you would feel more comfortable, I can send him a patronus."

"Oh, yes, please," Harry said. "We trust King. And what Severus needs to talk about… we need people we can trust in here. Fawley is clearly biased against us, and I don't want Severus getting hurt."

Goldman stood. "I agree. Fawley, out."

Fawley spluttered. "But…."

"You have made your bias and prejudice clear. You're already going to be assigned desk work and a written reprimand for your behaviour tonight as is. Keep pushing, and you'll receive a suspension without pay as well."

Fawley puffed up and turned red. "You'll regret this, half-blood!"

Goldman's blue eyes flashed yellow. "Clear out your desk, Fawley. You are, as of now, officially suspended for a month without pay. Whether you return or not will be established pending an investigation into your bias and suitability for the corps."

For a moment, Fawley looked as though he might curse the captain on the spot, but at Goldman's steely glare, he gritted out, "Yes, sir," and stormed out.

Dawson watched him leave with an impassive expression. Severus couldn't get a read on her opinions of the confrontation one way or another, but she made him nervous. Still, he had no justifiable reason for his distrust—not one that he could use to also have her thrown out at any rate—so he had little choice but to accept her presence. At least she hadn't attacked him.

Yet.

"My apologies for that display, gentlemen," said Goldman. "I assure you, it _will_ be dealt with." The captain flicked his wand, and a silvery eagle formed in the air. "Please report to Major Shacklebolt. Inform him that Severus Snape and Harry Potter have just been taken in for questioning on what appears to be a serious matter, and they have requested his presence as their pureblood representative. We are in meeting room twelve-D. Go."

The eagle nuzzled his caster's cheek and flew away. A moment later, Kingsley's lynx bounded in.

_"Be there in ten."_

Goldman dismissed the lynx with a nod. "Right. We will just wait for the Major to arrive then. Are either of you thirsty? I can have some tea made."

"No offence, Captain," said Harry, "but neither of us trust drinks we haven't seen prepared ourselves, especially not in the Ministry."

Goldman nodded, his expression wry. "I should have considered that. Well then, simply rest here a few moments, and we'll begin as soon as Major Shacklebolt is present and sworn in."

"Thank you," Severus murmured.

Harry nodded and squeezed Severus' hand.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Kingsley stepped in, looking a bit dishevelled and highly concerned. "Harry? Severus? What in Merlin's name happened? The entire department is buzzing about a wildfire and destroyed monuments and sunguards, and I'm at a loss."

Harry let his glamours fade. "That would be my fault, King. Severus told me the truth of his past, and… I snapped. Severus was able to talk me down, but I'm afraid I left quite a mess in Godric's Hollow before he could."

Kingsley's mouth fell open. "You're… a sunguard."

Harry nodded, expression grim. "No use hiding it now. It'll be headline news by tomorrow morning. Or maybe evening, since it's already late. Either way, the whole world is going to know soon enough."

"That… explains a lot."

Severus snorted. "Indeed."

Kingsley sighed and sat beside Goldman. "Right. Well, let's hear it from the beginning, then."

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Dawson cleared her throat.

"Hem-hem."

Like nails on a chalkboard, the sound sent chills crawling over Severus' skin and set his teeth grinding. So that was what turned him off about her. _Gods_ , how he loathed Umbridge. 

Still, Dawson's unfortunate resemblance to the former high inquisitor was no cause to have her tossed out. Yet. He would just have to endure it, for now, but he would keep a close eye on her, too.

Damned if he would let that foul hag or any of her ilk come after Harry again.

Harry shuddered in reaction to the sound, no doubt as revolted as Severus. Severus rubbed his back and frowned to realise Harry was shaking.

No one had liked Umbridge, but this seemed too strong a reaction for simple hatred. He stroked his hand through Harry's hair, relieved when the man relaxed at his touch.

Goldman searched their expressions. "Are you two well?"

"Let's just say that sound brought back… unpleasant experiences for all of us," said Kingsley with a shudder. "We're all right."

Severus and Harry nodded at Goldman's worried look.

"Ah… very well, I suppose." With a frown, he turned to his colleague. "What did you want, Auror Dawson?"

She gave Goldman a prim smile that turned Severus' stomach. "I believe Veritaserum was requested earlier?"

Kingsley whipped his head around. "On a _sunguard_? Are you mad?"

Dawson's lips pursed. "Not mad, sir, simply cautious."

"But—"

Harry waved him off. "It's fine, King. I already agreed so long as you, Severus, and the captain are quick to silence me should she ask something she has no rights to."

Severus squeezed his hand. "I will protect you."

"Thanks, love."

Kingsley gasped. "Merlin. I've missed quite a bit, hmm?"

Harry chuckled. "Yeah, a little. Anyway, you can give me the potion, Captain, if it means there's no question about our evidence."

"Fair enough." Goldman took the phial from his pocket again. "For the record, you are consenting to the use of Veritaserum upon your person, Lord Potter?"

"Harry, please, and yes, but it's only two drops for a sunguard, sir, not three."

Goldman looked to Severus. "Master Snape, can you verify this is the correct dosage?"

Severus hesitated and turned to his mate. "Harry, what do I say here?"

"He cannot coach your answer," Dawson protested.

Harry shot her an annoyed look. "Oh, stow it. Severus isn't asking for coaching, he's asking _permission_." He crossed his arms over his chest. "The information he wants to reveal will need to be protected under another vow. I have an alternate identity—a legal one, before you stick your nose in again, Dawson—and revealing it, or the information involved with it, will, again, get me killed."

Dawson puffed up in irritation, but Kingsley shut her up with a glare. 

Goldman simply ignored her. "Will the same vow wording suffice, with alterations as to the specific information covered?"

Harry looked to Severus. 

"Yes, I believe that should do."

"Brilliant." Goldman altered the vow, asked Severus and Harry to approve it, and led off by taking it himself.

Kingsley followed, and even Dawson vowed to protect Harry's identity, though she acted much more disgruntled about it this time. Well, Harry _had_ irritated the bint. Still, he hoped she had no other reasons for her reluctance.

"Right. Then with that done, the reason I needed to ask Harry's permission to answer your question, Captain," said Severus, "is that Harry's alias is Solaris Grey. He's already made quite a name for himself as a potions master, and his work in healing is groundbreaking. He is also the only known authority on potions and the biology of sunguards, so, as to your questions about Veritaserum dosage, you must defer to his expertise, not mine."

Severus rubbed his chin in thought. "That said, considering what I know of the subject… yes, I believe he is correct. Given his blood makeup and natural honesty, I think a full dose will make him quite ill. Too much so to focus on your interrogation, I'm afraid." Severus gave Harry a warm look. "Well done."

Harry smiled hesitantly and blushed crimson. "Thanks. I… it feels good to hear you put so much faith in me."

"Well deserved, but we should move on soon, or we shall be here all night. Captain Goldman, if I may, I would like to record Harry's blood serenium levels after each drop to avoid an accidental overdose."

"I want to know for my own research, too," said Harry.

"Please do, Master Snape," said Goldman. "What level are we shooting for?"

"In humans, 0.08 micrograms per litre. With Harry, I think it is best to err on the side of caution and aim for 0.05."

"That sounds reasonable to me, considering that dosing a sunguard at all is ridiculous."

Severus snorted. "Agreed, but we shall do it to humour your… colleague, and I shall ensure that her foolishness does not kill him."

Dawson gave him a prim sort of glare.

"Thank you for that," Goldman said. "All right, Harry. You ready?"

Harry nodded and opened his mouth. Severus frowned at a surge of strange magic just as the potion hit Harry's tongue, but he dismissed it as a unique reaction in sunguards. 

Still, the situation left him uneasy, and he kept his hand pressed around his wand as Goldman began the interrogation, just in case.


	2. Blind Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for a discussion of rape. Severus is shattered here, too.

#  **Chapter 2**

##  _Blind Justice_

The questioning went far better than Harry had feared. Dawson didn't challenge him throughout his interrogation, and, for a moment, he thought they might get through this peacefully, though their information had shaken Kingsley.

Until the questioning switched to Severus.

Goldman was pale and slightly green as he spoke to Severus about the Marauders' second assault. "So, Potter forced you to perform oral sex upon him, and Mister Lupin was unconscious. What were the other two doing at the time?"

Severus shuddered. "Black did not take well to their choice of entertainment. He was appalled and thought they had taken matters much too far. When Potter encouraged him to join in, Black blamed me for their descent into madness. He implied that I had drawn them into it, or poisoned them somehow, I suppose. And so, he took out his anger upon me. He cursed me with a magical tattoo, of a sorts—"

Dawson interjected with another _hem-hem_ that made three of the four men present shudder in revulsion. "A magical tattoo? Don't you mean to say _another_ tattoo?" Her eyes darted to Severus' left arm and back. "Surely this wasn't the first."

"I was barely sixteen at the time," Severus said, his voice frigid and his grip on Harry's hand just this side of painful. "I was not yet marked."

"And that has nothing to do with this anyway," Harry snapped. "Stick to the events in question or get out, ma'am, if you can't be objective."

She frowned and adjusted her skirt. "I only wanted to be clear on the timeline."

Harry seriously doubted that.

Goldman shot her a dark look, then nodded to Severus. "You were saying?"

"Black cursed me with a magical tattoo. It took me some months to devise a way to remove it, but—"

Another _hem-hem_ made even Goldman twitch in irritation this time. " _Yes_ , Dawson?"

"I would like to point out a likely untruth in Master Snape's testimony. Magical tattoos cannot be removed."

Severus removed his hand from Harry's and peeled back his sleeve, revealing his left arm. All that remained of the dark mark was a few thin black lines forming the rough outline of a skull and part of the snake.

"Are you still going to question my veracity?"

"No," Goldman said, voice sharp, "she isn't."

Dawson's eyes flashed briefly with irritation, but she masked it quickly. "I'm relieved to see that you were able to scheme up a method of removal." But her tone hinted at a suspicion of dishonest motives, and Harry wanted to torch her.

"Dawson," Kingsley said, tone frigid, "watch it. You're on thin ice."

Dawson pursed her lips, but didn't dare contradict Kingsley. "Pardon me, sir. I'm only interested in making sure his testimony is honest as Veritaserum isn't an option."

"Considering a sunguard has already vouched for his story, and one under Veritaserum at that, I question _your_ honesty at the moment."

"All I have done is question him in search of clarification, sir."

"If you had actually asked the man a single question rather than gone about trying to make us doubt his testimony, I _might_ believe a word or two of that statement." Kingsley fixed her with a hard glare. "Get it together or get out, Dawson."

She opened her mouth, likely to protest again, then snapped it shut. "Yes, sir." Her tone revealed no disrespect or obvious intent to disobey, but Harry didn't like the calculating look in her eyes. Judging by his mate's posture, neither did Severus.

"Captain, can she be thrown out yet? Neither of us trust her."

Goldman rubbed his brow. "At this point, no." He shot her a glare that knocked the smug smirk off her face. "But continued interruptions with clear intent to discredit the professor will give me the right to claim bias and take disciplinary action. Again."

Harry looked at Severus and rubbed his mate's shaking back. "Sir, is there no one else? Whether she can be disciplined now or not, this is incredibly difficult for Severus, and she's making it a thousand times harder."

Goldman sighed. "Three years ago, I could have taken my pick of muggleborn aurors. Now, Dawson and Rosenberg are the only two fully-trained muggleborns left on the force at all, and Rosenberg just went home three hours ago after pulling a double. Still, if you're really unable to go on, I'll call her in. It's just going to take her time to get here. She has three young children, you see, and her husband died in the war. She'll have to arrange for a sitter before she can leave them."

Severus winced and shook his head. "She has more than enough to concern herself with then. I will try to go on, if we can keep the interruptions to a minimum."

"We will." Goldman glared at Dawson. "Won't we?"

Dawson gave him a honeyed smile Harry didn't need his experiences with Umbridge to see right through. "Of course, sir. If there's no reason to interrupt, I won't."

"Your _reasons_ had better be damn good ones next time, Dawson." Kingsley gave Severus an apologetic look. "Merlin, Severus. I'm sorry about this. You shouldn't have to go through this after the hell you already survived."

Severus stared at the table. "I am a victim of rape and a man. Even if I had never joined the dark, I would meet with resistance. We are discredited much more frequently than we ought to be. I cannot tell you how many times students came to me begging for help, female and male alike, and my pleas for them fell upon deaf ears. Even when I bypassed Albus and went straight to the aurors…." He sighed and hugged his chest. "Such is our fate, I fear."

"Not tonight, Master Snape," Goldman said, eyes sharp with determination. "I swear to you I will do everything in my power to see justice done."

Severus slumped in relief. "Merlin, thank you."

Harry frowned at the blank look on Dawson's face. Occlumency? _Now_? What the hell was she trying to hide? He kept his eyes on her as Severus returned his hand to Harry's and gathered his wits.

Goldman gave him a concerned look. "Are you able to go on now, Professor?"

"Yes." Severus took a deep breath and went on with his tale. "The tattoo stretched across the small of my back and buttocks and read 'Voldemort's Whore.' I suffered greatly for it later. At the time of the assault, however, I only knew of the pain."

"Yes, I imagine that must have been terrible." Goldman meant it, too. "What was Pettigrew doing during all of this, Master Snape?"

Severus' breath hitched. His hand trembled in Harry's, and what little colour remained in his face drained away.

Harry murmured, "Severus, do you need me to hold on tighter or move back?"

"Tighter," Severus whispered.

Harry cautiously slid his arm around Severus' shoulders and switched his other hand into his mate's. "Okay?"

Severus gave a terse nod. He was shaking all over. Harry made slow, gentle circles on Severus' back and held his hand tight.

"I'm here, Severus. You don't have to face this alone."

Severus breathed in harshly. Two fast, fat tears streaked his face, and Harry gently brushed them away.

"Pettigrew… watched for a moment," Severus forced out. "Then, he grew impatient and said he would not wait for his turn that time. He… he put his hand on my…." His voice broke. "On my… penis, and… stroked me. I cried out for help, but no one could hear or understand."

Goldman paused and took a deep breath. His hand shook around his quill.

"I see. And what happened after this?"

Severus ducked his head in horror and shame, and tears dripped onto Harry's hand. Severus' pain hurt Harry so much. 

He curled his fingers tighter around Severus' and blinked tears of his own down his face. 

Severus brushed them onto his thumb and gazed at the pearly liquid. "These are so precious. So rare. You are the only one to ever weep for my pain."

"Not true, Severus. My roommates during the war all cried for you at some point, some more than others." Harry hoped he would understand without further hints that Xerides had been just as distraught over Severus' suffering as himself.

"They… did?"

"Yeah. We all came to care for you while we fought to keep you safe and watched you sacrifice everything for us all." Harry kissed his mate's forehead. "You aren't alone anymore, love."

"They aren't the only ones to care either." 

Severus whipped his head around at Kingsley's comment. The auror motioned to himself and Goldman. 

"We've seen this too much in our line of work to cry, but it definitely hurts. Even inured to it as we are, it hurts. Harry is right, Severus. You do have allies now."

"And a partner who will fight for you no matter what," Harry murmured.

Severus shuddered and buried his head in Harry's shoulder. "I… oh. It is so strange and lovely."

"That you aren't alone anymore, love?"

"Yes. Gods, yes."

"I'm here." Harry kissed his hair. "I can't take your pain away, but I'll help you heal however I can."

"Your devotion is enough."

Dawson made a quiet sound of disbelief. Harry shot her a dark glare charged with fire and comforted his mate.

"I'm here, Severus. Forever. No matter what."

Severus nodded and sat, wiping his face. "Forgive me."

"No. There is nothing to forgive." Goldman's gentle voice put Severus at ease. 

"Thank you."

"As Master Potter said, no thanks are necessary for common decency." Goldman waited until Severus had composed himself a bit more. "Do you need to take a break, Master Snape?"

Severus shuddered. "I fear I would lose my nerve. No, let us simply go on."

"Very well. Stop us at any time if you need to."

"Thank you."

"Not at all." Goldman watched Severus with clear concern in his eyes, but continued the investigation as Severus had requested. "You last stated that Pettigrew was manually stimulating you against your will. What happened next?"

Severus opened his mouth and closed it again. "I…."

"It's okay, Master Snape. You're not on trial here."

Severus nodded and closed his eyes. "It continued for some time, and then… I…."

Dawson glanced to Kingsley and back to Severus. "Did you become aroused?"

Kingsley bristled. Harry knew he wanted to protest, but as she hadn't actually done anything wrong, he couldn't do much against her.

Severus flinched. "I… no."

Harry squeezed his hand. "Do you need me to explain, Severus?"

Severus opened his mouth and shut it. "I cannot. I cannot say it. Please, Harry."

"Okay. Shh. You have nothing to be ashamed of." He kissed Severus' hand and turned to Goldman and Kingsley. "His body reacted physically, meaning he had an erection, but emotionally, he was anything but aroused. It horrified him. He was terrified and ashamed and miserable. There was nothing like pleasure in it at all."

Severus covered his face with a shaking hand. "Y-yes. Harry has… has the right of it."

"So you are claiming there was no enjoyment though your body clearly reacted?"

Kingsley growled, "Dawson."

Severus flinched and curled in on himself. "I wanted to die. When it happened. I could think of nothing beyond the horror of what was happening to me and the fact that my body had betrayed me. Pleasure, as Harry said, was the furthest thing from my mind."

"But you had an erection?"

"That doesn't mean he wanted it," Harry snapped.

Dawson gave him a cold smile. "I'm simply verifying the facts, Master Potter."

" _Sure_ you are." Harry stroked Severus' back. "Don't listen to that bint." He ignored Dawson's squawk of outrage. "It wasn't your fault."

Severus laced their fingers together and clung to Harry's hand for dear life. "You… you are sure?"

"Yes, love. Absolutely."

"Severus," Kingsley said in a gentle voice, "Harry is right. It happens sometimes. Not all rape is physically painful, much as it hurts inside, and sometimes even when it is…." He shook his head. "It's just the way we're wired. Don't blame yourself."

Severus shuddered in relief. "Oh." He swallowed hard. "I… thank you."

"Not at all. Can you go on now, or do you need a minute?"

"I would rather not stop." Severus took a shaky breath. "After that, Pettigrew…."

Severus went on, describing the double rape in halting, unsteady tones. Harry comforted him the entire time, watching his mate carefully for signs of discomfort with his touch. Severus didn't stop until he reached the part of the entire memory that had shattered him above all others.

"Pettigrew… finished then, and I… I…." Tears choked his voice. "I can't."

Harry squeezed his hand. "Do you want me to—?"

"No need," interjected Dawson. "I think we all know what happened." The honeyed tone of her voice set Harry's temper sparking. "Major Shacklebolt, Captain Goldman, I move to have this case dismissed and purged from the records."

Severus tucked his head into his knees. Harry stood and clenched his fists, fire blazing under his skin. At his mate's muted whimper, he stroked Severus' hair with one hand and held the other in readiness to attack. He held his flames back by a thread, but his posture made the threat he posed clear enough.

"Harry," Kingsley said, tone grim, "much as I agree that Dawson needs an attitude adjustment or twelve, killing her right now won't help Severus." 

The warning gave Harry enough control to avoid sending the bitch up in flames, barely. Harry jerked his head in a nod.

Kingsley turned a sharp glare on Dawson once he was certain Harry wouldn't kill her. His eyes sparked violet with his magic and his teeth bared.

"And why in Merlin's name do you dare suggest such a ridiculous course of action, Dawson?"

Dawson edged back, and Harry took great pleasure in the knowledge that they had rattled her that much. Her eyes darted between the men, then she straightened and scowled at them all. "It is rather obvious, isn't it? Master Snape came. Clearly, he must have enjoyed the so-called rapes. We don't prosecute for willing sexual acts."

"He was petrified and forced," Harry snarled. "How the bloody hell do you get _willing_ out of that?"

"From the fact that he sustained an erection and ejaculated, Master Potter. This is _clearly_ a badly-orchestrated attempt at revenge. He _clearly_ enjoyed every second and is using his deviance to accuse well-known heroes of—"

"Elena! Get out, this instant!" 

Goldman's sharp reprimand went unheard. Harry stood, rage burning in his blood.

"No, Captain," Dawson charged over him. Her red face and bulging eyes resembled Umbridge more and more by the second. "I will not stand by and let such bias for known death eaters and liars go unpunished." 

_'I must not tell lies.'_ Harry's rage caught fire and burned on his skin. His right hand, in particular, blazed.

Dawson squeaked and jerked away, but not even Harry's obvious fury stopped her tirade.

"I-I will not be _threatened_ into silence! Snape is nothing more than a common whore, and—"

" _Silencio_!" Harry pointed his wand between Dawson's eyes. "Be glad I don't do worse, you heartless cunt."

His vision had shaded golden, and sparks flew on the air, though he managed to pull his flames back under control. "Captain Goldman, Major Shacklebolt, I'm officially filing a bias suit against this pathetic excuse for an auror and a human being, and I'm sorry, Severus, but I won't allow you to be attacked like this. I'm demanding that Madam Pomfrey or a similarly qualified healer is present before we continue this line of questioning… _with a different auror_. One who isn't so biased and self-involved as to attack a fucking victim of a heinous crime _while he's reliving it_!"

Dawson flinched every few words. Harry was sure his sparks had burned her, but at the moment, he couldn't dredge up an ounce of sympathy for the bitch. 

Goldman stood and eased Harry away. "Take care of your companion, Harry. I'll lodge your suit right away and take care of _her_." By the look on his face, she would be sacked before the end of the night, and probably Fawley, too. Good. 'Aurors' like that didn't deserve badges.

Goldman escorted the bitch out, and Harry went to his mate. 

Severus hadn't lifted his head from his knees. His shoulders shook with silent sobs, and his body rocked slightly, as if he was trying to comfort himself.

"Hey, Severus, ssh." Harry stood in front of his knees. "Is it safe to hug you, love?"

Severus looked up, expression pained. "Why… why would you still want to h-hold me?"

Harry's heart ached for his pain. "Because you're my mate and you need to know I care about you right now."

"Why?" Severus' voice came out shattered. "Why do you care? I am a _freak_!"

Harry cringed and shuddered. "Please don't call yourself that."

"It is true. You heard her. I reacted. I fucking _came_. Over and over again. Nearly every time they… I must have wanted it on some level. Maybe… because I was so alone, I—"

"Severus, love, stop. You weren't at fault." 

"Harry is right, Severus," said Kingsley in a gentle tone. "It… happens from time to time. It's awful, but it doesn't mean you wanted it or that anything that happened back then was your fault."

Harry nodded to the auror. "Thanks, King. Do you mind giving us a minute? He's really upset and he needs me, I think."

Kingsley stood. "I'll just get Rosenberg on the floo and see if she can be trusted to handle the case with decency. No details, of course. I just don't want to subject you to another round of this rubbish, Severus."

Severus nodded tersely.

"Take care of him, Harry," said Kingsley. "I'll be back in a minute. Do you mind if Parker guards you outside the door? He's a good person."

"Yeah, we know," Harry said. "That's all right."

"Good." Kingsley lifted his hand as if he might pat Severus' shoulder, but he thought better of it and stepped back. "You'll be okay, Severus. Just listen to Harry and try to calm down a bit. I'll be back in a moment." He gave them both a sad wave and walked out, leaving Harry alone with his mate.

"Oh, Severus. I'm so sorry, love." Harry held his hands near his mate's tearful face. "Can I touch you? Just to comfort you, Severus. That's all." 

Severus nodded hesitantly. 

Harry eased his hands to Severus' face and cradled his cheeks and ears. He wiped Severus' tears with his thumbs and held him with tender compassion.

"Severus, shh. Easy, love. Not a word of what that horrid bitch said is true. People who want sex don't break down at the memory of it twenty years later. People who want sex don't cry and agonize over the trauma it left behind." Harry brushed a new wave of tears away. "You couldn't help how your body reacted, I think, but that doesn't mean you wanted it."

"I _came_ , Harry. Sometimes even more than once. How can you say I didn't want it if…?"

"Severus, let me ask you this. Did you ever ask them for sex?"

Severus shook his head and shuddered.

"And every time they used that spell, you said you didn't want it?"

Severus lowered his eyes. "By the last few months, I stopped talking at all. I just… gave up."

"But you still never gave consent, right?"

Severus nodded and stared at his knees.

"Then even if they made you beg to be taken harder by the end of it, even if you were screaming their names, it is _still rape_ , because you had no ability to give consent."

Severus looked up, horrified. "I never…."

"I know, love. I know. I was only trying to tell you that it doesn't matter if you enjoyed the end—and whether you came or not, I know you didn't—because you never consented for any of it."

Severus made a soft sound of distress. "I… but…."

Harry stroked his cheeks. "Ssh. Forgive yourself, Severus. You were _never_ the one in the wrong."

"Even when I…?"

"Even then, love."

Severus let down his knees and tugged Harry into a hug. "Hold me. Just… hold me."

Harry slipped one hand into Severus' hair, cradled his waist with the other, and held him close, pressing kisses to his cheek and shoulder. Gods. The poor man was shaking so hard, he vibrated Harry's teeth.

"I'm here, Severus. It's going to be okay."

Severus whispered, "When you hold me and… and say these soft words to me I have been missing my entire life, I can almost believe it."

"It's okay to believe, love. I won't let you fall."

Severus shuddered in Harry's arms and laid his head on the sunguard's shoulder. A long silence later, he whispered, "I will try to believe you."

Harry held him tighter and brushed a kiss across his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a real thing that happens to male survivors all the time. I researched the hell out of it (being cis female and thus unable to fully relate) and have tried to be realistic with the trauma Sev goes through and the others' reactions. Hopefully it shows despite the fact that his questioning is not at all a good experience.


	3. New Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: more discussion of rape, this time with people who are not assholes.

#  **Chapter 3**

##  _New Wings_

After Goldman brought in a mediwitch with a license in mind healing and Rosenberg, who apologised for what Severus had endured so far and handled the situation with professional aplomb despite her clear exhaustion, the rest of the questioning went smoothly. Severus could barely choke the words out describing his bodily reactions to the mediwitch, however. After so many had blamed him, he had expected her to take Dawson's line.

After all, Harry and Kingsley were biased, too. While their support relieved him, they cared too much already to be entirely objective, which elated and petrified Severus by turns.

How would Harry feel if Mediwitch Lewis confirmed Severus' deviant nature? Would Harry still want to hold Severus and call him soft names when he was afraid? Harry couldn't leave him, clearly, but he might withdraw his affection and trust, and that might hurt worse.

Severus had never had someone who cared _this_ much before. It would tear his soul to watch Harry's growing love for him die.

And Kingsley… he had stood by Severus since Harry's testimony had made the truth of his actions clear. They had come to respect one another as of late, and Severus considered him a friend. If his trauma and wayward body ripped another friendship to shreds when he had so few to speak of, he would shatter. 

No. He couldn't endure it again, but he had little choice. The truth needed to be known and Albus removed from a position of relative authority before his poison destroyed anyone else.

Severus forced the words out and braced himself for the worst, but the mediwitch surprised him.

"Severus, there is something you need to understand here. What happened to you, regardless of how your body reacted, is a heinous crime. You did not provoke them, you did not desire them, and you are not, in any way, tainted or deviant as a result of what they forced you to do."

Severus gasped and clutched Harry's hand. "I do not understand. Why do you say that? I came. I participated."

"Willingly?"

Severus shuddered. "I… no."

The mediwitch nodded. "Human bodies react to stimuli, Severus. Even when a man has no desire to be touched, if his nerves are stimulated in certain ways, his body will react. Just like the way your knee would jump if I hit it with a reflex hammer, or how Draught of Peace turns turquoise at the fifth step when one adds the correct amount of hellebore."

"Believe it or not, it happens to women sometimes, too," said Rosenberg. "It's not as common just because it's more difficult to reach the parts that stimulate a woman, though the nature of the assault does affect the likelihood of it, but it does happen, particularly when physical pain isn't a factor. It's just the way our bodies work, sadly."

Severus reeled. Chills spread all over his body and a spark of hope flooded his chest. "It is a natural reaction to stimuli?"

"Precisely," said Lewis. "Your physical response does not, in any way, imply that you were emotionally willing."

"That's exactly what I was trying to tell you earlier, Severus," said Kingsley with a sad smile. "Mediwitch Lewis and Auror Rosenberg just worded it better."

"Yes, exactly," said Goldman.

Severus closed his eyes around a rush of tears. "Oh. I… oh Merlin."

Harry brought him into his arms. "See? I told you, love. It's just because that's how our bodies work. You were _never_ a willing participant."

"I… I can hardly wrap my head around it. A-are you certain, Mediwitch Lewis?"

She smiled. "Yes. Does it feel different when Harry touches you, Severus?"

Severus swallowed hard. "We have only just begun to…."

"I didn't mean to imply sexual touch. You said your rapists treated you as if you were their partner when they had you under the thrall of their customised _Petrificus_. I had assumed that included smaller touches, too, such as holding your hand and touching your hair. Did I assume incorrectly?"

Severus frowned. "Pettigrew was only interested in sex. Potter was fond of attempting to… woo me."

"So there were some comparable touches?"

Severus shuddered. "Unfortunately so."

"And does it feel the same when Harry touches you in a similar manner, regardless of the nature of your relationship?"

"I…." Severus paused. 

Harry's entire body was shaking, hard. His expression held intense fear and pain, and his golden complexion had faded to a pinkish-grey.

This had terrified him.

Severus sighed and, with cautious introspection, slid his fingers across Harry's cold, trembling palm. He touched their fingertips together, then, when Harry did not move to hold his hand, he slid his fingers between Harry's and closed them around his mate's palm.

"It is night and day," Severus murmured. "I… feel safe when Harry touches me."

Harry let his breath out in a rush. "Oh, thank Merlin."

Severus traced his thumb across Harry's knuckles in response.

"And you didn't feel safe when James Potter touched you," said the mediwitch.

"Gods, no. I was horrified. And desolate." Severus stared at his knees. "When he tried to woo me, he would tell me he wanted to keep me _and_ Lily. That it would all work out since he believed that I wanted Lily, and he wanted both of us, and Lily had been close to me, once. But it was a foolish wish. Lily was furious at me then, I am homosexual and always have been, and Potter was my rapist."

Kingsley went rigid. "My gods. Severus, are you saying Lily _knew_? She knew and went along with it the entire time?"

Severus winced. "No. Potter did not pursue her until after Albus forced him away from me, and Lily did not believe me when I came to her for help the first time. She never did, and then…." 

He stared at the table and swallowed tears. "I loved her enough to return to the monster who bound me to silence and drove me to the dark. I loved her enough to sacrifice twenty years of my life for her and her son. And she abandoned me to the mercy of my rapists, then married one and trusted her family's lives to the other. She chose them over me because of nothing more than house pride and the foolish beliefs that men could not be raped and Gryffindors could not be rapists."

Tears raced down his face. A raw, bleeding void hollowed out his chest and left his stomach tight and cold. Of all the betrayals he had suffered in life, that had hurt the worst.

Harry scooped Severus into his arms and whispered in his ear, "I'm so proud of you, love, for doing this. You're so goddamn brave." He kissed Severus' hair and murmured, "Whatever stupid choices my idiot parents made, _I choose you_. They may be blood, but blood has never treated me well, and you're my world. You are everything to me, and I will _never_ abandon you or let you suffer. I will fight for you like she should have done and more. I'll protect you. I swear it."

Severus took refuge in his arms for a moment, letting Harry's love and devotion fill the void Lily's betrayal had left behind. Soon, he found the strength to go on, whispered thanks to his mate, and wiped his face. 

"I am ready to continue, I think."

Lewis nodded. "We can take a break if necessary."

"No. I would rather not."

"Very well. Then, forgive me the question, Severus, but did Lily believe you to be at fault due to your physical reactions?"

Severus shook his head. "She did not believe her housemates capable of such cruelty at all. The second assault did not occur until after our friendship died."

"Ah. I assumed someone you trusted had blamed you for the assault as you seemed quite convinced that you were at fault."

"Ah. No, only my assailants and Albus, and Dawson tonight, but I never trusted them."

"I see. Well, Severus, the point I am trying to make here is that they were wrong. No matter how your body may have responded physically, you were never willing. And I think you understand that a little better now, after considering the differences between willing and unwilling touches."

Severus squeezed Harry's hand and blinked down a sudden sting. "I… yes. Thank you. I have gone so long believing…."

"That you brought it on yourself?"

"Yes."

"No, Severus. Rape is never the victim's fault."

"I think… I am beginning to understand that now."

Lewis smiled. "That's wonderful to hear."

* * *

The questioning took _hours_. When they had covered everything in Severus' past, they had to go through Harry's as well, as Dumbledore was complicit in Severus' suffering. By the time they had finished, the sun had just begun to peek over the horizon.

As Kingsley escorted them to the exit, Severus looked to the windows along the Ministry atrium with a frown. They had finished their interrogation and were free to return to their beds… but Severus had no desire to go home. The night had reopened painful wounds he had kept buried under miles of Occlumency walls for years. The prospect of returning to his cold quarters to deal with the upheaval alone left him feeling ill.

And yet, he had already asked too much of Harry. It wouldn't be right to keep foisting his pain onto his already suffering mate. He sighed and tried to rebuild his shattered shields. Without them, he would not sleep at all.

"Severus, I think you should call McGonagall and let her know you're not going to be at Hogwarts for a while."

Severus gave his mate a frown. "I am not?"

Harry blushed. "Er… well, not if you don't want to be." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I want you to stay with me for a while. In your own room, of course. I just… I don't think you should be alone, especially not _there_. Not where it happened."

Severus flinched. "The prospect is less than pleasant for me as well, but I will manage, Harry." He always had, no matter how miseable he felt.

Harry gathered Severus' hand into his own. "I know you're capable, Severus. Merlin knows you managed during the war, come hell or high water, but I don't like the thought of leaving you to cope with the aftermath of all this alone. You've been put through the wringer tonight, and I'm worried about you. Would you come to my house, please, and let me watch over you today?" His mind revealed images of his night elf friend as well and both elf and sunguard's strong desire to protect him.

Severus' heart skipped. "You… wish to…?"

"Take care of you, yes. If you'll let me."

Let him? Severus ached for it.

And yet….

"I have already caused you so much trouble and pain tonight, Harry. I… I find myself loath to burden you further with my grief."

"You aren't a burden, though, Severus." Harry squeezed Severus' fingers and released his hand. "And the truth is that I want you where I can protect you. Will you stay? Um… that is, if you feel safe with me. It's okay if you don't. Gods, I'm asking too soon, aren't I? You're not ready for that. Though I don't mean it as… what you're probably thinking right now, it's still—"

"Harry."

Harry winced and looked up. "I'll take you home, Severus. Just—"

"Harry. You are making plans for me."

Harry cringed and ran his free hand through his hair, settling it at the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. Barely ten hours in and I'm already bollocksing everything up."

On the contrary, Severus found his flustered babbling to be… sweet. He couldn't think of a better descriptor.

And if Harry needed him to stay, well. That made his decision easier, but….

Severus looked around him at all the people shuffling into the atrium. Bleary-eyed workers suddenly sprang into alertness at the sight of them, and though no one stared openly at this hour, he doubted anything said there would stay private long.

"I will need to return to Hogwarts. I am not safe elsewhere." Mentally, he added, _[Just to shower and retrieve my belongings. I will stay with you, Harry, but it is better if I do not mention it aloud, not here.]_ He repeated the message for Kingsley and received a pair of nods.

"Well, all right," Harry said with a worried frown. "I don't like it, but your safety is most important." He dug in his pockets and removed a folded slip of parchment. "Here. I meant to give this to you earlier, after our… talk, but everything went mad, and I completely forgot. Anyway, keep that in case you need to contact me for anything. Anything at all, I mean it."

The address. Severus sensed the wards on the parchment as Harry pressed it into his palm. No one would be able to read it but himself. Good.

"Thank you." Severus tucked the parchment into his lapel pocket without opening it and warded it in. "I will keep it in mind."

"Yeah. You ready to go then?"

"We had better. We shall be the front page of the evening Prophet if we remain much longer."

Harry looked around and groaned. "Damn. Severus, I hate to break it to you, but—"

"It is too late to worry about it, isn't it?"

Harry grimaced. "Gods, I hope not."

Severus looked to the Prophet stand. The few remaining papers still bore last night's headlines, but it would change soon enough. "Yes. Well, we shall deal with the situation as it comes. For now, let us go home before we become more of a spectacle than we already are." 

"Right. Best not to be here when the paper comes."

"Indeed."

Kingsley ushered them on. "It will change in about five minutes, so let's hurry on. Harry, are you disapparating home?"

"Absolutely. I never floo from the Ministry. Who knows what kind of trackers are on those fireplaces."

"Smart decision. Severus?"

"It makes no difference to me as the Ministry already knows where I live." Severus added mentally, _[And we will both be safer if they track me leaving without Harry.]_

"Good point." Kingsley motioned to the floo. "We'll just get you home first then, Severus, since it's on the way to the apparition point."

"Thank you, Kingsley."

"Not at all. Come along."

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and followed. "I hope our síoda and Ron and 'Mione are okay." He didn't mention Xerides, but Severus caught images of his face in his mate's thoughts. "They were so worried when we left last night."

Severus nodded. "I will be sure to let Hippa know you are well."

"Thanks. She's a good little soul. I don't want her to worry."

"I will take care of it."

"Yeah." Harry gave him a sad smile as they arrived at the floos. "Severus, I'm very proud of you for facing your fears tonight. Well done." He closed his eyes. "And thank you, for saving me."

_[I always will.]_

Harry blinked hard. "You always have." He wiped his eyes and smiled. "See you later this week, yeah?"

Later as in twenty minutes later. Severus' little lion had a bit of Slytherin in him after all.

"Yes, you shall. Goodnight, gentlemen, and thank you for staying with me."

"Anytime, Severus," Kingsley said with a nod. "Goodnight."

"Yes, anytime." Harry squeezed Severus' hand briefly. "Goodnight, Severus." He couldn't say anything else, not here, but Severus read his love and devotion in his thoughts and carried it close to his heart.

_[Until later, my Harry.]_

Harry gave him a warm smile, and Severus held the memory of it in his mind as he flooed away.


	4. Home Again

#  **Chapter 4**

##  _Home Again_

Harry couldn't decide if he wanted to fly up his walkway or drag himself down it. He had never felt such varying extremes of emotion in his life. At least, not at the same time.

On the one hand, he had his mate. He no longer had to face a millennium alone or a miserable death. Severus had accepted him and wanted a future with him, and they had taken the steps necessary to move beyond the shackles of his traumatic past. It would take time to heal, for both of them, but they would overcome it together, one step at a time.

And yet, the events of the night had ripped Harry hollow. He had accustomed himself long ago to the realisation that none of his relatives were as perfect as the world seemed to believe, but _this_? He could barely wrap his head around this level of horror.

Merlin. The idea that his father had kept Severus like an unwilling concubine left him queasy. It was horrific. 

He paused with his hand on the doorknob. And much like the story of Ashti. Gods. Helios, too? Did all sunguards have such traumatised mates?

Well, either way, _Harry's_ mate had been completely ruined for sex _and_ love for his entire life. Harry was the first person Severus had touched willingly in twenty-five years. At least, beyond the simple touches appropriate between a student and professor and the occasional pat on the shoulder from McGonagall and Pomfrey.

And yet, if Harry expected to survive, they would have to be mates one day. In every sense of the word. The idea left him in a cold sweat. Harry had tried to give Severus some idea of what love meant, but the man had so much trauma to overcome before they could begin to have a normal relationship. Well, they had done all right so far, but it would change when sex became a factor, no doubt about it. 

It fell to Harry to teach Severus what it meant to be loved while learning that himself and trying not to scar the man all over again. Merlin, was he up to a challenge like that?

He had no idea, but he wanted to try. He wanted to help Severus recover any way he could. He wanted his mate, too, and a family with Severus one day, and that meant he needed to help him heal.

Well, there would be time to work this all out later, he supposed. First, he needed to research rape trauma in greater detail and learn what Severus needed from him, and before that, he needed a shower, a solid meal, and a nice long kip. Preferably near Severus' arms, if sleeping in them wasn't a possibility yet.

He yawned and dragged himself into the house through his kitchen. He usually used the moonroom—well, technically a sunroom, but Xerides only used it at night, so they had taken to calling it a moonroom instead. Harry used that entrance when he needed to be discreet, which was almost always. The neighbours couldn't see him enter that way, and he liked the plants and elven décor Xerides had stashed in every corner of the moonroom anyway. Today, however, Harry needed the neighbours to see him. He needed an alibi that he had come home alone. 

Besides, he was in dire need of a meal. A sandwich would do until Severus came back. Then he could make them breakfast, though Winky would probably beat him to it, come to think of it.

A good thing, too. Dear gods, he was exhausted. He dragged himself through the house to the kitchen and turned to the cold box, but stopped at the sight of a letter on the table, scrawled in Severus' hand.

"What's this then?" Harry picked it up, hoping Severus hadn't changed his mind, and read.

> _Harry,_
> 
> _I don't understand what happened this evening. Why did you leave me? I am so afraid and heartbroken, and I don't know what to do without you. I thought we were going to face this together. Why did you leave?_
> 
> _Don't you understand that I need you? I want you to be my future. I don't care what I need to do, to say. Please. Tell me why. Tell me you still want me for your mate. I can't endure this again._
> 
> _Please don't let it end like this._

Harry was in tears long before he finished the letter. "Oh, _Severus_ ," he breathed. "Oh, gods, I'm so sorry, love. If only I'd kept my wits about me, this wouldn't have happened." He folded the letter and tucked it in his shirt. He would keep it as a reminder never to hurt Severus again. 

Well, he hadn't intended to hurt him at all. It was only that he hadn't been able to cope with the knowledge of what his parents had done and the idea of forcing a predestined bond on a man who had been violated by Harry's own father.

Fuck. He still couldn't cope. Severus wanted the bond, and Harry would never turn away from it again, but the idea of what his parents had done, what they had taken from them both… gods help him, it was horrifying.

A sudden surge of anger and pain ripped out of him. He gave a strangled cry and sank into one of his kitchen chairs, struggling to breathe through a suffocating wave of white-hot anguish and icy horror.

He buried his head in the table and wept like he never had before. For Severus, of course. For the loss of his ideals and cherished dreams. For himself, and the terrifying road to healing before him. For the loss of his family all over again. And for the sheer trauma of everything he had endured in the past twenty-four hours. It was too much for anyone to cope with alone.

Maybe he would skip the sandwich and just find Xerides to help him calm down before Severus came.

"Merlin!" Ron's startled voice sounded from the direction of the living room, and Harry realised his friends had waited up for him. 

Oh, gods, he hadn't the strength to face them now.

A small body crashed into his legs, and then another, and Harry looked down to find Dobby crying onto one of his knees and Winky on the other. Kreacher was more composed, but he stood a little away, eyes fearful and full of tears.

"Hey," Harry soothed them, patting both síoda's heads. "Shh. It's all right. I'm just… it's been a _terrible_ night."

Winky whimpered. "Master is not poisoning himself now? You is not leaving us?"

Harry scooped her right up into his arms. "I am so sorry I scared you like that. It's all right. I'm not going to hurt myself."

Winky cried in his shoulder, Dobby on his knee, and Kreacher at his side. Ron, Hermione, and Xerides watched from the doorway, each with expressions of deep fear and sorrow.

"I'm sorry, everyone," Harry said in a breaking voice. "The… danger has passed, but it's been—the whole night was ridiculously traumatic, and I'm just… I'm utterly broken."

Xerides moved to Harry's side and brought him into a hug. "I am here for you."

Harry curled into him for a moment, struggling to pull it together. Severus needed him to be strong, but everything hurt so bloody much, and Harry had so little strength left.

Ron sat beside them and rubbed Harry's back between his wings. "Merlin, mate. Between this and Godric's Hollow… what your father did—it was worse than we imagined, wasn't it?"

Xerides shuddered. "I saw the cemetery. It _was_ terrible, wasn't it? If you are free to reveal that much, of course."

Harry sat up and gave a bitter snort. "Honestly, Xeri? Terrible doesn't begin to cover it. If my father was still alive, I'd kill him and the foul rat myself. Then I'd come for Sirius. And probably _her_ , too. I'd kill the bloody lot of them besides Remus, and I'd be _justified_."

"Dear gods," Hermione breathed. "You're not exaggerating, are you?"

"Not in the least," Harry bit out. "Azkaban is too good for scum like th-them." His voice broke on a sob, and he buried his face in his hands. "Oh gods, it _hurts_."

Hermione rushed to hug him, and Harry wept helplessly on her shoulder. 

Merlin help him, he loved knowing Severus was willing to be his mate, but the truth of his family was tearing him to shreds.

"I'm sorry, Sev'rus. So goddamn sorry."

* * *

Severus had just finished his shower and dressed when the floo in his office rang. He wasn't at all in the mood to deal with his colleagues at the moment, but on the off-chance Harry needed him and hadn't remembered to floo into his quarters, Severus decided to risk a look. 

Of all the people he might have expected to find in his fireplace, Ron Weasley was at the bottom of the list. Severus jolted and grimaced. Merlin, he hadn't the strength to endure an inquisition at the moment even if he knew Ron cared and his intentions were good.

Still, the fact that Ron had come and not Harry worried him. Had something happened? He took a deep breath, set his occlumency shields, and stepped into view.

"Mister Weasley? What is it? Is Harry well?"

Ron shook his head. "He's in a right state, sir. And… well, he needs you."

Severus' heart dropped. "Merlin. The address?"

"Er… shite. I can't give it to you. It's under _Fidelius_. Harry didn't…?"

"Ah, right. I had forgotten." Severus summoned the parchment from last night's robe. 

_"Potter Manor West_ _—_ _sorry about the name, by the way—can be found at 32 Cherry Wind Way, Cardiff, Wales."_

"Ah, I have it. Step back, please, unless I am warded out?"

Ron shook his head. "You were always keyed in as an exception to the wards. Just come through, please. He needs you."

"Shite. Move, Weasley."

The boy vanished. Severus reactivated the floo and traveled to Harry's address as fast as he could manage it. He landed in a spacious living room with tasteful décor and photos of Harry's loved ones all about, including a few Harry had taken of Severus himself. Plants decorated every available surface and the huge picture windows reflected the dawn. The place felt alive, in a way, and Severus loved it on sight, but at a broken cry from ahead, he moved towards the sound without registering much beyond that. Ron laid a hand on his arm before he could go to Harry.

"Wait. Bef—"

The touch was a mistake. With his trauma so close and his mate sobbing his heart out in the other room, Severus couldn't bear it. He jerked back with a cry of terror.

"No, no, don't touch me."

Ron winced and held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Sorry, Severus. Just wanted to warn you Xeri is in there, and he might be a bit startled to see you here. Just go easy and he'll be fine."

Severus forced his trauma back. "I-I will keep it in mind. Now move, please."

Ron stepped aside. "Go on then."

Severus hurried after his distraught mate, following the sound of his grief through the living room, past two u-shaped staircases, through a formal dining room that looked as though it didn't see much use, and into a well-appointed kitchen with a rustic table and more plants draped atop a line of oak cabinets. Harry sat at the table, crying helplessly in Hermione's arms. Severus stepped towards him, but stopped as he caught sight of the night elf standing guard near the table, eyes wide and fixed on him.

Dear gods, _this_ was Xerides? Severus could well believe him a famed fighter. He had to be at least six and a half feet tall, and his frame spoke of power and agility Severus would be a fool to test whether the elf had access to his magic during the day or not. 

Xerides stepped back, half on guard and half relinquishing his position to Severus, and Severus lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender, much like Ron had done a moment before.

_[I am not your enemy, Xerides.]_

Xerides' tense posture relaxed. The elf nodded to Harry, and Severus appreciated both the elf's quiet discretion and loyalty to Severus' mate.

 _[Thank you.]_ He went to Harry and rubbed the sunguard's shaking shoulders. "Harry, pet, I am here."

Harry gasped and jerked up. "S-Sev'rus? Merlin, I'm sorry, love. I keep trying to buck up so I can be here for you, but… I can't stop…."

Severus tucked him into his arms and nudged Harry's head to rest under his chin. "Nonsense. You have been through as much trauma as I have tonight, perhaps more since it is fresh for you." He hadn't the courage to kiss Harry in front of the others, even atop his head, but he brushed his lips across Harry's hair. "Shh. You do not always need to be strong. I will help you as well."

Harry whimpered and threw his arms around Severus' waist. "'M sorry. So sorry. Don' wanna let you down."

"You never have, pet." Severus stroked Harry's hair. "I have you."

"Is it o-okay to hold you? 'S not too traumatic?"

Severus discreetly observed the others at Harry's words. Ron and Hermione looked sorrowful, but bemused at Harry's comment. The elf, on the other hand, shuddered and closed his eyes in grief.

Damn. He knew.

"It is all right, pet. I will hold you now." Severus stroked Harry's hair and cradled him close, but kept his gaze on Xerides.

As soon as the night elf opened his eyes again, Severus was ready.

_[Please, do not reveal what you know.]_

Xerides gave no outward sign that he had heard. _[Your secrets are your own, Severus. I will not speak of them without your permission and presence.]_

So he truly was a mind mage. Severus liked him more by the minute. 

_[How long have you known?]_

_[Quite some time. The humans here have never seen the signs and do not know how to recognise them, but I have.]_ Xerides shook his head slightly. _[And the fact that Pettigrew chose to attack you in that manner in the middle of a battlefield of all places—I suspected it had happened before.]_

Severus shuddered at the memory. _[You spared me a lifetime of hell. Thank you.]_

Xerides bowed slightly. _[I will gladly protect you, if you allow it.]_

Severus swallowed a surge of wonder and gratitude. Merlin. He had never been treated like this. Never respected, never shown care or affection—not until Harry saved him.

 _[Thank you.]_ He glanced to Ron and Hermione. _[The others do not know?]_

_[No, and they shall not unless you tell them. Neither Harry nor I will violate your trust.]_

_[I… I believe you.]_

Xerides gave him a sorrowful smile. _[I am glad to hear it, but do take care of your mate. He is asleep on you.]_

Severus looked down to realise Harry had slumped against his chest, slow breaths broken up with hiccups and residual sniffles. The sight filled him with a soft, protective sort of affection, and he ran his hand through Harry's hair. 

"I will take him to his room, if you wish," Xerides said, voice subdued.

Severus hesitated, then gave the elf a tentative nod. "He might be too unwieldy for me to manage in an unfamiliar place."

Xerides inclined his head and gently scooped Harry into his arms. The sunguard muttered something unintelligible and curled up like a kitten. Severus found the sight endearing.

"Lead the way, then."

Xerides nodded and carried Harry up in silence. Severus followed him around a u-shaped staircase into a large hallway with several doors lining each side and a living area behind the staircases. A set of French doors led to a spacious balcony and the start of another stairway up, and the floor-to-ceiling windows on either side flooded the room with natural light. Bookcases lined both sides of the living area, which invited quality time with a favourite book and a cup of tea, and Severus knew he could feel at home here. 

Xerides led him into the room directly across the hall from the reading area. It opened to a cavernous master suite that looked as though it might swallow Severus' little mate whole. Though with all three present, the room felt less overwhelming. 

Like every other room in the house, plants dotted every corner and shelf. Xerides' touch, no doubt. Severus liked it, though. The greenery and the warm, open décor breathed life into what might otherwise be a stark, imposing home a lá Malfoy Manor, though Narcissa had done wonders with the place since the end of the war. 

Xerides carried Harry to bed and laid him upon the sheets. "I cannot help him undress at the moment. My power is too low."

Severus flicked his wand and sent Harry's shoes to the mat beside the door and transfigured his denims and polo into cotton pyjamas. "That will do."

Xerides frowned. "Well, he usually—"

Harry grumbled. "'S too hot." With that, he banished the shirt to the other side of the room and curled into the bed, lying on his stomach.

Severus froze and took a step back. No. He couldn't—too soon. Memories came flooding in, and Severus struggled to keep from losing himself among them. 

"N-no."

"Severus." Xerides' voice called across the reaches of time. "You are safe here. Harry will not hurt you and neither shall I. He is only trying to ready himself for sleep."

Severus stared and backed away. Harry was beautiful, but….

"Severus, look at me." Xerides called his attention around again. "You are safe. Breathe."

Harry sat up and rubbed his eyes. "S-Sev'rus?"

Severus shuddered at the associations that slurred, sleepy voice brought back. 

"Severus, Merlin. Are you all right?"

"Put a shirt on, Harry. He is frightened."

Harry looked down his body and made a strangled sound of shock. "When did I…? Oh, it doesn't matter right now." He summoned a tee shirt and spelled it on. "Okay, all covered. Sorry, love. Are you all right?"

Severus put a shaking hand to his face. "I… in a moment."

Xerides gave him a searching look. "Harry, I am going to send Ron and Hermione home. I will go with them, unless you would prefer me to stay?"

Harry sighed. "Xeri, this is your home. You don't have to leave."

"Severus may not feel the same. And I do not wish to add to his trauma regardless." Xerides' ears lowered. "It is only for the day, Harry."

Severus sensed a wave of intense grief from the elf and had a fair idea what had caused it. "Xerides, I will not drive you from your home. If you wish to stay, then stay. I trust your discretion."

Xerides flushed and dropped his head. His ears brushed his shoulders. "I… thank you. For the moment, however, I think it is best that I go with Ron and Hermione. It will be easier to explain that you need time alone and remain discreet than to try to get them to leave without going myself."

Harry rubbed his face. "I guess you're right about that. But you will come back tonight?"

Xerides inclined his head. 

"Thanks."

Severus nodded to the elf as well. "Thank you, Xerides."

"It is no trouble. I will see you later then. Severus, if you have need of us for any reason while Harry is sleeping, the floo address is 21 Apple Tree Lane, Ellwood, England."

Severus blinked. "You are their secret keeper?"

"The Forest House is under síoda and blood wards, not a _Fidelius_ ," Harry explained. "Xerides and I set permanent wards over this property when we moved in, but Ron and Hermione still use the wards we set when we fled Hogwarts. It was the only wards we knew would keep Dumbledore out. They're switching the wards soon, before we attempt to break the curse over the síoda, but for now, there is no secret keeper."

"Ah. Yes, that makes a bit more sense, but how did síoda wards keep Hippa out?"

Harry shrugged. "It was probably because Winky is formally bonded to the Potter line and Hippa wasn't bonded to you at the time. That bond makes their magic stronger."

Severus rubbed his chin. "I didn't consider that. Well done."

Harry chuckled wryly. "If you want to call it that."

"Yes." Severus nodded to Xerides. "Thank you for your assistance, Xerides. I think we will be well enough to sleep now." Or attempt it, at least.

Xerides' expression revealed his doubts, but he only bowed his head and left. Severus watched him go with a surge of trepidation. Would they be well on their own?

Harry sighed and rubbed his face. "Severus, are you hungry?"

Severus jumped at his voice. "Ah, yes. It has been quite a long night, after all."

"All right. Let me show you to a room, then you can rest a bit while Winky and I get some breakfast together. Oh, but do you have clothes with you?"

Severus shook his head. "I left in rather a hurry."

"Well, you can transfigure something of mine. Let me just…."

Severus opened his mouth to remind Harry of Hippa, but Harry had already summoned a set of black pyjamas. 

"Will these do?"

Severus nodded and took them from the sunguard. "Thank you."

"Not at all. I'll just let you dress then and get breakfast started. Come on, and we'll pick a room for you. Actually, this one, I think…." Harry led Severus to the room directly across the hall. "If you have nightmares, I want to be able to help. And if _I_ have them, I would rather you be close enough to help, too." Harry hesitated. "Um, is that all right?"

Severus peeked into the room, taking stock of the blue-grey upholstery, white curtains, and silver carpet. Again, plants decorated every corner. 

"Hm. Yes, it should be fine."

"Great. Then meet me in the kitchen whenever you're ready. You remember where it is?"

"Of course, but…." Severus flushed. "Your friends…?"

"Xerides already packed them off home, love. They wouldn't have put up a fight against him, not over this. They know full well Xeri is more experienced with this than they are. So we're alone but for Dobby, Kreacher, and Winky, and they will, most likely, leave us alone when the meal is served. They've already eaten, I'm sure, so they'll just make sure we're okay and then go about their work for the clothing shop, probably."

Severus relaxed. "Thank you. I will join you shortly, then."

"Yes." Harry paused. "Severus, might I give the síoda a rough overview of what happened yesterday? They would be able to take care of you better if they understand your needs."

Severus hugged his chest. "If you are… sparse with details and ask them not to speak of the situation with anyone else, then you may. Though it shames me."

Harry went to him and cradled his face. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, love. Nothing. You did nothing wrong. The bastards who hurt you are the ones who should be ashamed of their behavior."

"They are dead."

"Good thing, too, or I'd be in Azkaban."

Severus leaned into Harry's hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Are you… feeling better now?"

"Yes. It helps that you believe in me."

"I always will. Are you okay to change now, or do you need me?"

"I am well enough." Severus brushed his cheek into Harry's hand and let his lips curve upwards a little. He couldn't quite smile yet, not after the night they had endured, but it was a start.

Harry brushed his thumb at the corner of Severus' lips and smiled. "Lovely." He traced his hand down Severus' cheek, then stepped back. "I'll go on and see to breakfast. Take your time. See you in a bit."

Severus nodded and watched him leave. Once Harry had gone, Severus sat on the bed and let his breath out in a rush. 

" _Merlin_ , what a hellish day it has been."

And yet, parts had been lovely, too. How someone so loving and gentle could have come from James Potter boggled Severus. Harry was so tender and careful with Severus' broken heart, he had never seen the father in the son at all, not since Harry had been his student.

But he would. One day, and probably one day _soon_ , he knew he would. They had best discuss the situation before it occurred so Harry didn't interpret a flashback or confusion of the past and present as a rejection. Especially since any form of rejection might prove fatal and Severus might not be mentally present enough to respond.

Yes, Harry needed to understand the situation now, before they slept. Severus had no doubt his dreams would torment him that night—morning, rather—and as he had no wish to accidentally reject his mate, Harry needed to know that Severus would stand by him in case the dreams overcame his sense of reality.

With a nod to himself, he locked and warded the door—for his own comfort rather than out of any mistrust of his mate—undressed, and tugged the resized pyjama bottoms over his hips.


	5. Healing Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because by god the boys need a break and a hug.

#  **Chapter 5**

##  _Healing Tears_

Breakfast was mostly a quiet affair. Both men were weary to the bone, and Harry hesitated to begin a conversation and potentially choose a bad topic when his mate was so raw. Severus needed to sleep, and, Merlin help him, so did Harry.

Severus pushed the remainder of his eggs around his plate and frowned into his half-melted ice water. Harry watched his mate fiddle with his food for a while and wondered what was bothering him. He tried to think of something to help Severus come out with whatever bee had gotten in his bonnet, but after several moments of fruitless attempts, he reverted to the Gryffindor approach.

"Severus? Is something on your mind?"

Severus shot him a wry look.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck and gave him a sheepish smile. "Er… other than the obvious, I meant. You look like you want to talk."

Severus' cheeks went pink. "There is… something I am trying to say, but I cannot seem to find the right words."

"Just tell me, love. I'm a…." He blanched and dropped his head. No way in hell could he remind Severus of his house's traits when so many of his house had traumatized him. "Just tell me. Blunt is fine."

"Bluntness may hurt you. I do not wish you to misinterpret me and suffer for it."

Harry scooted into the chair beside Severus and offered him his hand without taking Severus'. Severus slid his hand into Harry's.

"What you have to say to me, you don't mean it to hurt, right? Even though it might sound a bit that way?"

"I intend to keep you alive and safe by it. That is my only goal, but I fear parts of it may be hurtful if you do not allow me time to explain."

Harry squeezed his hand. "Well, now I know to listen to what you say with an open ear and not take offence right away. So it'll be okay. What's on your mind?"

Severus took a deep breath. "We have, in the past twenty hours or so, unleashed pain from my past that I have had little other choice than to bury under miles of Occlumency shields for twenty-five years. The recovery… will not be easy, particularly not right away. I have severe PTSD as a result of my trauma. You know this. Do you understand what that means?"

"Yeah, somewhat. I have it, too, but my traumas are different than yours, love, and I didn't make a point of researching rape trauma too much when I was learning about it. I had thought I would be more likely to encounter survivor's guilt and such." 

Severus squeezed his hand. "Yes, in normal circumstances, I think you would have been correct, and I have more than my fair share of veteran's trauma, too." He shook his head. "Now that the war is over, we should both seek treatment from someone trustworthy."

"Maybe Mediwitch Lewis. She really seemed to get on with you, and I liked her, too."

Severus nodded. "If her schedule has openings."

"Let's ask once things calm down a bit. For now, why were you bringing up our trauma, love?"

"Because flashbacks are common when traumas are reintroduced. And more to the point, the great majority of my flashbacks come with reality breaks. I have the type that drops me entirely into the past as if I am reliving it that moment."

"Merlin. I'll be keeping Dawn Elixir handy then. Should have given you one earlier, but I didn't think of it." Harry summoned a potion and passed it to his mate. "It's okay if you need to test it. I understand it's part of your traumas."

"I… thank you." Once Severus had satisfied himself the potion was safe and taken it, he sighed and laid his head in his hands. "Earlier, when I flashed back, I remembered the first time Potter—"

Harry shook his head. "Love, unless you really need to discuss it, it might not be a good idea to go into details right before we're planning on sleeping."

Severus hesitated. "To be honest, I am uncertain either way. It may be beneficial to wait, or it may keep that memory too close to the surface."

Harry braced himself. "What do you need to do, love? I'll listen if you need me to."

But gods, he wasn't looking forward to it.

Severus searched his face. "I think, for both of our sakes, it would be best to wait."

Harry squeezed his hand. "You're holding back for me, aren't you?"

Severus nodded. "I find it is difficult to discuss with the bastard's son as well."

Harry grimaced. "It's going to be a problem, isn't it? That I'm his son?"

Severus held Harry's hand tight. "This is where I need you to trust me."

Harry swallowed hard. "Okay."

"The short answer is yes. It _will_ cause problems."

Harry dropped his head and closed his eyes, hoping that would be enough to hold back the sudden welling behind his lids.

Severus held Harry's hand tighter. "Harry, I am not rejecting you. I am saying that overcoming my past with a mate who is the son of my worst abuser will be more difficult than it would be for someone entirely unrelated. That is not saying it is impossible, nor that you have done anything wrong, nor that I am unwilling to do whatever it takes to get us through this. I am only saying that your relation and physical resemblance to my abuser will make recovery a longer, more difficult road than otherwise."

Harry's tears dropped despite his best efforts to hold them back. "I'm so sorry. You never should have had to endure this. Any of it." He shuddered hard. "If you need to leave me, Severus, if you just can't bear the idea of being with me knowing who I am, I won't h-hold you."

Severus brought Harry into his arms and held him tight. "Hush. Never let me hear you suggest such a thing again. That is why I brought this up, Harry. Because I know full well I will have trouble with it over the next few days. There may be moments where I think you are him, or I am too shattered to let you near me, or I may be afraid of you because I cannot see the present clearly. I may say things to you that I am truly directing to him. I may lash out in terror. I do not know how bad it will be, but after holding this in for twenty-five years, I suspect it will be bad indeed."

Severus cradled Harry's head against him. "I do not know what may happen while I am lost in the past and suffering, but I need you to understand that, no matter what the past may draw from me while I am dealing with the worst of its resurgence, I do not wish to reject you. I will _never_ throw you away, do you understand me? I am telling you this now so that you know that no matter how bad my illness gets, no matter what challenges we may face, I want you with me to pull me through it all."

Severus tipped Harry's chin up and brushed his tears away. They soothed him where they touched. Phoenix magic. 

"Please, Harry, take nothing I say or do in the next few days, while my illness is likely to run riot with me, as a rejection. I do not want to come up from a flashback and find… find that his cruelty stole you away from me, too." Severus' voice broke. "I am so damned terrified to hurt you, Harry. Please do not leave me. I do not wish to be a murderer of the one man who has ever treated me like someone worthy of love."

"Sev'rus…." Harry buried his face in his mate's shoulder, taking comfort from his warmth, the scent of his skin, the gentle brush of his breath. Breathing him in for courage, he turned his face enough to speak. "Okay. I promise, love. When you come out on the other side of whatever hell is waiting for us, I swear I'll be right here to put you back together."

Severus gave a shuddering sigh. "Please. I know it is difficult, and I know I have been cruel to you in the past, but I will go mad if my illness kills you. Please stay with me."

Harry nodded against his mate's shoulder. "I promise. It'll be all right. We'll pull you through it together, love."

"I… yes. Yes, we shall."

Harry kissed Severus' cheek and sat up. "Come on. Let's get you up to bed. It'll be easier to heal you now than if I wait."

Severus brushed a tear away. "These. Your tears?"

Harry nodded and guided Severus to his feet. "My blood has physical healing properties, even more so since the unicorn gave me her blood, but my tears are better with healing spiritual and emotional damage, though they are also as good as a phoenix's for poison, as you know too well."

Severus looked over his shoulder and started up the stairs. "Tell me about the unicorn?"

"Later, love. Let's try to get some rest while we can. I have no doubt we'll be stormed with visitors once the Prophet comes round. Since Xeri isn't here, the wards won't block them like they would if he was." Harry grimaced. "Will you be okay with that? I really don't want you to go back to Hogwarts now, but it might be easier for you once the Prophet comes."

"You… I thought we were to face our troubles together from now on?"

Merlin, Severus sounded crushed. Harry rubbed his back and caressed his arm with a wing. "Of course, love. You're right." Harry kissed Severus' hand. "I'm sorry. I was just worried about bombarding you with everyone when you're already on edge."

"I would rather stay with you, Harry."

Harry gave him a soft smile. "Yeah? Brilliant. Stay then. Long as you want. As far as I'm concerned, this is your home as much as mine, and Xeri feels the same."

"My… home?"

"Yeah, love. You're my mate. I want you here always."

Severus stilled, and Harry had to leap down a step so as not to crash into him. "Always?"

Harry gulped. "Er… well, yes, if you want to be."

Severus took a shaky breath. "I have never been so… cherished."

Harry folded one of his wings around Severus and took his hand. "I do cherish you. More every moment, but let's just get you through the day in one piece first, love. We'll talk about it more when we've had some rest and can think clearly."

Severus nodded and ran his fingers gently over Harry's feathers. The sensation left Harry reeling. It wasn't sexual, but so powerful in its ability to soothe, it nearly felt that way. 

"Ooh, Severus, love, you want to be careful with those, I think."

Severus jerked his hand away. "I apologise, Harry. I had thought a gentle touch would not hurt."

"You didn't hurt me. Er… it felt nice. Almost _too_ nice. And I don't want to take advantage."

Severus' ears turned red. "Oh." He continued up the stairs. "At least that is one way to bring you pleasure that has not been ruined for me."

Harry slid his hand into Severus'. "When we're ready, we'll start there then, if you want, but let's not think about that just yet. You have a long road of healing before you before we have that discussion, and I don't want you feeling pressured. We still have plenty of time."

It was true, but with such trauma to overcome, would a year be enough? With a little shiver of foreboding, Harry guided Severus into the bedroom and waited while he climbed under the sheets.

Harry sat beside him, atop the covers. "Are you ready, love? For my healing, I mean."

Severus nodded hesitantly. "I am."

Harry took his hand. "It's okay. You're safe. I'll never hurt you."

Severus' tense shoulders relaxed and the worry lines left his face. "Proceed."

Harry stroked Severus' hair, tracing it back to his ear and starting again at his temple. He focused on every soft, warm feeling he had for his mate, reeling a bit at the intensity of emotion within him.

Protectiveness still dominated his feelings, but since the war, love had grown and spread deep into his core, more than Harry had expected to find after a year with no news of Severus beyond what Minerva and Lucius told him.

Desire was there, too, but both love and protectiveness had muted it and rendered it still, quiet—Harry did find Severus attractive, but he couldn't bear to think of him in sexual terms while he was in so much pain.

Trust had, once again, blossomed bright and true. And pride and admiration glowed nearly as bright as his protective streak. Severus had given him loads of reasons to be proud of him and admire his strength, after all. 

With so many warm emotions, Harry thought he might be able to ease Severus' transition through the worst of his illness, at least to some extent. 

He let his magic flow through his emotions, hovered over Severus' forehead and let his tears fall. Severus gasped as they struck his skin, absorbing where they fell rather than sliding off. Harry dropped seven tears onto his forehead, placed a kiss charged with his love in the centre, and sat up, blinking rapidly.

"How are you feeling, love?"

Severus gave him an awestruck look. "I… I cannot describe it. So… peaceful. Soft. Safe."

Harry traced his hair once more, just to soothe them both. "Good. I hope it helps." 

Severus gave him a grim nod. "So do I."


	6. Into the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First real flashback. PTSD is a bitch.

#  **Chapter 6**

##  _After Dark_

Harry was hanging in Severus' place, naked, suspended by his ankles, and surrounded by monsters where his family once stood, when a sharp scream jolted him out of his nightmares. A strange ache in his chest tugged at him, as if it wanted him to go into the hall, but before his wits caught up with reality, Winky appeared and twisted her hands.

"Master, Master Harry must get up now. Master's mate is in terrible distre—"

Another shriek pierced the night, followed by sobbing.

His mate? But Severus was—

Severus. Shite.

Harry threw off the covers, grabbed a dressing gown just in case his pyjamas weren't enough clothing for Severus, and dashed across the hall. Severus lay tangled in the sheets, back bowed, tears racing down his temples, expression contorted in horror.

"Severus!" Harry cried out to him, hoping he could wake the man without touching him. "Severus, wake up, love! It's just a dream."

Nothing. Tentatively, Harry shook the man's shoulder.

And nearly got his bollocks hexed off for it. 

"Don't _touch_ me, Potter! I'll fucking kill you if you come near me again!"

Severus scrambled away and hunched down on his heels in the corner of the room. He had his sheet wrapped around his shaking form and his wand leveled at Harry's head. 

Shite. This was bad.

Harry held up his hands in a gesture of surrender and slowly went to his knees.

"Severus, lo…." No, pet names were a _bad_ idea right now. Severus didn't recognize him.

Harry swallowed hard and tried again. "Severus, look at me. I'm not James. I—"

"I'm not going to fall for your bullshite this time, Potter! Just get out."

The man was half sobbing. Harry didn't know if he should or could leave his mate in that state, but again, Severus had no idea he was Harry.

And _fuck_ , it hurt. Even though Harry knew Severus would never treat him so viciously if he recognized him, to have the man staring at him with twice the loathing he had ever shown for Harry Potter broke him inside. To know Severus saw him as the man who had broken him hurt like hell.

Tears blurred his vision and his chest ached, but what could he do? Severus didn't see Harry now, he saw his abuser. Considering, maybe the kindest thing he could do was to leave and send in someone who looked less like his rapists. Xerides, maybe.

No, Severus didn't trust him yet. Not with this vulnerable side of himself. Severus wouldn't be happy if Harry sent a night elf warrior in while he was too distraught to defend himself properly.

No, there was really only one choice here. He had to walk out and pray Severus could come to his senses alone.

As Harry stood, covered his face, and turned away, he figured that Severus must have had dreams like this before, when there was no one to help him. Surely he knew how to cope on his own.

The thought did not comfort him much.

"I'm so sorry, love," he whispered and staggered towards the door, wrapping his wings around himself in a vain attempt to ease his pain.

"W-wait… wings?"

Harry froze. A trickle of hope formed in his heart. Maybe, if he could use his non-human features to distinguish himself from his arsehole of a father, it would bring Severus out of the past. It was a chance, anyway.

Harry cautiously spread his wings without turning around. No sudden movements. No approaching without permission. No pet names. Just his wings. It was all he could do until Severus woke up a bit.

"Yes, Severus. I have wings."

"I don't… there aren't any potions or spells to do that. Unless they're false." He snarled. "They must be! Take off your shirt and prove it!"

_'Shite!'_

"Severus, you… you're sure you want me to—?"

"That didn't stop you a minute ago, now did it?"

"Severus, I'm not James Potter. I'm _Harry_ Potter. I'm not your abuser, I'm your… well, I care about you, and I'm scared to hurt you."

"Bollocks! I'll never fall for your lies again, Potter! Shirt off or I hex those false wings right off your foul back."

Fuck. That didn't leave much choice, did it?

Harry prayed he wouldn't set his mate back and carefully dropped his robe to the floor, pulling his wings through the slots on the back with the ease of long practice. He took a deep breath and spelled his t-shirt off. They didn't go on or off without magic now.

He straightened, shaking, and spread his wings again. His feathers trembled.

"Real? I… how? What trick is this?"

"They're sunguard wings, Severus. No trick. You'll hurt me, badly, if you hex them."

Severus paused. "And yet, you are still here."

"Yeah. I won't abandon you when you're terrified. At least, not unless you make me go."

"Why are you doing this? Why not cast your foul spell and be done with it?"

Harry took a chance and turned, revealing his golden eyes and face full of grief. The silvery tears he couldn't stop. His scarred chest and shaking hands.

"I d-don't know the spell, Severus. I didn't invent it. And even if I did know it, I would drink poison sooner than cast it on you."

Severus started a protest. Then his eyes tracked Harry's tears. 

"P-phoenix tears?"

"Sunguard tears, Sev'rus. Though it's close enough."

The wand dropped from Severus' hand. He stared, wide-eyed at Harry. Horror crept into his features and drained the colour from his face.

"H-Harry?"

Harry let out a sob of relief and covered his eyes in a trembling hand. "Yeah. Yeah, it's me, love." He spelled his shirt and dressing gown on and tied the sash. "Are you… _here_ now? Can I come sit with you?"

"I tried to hurt you. I almost cursed your wings off."

"Ssh. You didn't, love. At any rate, I'm a lot faster than I used to be. Turns out that night elves are hellions in the duelling ring. Or Xerides is anyway. You won't hurt me, Sev'rus."

Severus blinked tears down his face. "Do not come in here to wake me again without a shield and your wand on your person."

"All right. Whatever you need to feel safe again. Do you want me to sit with you? Maybe help you back to bed?"

"I do not think I can return to sleep after that."

Harry nodded, chest cold with grief. "Yeah."

Severus wiped his face and staggered to his feet. Harry ached to help him, but wasn't sure his touch or support would be welcomed. 

"Sev, love, it's okay."

Severus froze. "Do not call me that. _Never_ call me that."

Harry winced. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't realise you objected to it. You… you didn't tell me I couldn't use it all the times before, so I thought—"

"Harry, not the pet name. Do not shorten my name in that manner ever again. _Please_."

Harry flinched. "Shite. They used it, didn't they? I was too horrified to hear it, I think. I'm so sorry, love."

Severus sat on the bed and laid his head in shaking hands. "You were unaware. Simply do not use it again. Besides the fact that I cannot bear to hear it, I cannot separate the two of you when you use it."

Harry chewed his lip. "Maybe, if I came up with a name for you that's all my own, do you think it would help you recognize me?"

Severus shrugged. "It could not hurt, I suppose, but simply dropping the middle syllable of my name will not do. I have heard it before."

From his tone, it didn't come under pleasant circumstances either.

"Damn. Right. Let me think. Maybe… if I reversed it. Turn the darkness to light, so to speak."

Severus gave him a blank look.

"Er… Ves, I mean. Would that hurt you?"

Severus paused. "Ves. It is certainly unique to you."

"Might I use it, then? See if it helps when you're lost in the past?"

"I doubt it would have much effect until I learn to associate it with myself, even subconsciously, but you may use it."

"I will then. A lot. So you get used to hearing it."

Severus nodded and wiped his face. "Are you well, Harry? Did I hurt you?"

Harry edged closer. "It hurt to be seen as…."

"Merlin, I am sorry. I was entirely lost to the past until I remembered your tears."

"Fawkes?"

Severus nodded tersely.

"It's okay, Ves. Well, not _okay_. I bloody well hate that you're suffering like this, but I know you can't help it. It hurt, but I'm not angry or anything. I just hope the name and this memory helps you break through sooner next time. Maybe I'll call Fawkes in to help next time, too."

Severus shuddered. "I might have seriously injured you."

Harry shook his head. "You were in the mindset of your teenage self, love. You were powerful at sixteen, but not powerful enough to fight a night elf battlemaster and not come out in pieces. If you fall into that state again, I'll be able to protect us both, and I'll be better prepared to cope with it next time regardless."

"I… I hope you are right."

"Yeah. Me too." Harry glanced to his wristwatch. "Love, it's nearly lunchtime. Are you hungry?"

"I am still rather shaken, but perhaps I am able to manage something light."

Harry nodded. "I'll get dressed in a moment and ask Winky. In the meantime, would it help to talk about your nightmares and the flashback you had yesterday, or do you think it would make things worse?"

Severus hugged his chest. "I most likely need to speak of it, but I… it hurts you."

"Yeah, it does, but I want to be here for you, Ves. I want to help you bear your burdens and slog through this. So I want you to talk to me about it, if you need to talk."

Severus sighed. "Go get dressed and speak to your elves. I will feel safer speaking of it in more clothing."

"Sure thing, love." Harry wanted to soothe him, somehow, but refrained. He would let Severus have the choice of when to touch him again. In the meantime, he had a meal to arrange.

Harry gave him a sorrowful little smile and left his mate to recover his wits.

Severus called for him at the door. "Harry. Thank you."

Reassured, Harry gave him a warm smile. "You're welcome, Ves."


	7. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, my mental health is piss poor right now. I barely pulled through this week. Wednesday was the closest I've come to the edge in years. Writing helps, but it's difficult to focus with my depression at this level of suck. Just a heads up I'm having trouble responding to comments and keeping up with chapters atm.

#  **Chapter 9**

##  _Settling In_

Talking about his nightmares and flashbacks had relieved Severus, and it had also hurt like hell. After twenty years of forced silence, Merlin, he _needed_ to talk, and yet, watching his stories rip Harry to pieces left him hollow and aching.

He would have to owl Mediwitch Lewis first thing. Much as Harry wanted to be there for him and much as Severus wanted him to be, the specifics of his past simply hurt him too much. If Severus continued to unload the burden of his grief upon Harry, he would break him, fast.

Maybe he already had done. Harry hadn't touched him since before his nightmare had scarred them both, and it left a void in Severus' soul. Perhaps before he had known what the warmth of Harry's arms felt like, he wouldn't have missed it, but now, every part of his spirit ached to be held. To be safe again.

Had Severus' pain driven Harry away? If Severus kept lashing out, even when the past wouldn't let him see Harry rather than his demon of a father, would Harry leave him altogether?

No. That was simply his insecurity and fear talking. Harry _couldn't_ leave him.

Then again, perhaps a Sunguard mate bond wouldn't let Harry leave, but it didn't imply that he had to love his partner either. Harry could stay out of obligation rather than affection and desire, and that would hurt Severus just as much. 

Gods, he had no idea what to do. He couldn't control his reaction to flashbacks. Not well, at any rate. It would be different if Severus had the type that let him see reality through the mirror of the past, but that morning, all he had seen was James Potter, hovering over him with a look of malicious glee. And that after dreaming of choking on the bastard's filthy cock while Pettigrew brutally raped him from behind, with no care to his comfort or safety. He hadn't seen anything but his rapist getting ready for another round when he still felt raw and torn open and bleeding, both emotionally and physically. Of course, he hadn't been truly hurt—not in the present day, at any rate—nor had Harry tried to hurt him, but he couldn't help the visceral, soul-deep terror that took him over whenever the past sunk its claws in too deep. 

Severus didn't know how to restrain his defensive nature in the midst of such misery and fear. Yet, would fighting back cost him everything?

He hadn't known what it meant to be comforted physically until Harry held his hand the first time. He hadn't felt safe in so long, he had forgotten what it felt like, until Harry held him while he cried and didn't hold his grief against him. 

He had never known what it meant to have a true ally until Harry. The sunguard had protected and stood by him through everything over the past three years, and Severus was falling in love with him more by the day. 

But that was before Severus had threatened to hex Harry's wings off, wasn't it?

Gods. He had gone for decades without a single caring touch, without the slightest measure of true affection, and he had never yielded to his secret need to be loved once. He had never shown weakness, never wept, never asked anyone to hold him until Harry came into his life and showed him love without judgment. He had survived entirely on his own for so long, but he didn't think he could return to that bitter, lonely existence now that he knew what it meant to be safe in Harry's arms. 

Would he have a choice? Had his flashbacks and fury at the father ruined every chance of finding a home with the son?

"Ves?"

Harry's voice jolted Severus out of his thoughts, but it took him a moment to realize Harry was talking to him.

"Oh. Yes?"

Harry gave him a searching look full of deep concern. "Love, are you all right?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. 

Harry chuckled and flushed. He rubbed a hand through his hair and settled it at the back of his neck.

"Stupid question. Sorry. I just meant… you seem afraid. And sad. Is it all down to the flashbacks and trauma, love, or is there something else wrong?"

If Harry still wanted to call him those sweet endearments, he couldn't have withdrawn his affections entirely. The thought took the edge off of Severus' pain, but his fears remained.

Why had Harry stopped touching him? Holding him? Severus had never dreamed he would _want_ to be touched, but he missed the safety of Harry's arms like a lost limb. 

Why had Harry withdrawn his affection just when Severus was beginning to trust that it would never be stolen from him, like every other source of happiness and safety in his life?

"Ves? Love, what is it? What's wrong?"

At least Harry still cared. Severus could cope with that, perhaps.

But he didn't want to.

He stared at his half-eaten plate of grilled salmon and asparagus and tried to find a way to reach out, to ask for Harry not to be so distant, but the possibility of being rejected wouldn't let him open his mouth. "Ves…." Harry's voice echoed with grief and trembled in fear. "Love, you would… tell me if I had done something wrong, wouldn't you?"

Severus gave him a wry look. "Harry. Heed whom you are asking."

Severus' dry tone brought the light of mirth back to Harry's eyes. 

"Yeah, all right. Fair enough." He hesitated. "But still, you do know you can ask me if you need me? Or anything? I… I don't want you to suffer on alone anymore, Ves. Please trust me."

A wave of relief left Severus trembling in its wake. "I… I do trust you, Harry. You are the only one I trust with the hidden parts of me. I am only frightened, I suppose."

Harry nodded, his eyes dark with sorrow. "Yeah. Trust has never been safe for you, so I get that." He gave Severus a sad smile. "But I don't want to hurt you, Ves. I can't bear seeing you in pain. I haven't been able to bear it for a long time now."

Severus swallowed against a sudden tightness in his throat and blinked hard. "I… yes. I know. Forgive me." 

"Nothing to forgive, love. I'm just worried about you."

He stared at the table and realized Harry hadn't eaten much either. He truly was worried then. The thought gave Severus the courage to speak, if only a little.

"I fear I do not know how to ask for what I need," he said, voice barely above a whisper. "It has never been safe to ask before now, and I… the prospect is… daunting."

"Oh." Harry sounded relieved. "Oh, I think I understand now, love. Don't worry, okay? It'll be all right, soon."

Severus knew Harry couldn't truly promise that, and yet, his willingness to offer him comfort did ease his fears, somewhat.

He nodded and tried a bite of salmon, but it had gone cold while he fretted in silence. He wasn't much hungry anyway.

"Harry, I think I will—"

He cut himself off as a fluffy white owl flew in through the post window and settled on the table beside Harry, newspaper clutched in her talons. Ron and Hermione must have kept it back so it didn't trouble them as soon as they woke.

"Oh, hello there, Hedwig. Thank you, girl. Help yourself."

Harry pushed his plate at his owl. Hedwig happily started on the salmon.

He picked up the note atop the paper. "Xeri says the paper came as soon as he went downstairs earlier, and he took it with him to give us a few moments of peace. Good of him." He laid the note aside and picked the paper up with a grimace. "Well, let's just see what the damage is, yeah?"

Severus closed his fist around his fork and gave him a terse nod. With a deep breath, Harry opened the paper and shoved it away with a huff a few seconds later. "Well, I'm out, officially. At least you aren't in it, as far as I could see."

"Did you read more than a few sentences?"

"Er… no. Can't stomach it."

Severus snorted. "Let me see it then."

Harry passed him the paper and watched Severus read, expression tense.

The headline read: _Harry Potter: Sunguard Gone Mad?_ Below it, a picture took up half of the article space, revealing the cemetery at Godric's Hollow ablaze with holy fire and shielded in a dome of light, with a solitary winged figure silhouetted against the glow. 

The article beneath ran much as Severus had expected. It identified Harry as a sunguard, explained that his relation to the phoenix was the reason why Riddle had never managed to kill him, and went on in a similar vein to the auror who had professed her fears of Harry going dark in the cemetery the night before. The paper claimed threats of potential evil lurking from the battle and too much strain breaking Harry's moral code. 

Yes, par for the course for the Prophet.

"This is nothing terrible, Harry. There is no mention of me at all, and a simple presentation of _most_ of the facts concerning sunguards will clear up the sensationalist spin on this. It could have been much worse."

Harry sighed. "Still, the public knows what I am now."

"That was bound to happen after last night. This makes no mention of your weaknesses in me, so in that, at least, we are safe from the ignorant."

"I doubt most of the people who want me dead _are_ ignorant, love."

Severus doubted it, too. "Perhaps, but as they do not know your mate's identity and shan't know anytime soon, their knowledge of sunguard traits will do them little good."

"True." Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Let Hermione handle the PR on that rubbish. She'll have it cleared up faster than anyone else could do, and you can't vouch for me without putting us both at risk."

"Fair enough." Severus put the paper aside to finish later. "There is little else we can do about that for now then."

"Yeah." Harry stood and banished the plates to the sink. "Do you want to read the rest of that? I've some work to do upstairs for the clothing line, then maybe we can work on my commissions together if you want."

Severus had to have misunderstood. "You want me to work on clothing with you?"

Harry snorted. "Merlin, no. The síoda make all the clothing. I just run the financial side of the company. No, I meant _Solaris'_ commissions."

Severus smiled. "In that case, I am glad to assist."

"Thanks, love. I'll see you in a bit then. Send one of the síoda after me if you need me."

"Yes." Severus picked up the paper again and flushed at a gentle kiss to his cheek. Merlin. Having such a gentle, affectionate presence in his life would take some getting used to, he supposed. 

Harry smoothed Severus' hair back and stroked his cheek. "Are you all right?"

Severus brushed his lips across Harry's palm, and Harry turned pink, too.

"I am well enough, Harry. Go to work. I will be here or in the study when you are finished with your analysis."

Harry smiled. "Brilliant. See you then, love." With another brush against Severus' cheek, he walked away. 

Severus smiled to himself as his mate left the kitchen. They certainly had their troubles to overcome, but overall, he thought he would be happy here, someday.

Merlin, how much his life had changed since Harry had come into it. Severus found he didn't mind in the least, either.

* * *

Xerides returned that evening around dinnertime, not that he imagined he would be welcome for long. He followed the sound of voices and the smell of cooking seafood and garlic to the kitchen. 

Harry said, "—And then Ron just sort of… shimmied away, but Xerides caught him by the belt. It broke, and he ended up standing around in his smalls." 

From the shadows, Xerides watched Harry stir a pot of creamy sauce. Alfredo, perhaps, or carbonara. 

"Then, he just strutted around, easy as you please, kicked his trousers aside, and tackled poor Xeri. That was the only time Ron ever won against him, and only because Xeri was too busy blushing and stammering to work out that Ron has absolutely no shame and never has. Too many brothers for that."

Severus smiled at Harry's laughter. "Merlin. Xerides had a bit of a shock, hm?"

"Oh, yes. Stunned him senseless. Never happens in the battlefield though. He's damned dangerous with a bow in his hand. And a sword. And daggers. And with nothing at all."

Severus cocked his head. "Do you keep up your training?"

"Xeri never stops. It's his job. He's a trainer for all the races. Well, except humans. As for me, yeah. I like training with him."

"Hm. I should like to see it."

"We'll have a match tonight if he has nowhere to be then. He's been training for the goblins again lately, so he might be too busy."

"Ah." Severus crossed his arms over his chest. "Tonight. Merlin. I am afraid to sleep."

Harry stirred a pan of shrimp and went to his mate. "I'll be here to help you through it, love." The sunguard folded Severus in his wings and kissed his forehead.

Xerides turned away and tried to stifle a bolt of sharp anguish. Harry needed his mate, and Severus needed Harry. 

Xerides only wished they still needed _him_ , too.

He blinked hard and occluded his pain away. He had known this would happen. From the start, Harry had loved and longed for his mate, even if he had trouble admitting it. Xerides had had over a year to prepare for this day.

And yet, even if he had had a century to prepare, the elf knew losing Harry, Severus, and his home would still rip the soul from him.

Perhaps he should write Torasi and ask him to come home. Xerides would need his cousin's support and experience to survive, at least with his soul intact.

When he turned back, Severus was rubbing his chest and frowning. Harry had returned to the range, or he might have voiced concern.

"Severus?" Xerides stepped into the kitchen, ears low. "Are you well?"

Severus nodded and let his hand fall. "Perhaps I am simply more hungry than I supposed. Harry, is there anything I can do to assist?"

Harry nocked his head towards the cold box. "I'm nearly finished, but you could wedge a lemon and chop a sprig of parsley for me."

Severus nodded and, after washing his hands, removed a lemon and fresh parsley from the produce drawer. Xerides placed a cutting board for him and pointed out the knife block, and Severus started on the lemon. 

Xerides examined the sauce, fettuccine, vegetables, and shrimp Harry had going with an approving smile. "Shrimp carbonara? It looks lovely. Would you like me to drain the pasta, Harry?"

Harry nodded. "And beat an egg for me, please."

"Of course." 

After washing up, Xerides removed the pot of boiling pasta and carried it to the counter. Severus had already summoned the colander and set it in the sink for him.

"Tèthána" Xerides poured the water into the colander, reserving a little for Harry's sauce. 

Severus summoned a saucer for the lemon and levitated it to the counter beside the cooker. "Tèthána?"

"Elvish for 'thank you.'" Xerides returned the pot to the range. Harry had already turned off the hob and cooled it. "Here you are, Harry."

"Tèthána, va tèlói." Harry stirred a little leftover water into the sauce until it had the consistency he liked. "That means 'my friend,' Ves."

Severus washed the parsley and set it on the cutting board. "You speak Elvish, Harry?"

Harry nodded. "I've some work yet before I'm fluent, but Xeri's taught me a lot. We train in Elvish, usually. Our battle commands—well, it gives us a distinct advantage to use a language few humans comprehend."

"It would at that." Severus rubbed his chin. "Teach me?"

"Jèta, va sèlá. 'Yes, my love.'"

Severus smiled a little. "Tèthána."

"Gová vélthìr, Ves. That means 'well done.' Well, literally, it means 'good work,' but that's what it translates to."

"Ah. Fascinating." Severus slid the finished parsley into place beside the lemon. 

"Jèta, va sèlá."

Xerides stirred a bit of olive oil and a sprinkle of parsley into the pasta, leaving the rest of the herbs for Harry. "Ves?"

Severus flushed pink. "Yes. Harry made the name for me in hopes of helping me recognise him through flashbacks sooner."

"Ah. A good idea." Xerides gathered plates and glasses from the cabinets, and Severus guided them to the table. "Thank you." He let Severus carry on setting the table and opened a bottle of white wine instead. "Harry, Hermione finished her rebuttal of the Prophet's claims before lunch. I imagine the Prophet will regret this round of sensationalism far more than usual before she is done with them."

Harry snorted. "I believe it. She lives for this, Ves. Fighting injustice and corruption is her bread and butter. She's damn good at it, too." He tipped the pan of vegetables into his shrimp and stirred them. "I daresay she'll have Skeeter running for the hills before breakfast."

Xerides chuckled and set about beating Harry's egg. "Jèta. This time, however, Hermione is not the only one baying for her blood." 

Severus gave him a curious look. "The public?"

"Yes, and the goblins."

Harry dropped his spatula. "The _goblins_? But they don't usually concern themselves in human affairs."

"Yes, but you are not human, Harry, and you _are_ a well-known warrior and defender of being rights." Xerides set the egg beside Harry. "Shall I finish the sauce?"

"Go on then, but I don't understand. What does my being a warrior have to do with anything?"

"They respect warriors, Harry, and even more so warriors who respect them." Xerides removed the sauce from the heat and whisked in the egg. "And there is also the fact that the goblins are aware that I live with you and we are good friends. That, even more than your fame as a warrior, is what has secured their loyalty."

Severus set a pitcher of ice water on the table beside the wine, probably to avoid his pitfalls with alcoholism. "Indeed? The goblins have a good relationship with you, Xerides?"

Xerides inclined his head. "I have trained their warriors for quite some time now. They know and respect me well and go out of their way to protect me. Anyone who cares for me and guards me as well as Harry and his friends have done, they protect, too."

Harry summoned a serving bowl and transferred the shrimp and vegetables into it. "So what are they doing then?"

Xerides grinned, a dark sight. "They have demanded a full retraction as well as Rita Skeeter's head as well as the editor's. Quite literally. Of course, they made it clear they would settle for their resignation. _This time_."

" _Merlin_ ," said a wide-eyed Harry. "I can hardly believe it. Do you think the Prophet will cave though? They never listened before?"

"Oh, they will," said Severus with a smirk. "The Goblins control their vaults. Tonight's paper will, no doubt, contain a retraction and an announcement of Skeeter's 'retirement,' count on that."

Harry laughed and dished the pasta into a serving bowl. "Serve the bastards right. Bet they'll think twice now before publishing rubbish against me from now on."

"Most assuredly," Xerides agreed.

Harry set the sauce on the table and pulled a pan of golden-brown twists from the range. "Winky, Dobby, Kreacher," he called, "I have fresh garlic twists right out of the cooker if you want some."

The síoda popped in, each with grins on their faces and saucers in hand. Harry grinned and dished out two twists to each, along with small ramekins of the herb butter sauce they all loved with them.

"There you are."

Winky beamed. "Thank you, Master Harry. They is smelling so good."

Harry smiled. "You're welcome. Would you like to eat with us? There's plenty of food."

The síoda shook their heads.

"We is thinking Masters need this time to talk," said Kreacher. "And we is liking our own place."

Harry chuckled. "Go on then. I only wanted you to know you were welcome with us."

"Thank you, Master Harry," said Dobby. "We is happy to eat upstairs, though."

"Fair enough. Enjoy your treats then."

The síoda bowed and popped away, and Harry levitated the rest of the meal to the table, including a fresh green salad from the cold box. "We're ready to eat, I think."

Severus levitated the condiment tray to the table and gave the spot the síoda had vanished from a curious look. "It looks lovely, but where do your síoda eat, Harry?"

"Sometimes here, but we organised the third floor west wing into a flat for them. They have a síoda-sized dining room there, and they love it. They'll take any excuse to eat there."

Severus poured wine for Harry and Xerides, pausing before he poured a glass for himself as well. "You are good to your síoda."

"Yes. They're friends and family, not slaves." Harry grabbed a pair of tongs. "All right. Let's eat before this gets cold. Ves?"

Severus nodded and offered his plate. Harry served him, then Xerides and himself, and the three settled down to eat. 

As Xerides nibbled his food, he wondered if this was the last meal he would prepare beside Harry. The last time he would eat dinner in the home he loved. The thought turned his chest into a void, but he kept his pain well-hidden. 

This was the way it had to be. Even if Xerides knew losing this would crush everything vital from his spirit. Harry needed Severus, and Severus needed Harry.

They had no room left for him.

* * *

Severus watched Xerides and Harry out of the corner of his eye. Xerides' ears drooped lower with every bite, and though the elf had tried to hide his grief, Severus knew he wasn't the only one to sense it.

Harry set down his fork. "Xeri, are you okay?"

Xerides jumped. "Ah? Oh. Yes, I am well."

Harry's concern did not diminish in the least. "Va tèlói, will you please talk to me? Tell me what's hurting you? I can't stand to see you in so much pain."

The elf shook his head as if he might deny it, then gave up with a slump. "I cannot, Harry. Forgive me."

Harry sighed and squeezed his hand. "You… you _do_ know I care?"

Xerides closed his eyes. "I do. It helps, a little." But his ears brushed his shoulders as he said it.

"But…."

Xerides shook his head. "I am well enough. We—"

A fat brown owl flew through the window, paper in tow. Xerides took it with the practise of long-standing habit and paid the owl. He offered her a shrimp, washed clean of garlic and spices, and the owl took it with a hoot and a nuzzle of his cheek. How long had Xerides done this that the owls knew to come straight to him and had a friendly bond with him?

Xerides took the paper and shook it out. "Let us see here. Ah, brilliant. ' _The Truth of Sunguards._ We at the Daily Prophet would like to apologise for the gross misrepresentation of sunguards printed on the front page of this morning's publication. The reporter responsible for publishing such misinformation has resigned. Una Dempsey will now provide feature stories for the Daily Prophet."

"Hm. I know Una," said Severus. "One of my house. A practical, shrewd woman. Also one of Slytherin's few half-bloods and a woman of honour. With any luck, we should not have further trouble from the Prophet, so long as we keep our heads down."

"A wise plan." Xerides set the paper aside and resumed eating. "And, speaking of, do you have a safe place to stay, Severus?"

"Of course. I have my quarters at…." Severus stilled and dropped his gaze. 

Hogwarts had never been safe.

"Well, there is Spi…."

No. His childhood home had never been safe either.

"I, I will think of something."

Harry set his fork down, eyes dark with fear and concern. "Severus, I'd like you to stay here, if you feel safe enough. I can't stand the thought of sending you back to Hogwarts."

Severus flinched. "I am unsure I am ready to—it is rather sudden."

"You can keep your suite, love. I'll even ward it so no one—not even me—can enter without your consent. I won't ask for any further commitment. I only want you to stay where I can keep you safe."

Severus hesitated. "But, Xerides?"

Xerides gave him a wan smile. "You are Harry's mate, Severus. You belong here, and I have always known that."

Severus' heart thrummed. _'You belong here.'_

He had never belonged anywhere.

"Thank you." His voice came out rough. He swallowed several times and blinked down a surge of emotion. "If… if you are truly willing to ward my rooms, I am happy to stay."

"We will need to place an override so Harry can reach you if you are injured or in distress, but there is no need to go to the trouble of warding Severus' rooms." Xerides' ears fell and his eyes glimmered. "Mine… mine are already warded against intrusion. You are welcome to them."

Harry froze. "X-Xeri?"

"You will want your own space now." Xerides stared at the table and spoke in a careful, measured tone that revealed his pain as clearly as if he had wept. "I will be well enough in the Night Forest from now on."

"Xeri!" Harry ran to him and grabbed his face. " _No_. I am _not_ letting you leave. This house is huge. There's plenty of room for three." He switched to Elvish, but Severus understood through the thoughts screaming in his ears. "No. I need you. Please, please don't leave. You're my best friend, and I love you. Stay. Please."

Severus wondered that Harry's clear devotion and declaration didn't spur him to jealousy, but then again, he had little reason to worry. His bond to Harry couldn't be broken, and Harry showed his devotion to Severus in every breath, too. No. His mate's bond to his night elf companion did not threaten Severus' bond to his mate.

And Severus trusted Xerides regardless.

Tears glinted in Xerides' moonlight glow. "Harry, Severus will not want a stranger here. I—"

"Not so, Xerides," Severus said, voice steady and firm. "You are not a stranger. I consider you an ally and a friend, if a new one, and I do want you to stay."

Xerides gasped, eyes wide. "You… you truly…?"

"Yes. This is your home, Xerides, and Harry needs you. Besides that, I need your help in gathering enough solar moondew for whatever fate awaits us in the autumn. And I find I rather like your company. So, do not leave on my account."

Xerides' tears dropped, and the elf covered his face with a shaking hand. "Fates. Oh, fates. I thought—I was _certain_ …."

Harry rubbed the elf's hair. "Is this why you've been so desolate lately? Because you thought you would have to leave?"

Xerides shuddered. "I… Diana above, I can hardly believe you truly want me here."

Harry squeezed his shoulder. "We do. So no more talk of moving back to the forest, okay? This is where you belong."

By the way Xerides' breath hitched and his aura shimmered with wonder, Severus had the impression that Xerides hadn't had a place to belong before either, or at least not often. Well, they would be that place for each other now. 

The idea left Severus' chest fuzzy and warm and his heart full. He had a _home_. A safe, happy home with people he cared for and admired. 

It was about damn time.

"So, will you stay, Xerides?"

The elf wiped his face and gave him a quiet smile. "I will. Tèthána, va tèlosí. I am happy to be so welcomed."

Harry patted his shoulder and returned to his seat. "Thank Merlin. Don't terrify me like that again, Xeri. And eat your dinner."

Xerides chuckled, a sound full of soft wonder, and resumed his meal. Severus returned to his food as well, and they passed the rest of the meal in companionable conversation.

Harry passed around honey biscuits and tea for dessert, and Severus read the paper while he nibbled on the mildly-sweet, buttery treats. 

"This retraction is excellent," he said after awhile. "They corrected all the sensationalist tripe and left out any mention of your weaknesses in me. This should satisfy the goblins and your raving public, Harry."

Harry grimaced. "Good. No mention of you?"

"None whatsoever. Una presented the facts in a clear, concise manner and left out all speculation. It's quite refreshing to see such a well-done story in the Prophet, actually."

Harry gave a sigh and slumped into his seat. "So maybe my press issues are over now, for the most part."

"This does give me hope to that end." Severus turned the page and skimmed the headlines. "I am relieved to know…." He trailed off, staring at an announcement halfway down the page, sandwiched between the Weird Sisters' latest album release and the Quidditch World Circuit scores.

_"Crime reported at the DMLE between the hours of 7 and 8 this morning. No further information is available at this time, but early reports indicate an attack of some sort. More to come as details are released."_

"Ves? Are you okay?"

Severus swallowed a surge of foreboding and smoothed the hair on his arms down. Coincidence. It had to be coincidence.

Right?

"I am well enough. It seems the Wimbledon Wasps beat the Cannons, five-hundred and sixty to twenty. Ron will be pleased."

Harry chuckled and returned to his biscuits. Xerides watched Severus a bit longer, his aura heavy with concern. Severus pretended not to see.


	8. Growing Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is finally happy, but trouble hovers on the horizon.

#  **Chapter 8**

##  _Growing Bonds_

Harry watched, shields up and wand clenched in his fist, as coherence and consciousness trickled in to Severus' panicked expression. The wild, fury-charged terror bled from his eyes and guilt and shame crept in. Fawkes, singing from the top of Severus' wardrobe aided in his recovery.

"H-Harry?"

Harry let his shields fall and slumped against the nearest wall. His voice came out thin and weary. "Yes, love. It's just me."

Severus dropped onto his bed and tugged his knees to his chest. "I… I am sorry."

Harry sat beside him, leaving space in case Severus hadn't recovered enough to bear his touch, and laid his hand, palm up, near Severus' legs. The man would take it when he wanted to. 

"It's all right, Ves. You already warned me things would be rough. I just wish my looks didn't make it so hard on you to break free of the past."

Severus laid a shaking hand in Harry's. "Forgive me. It is so difficult to see beyond my memories. Even your wings are not always enough to break through."

Harry nodded and dragged his free hand over his face. "I hope the name helps soon, because my appearance is just making it too hard for you to recover." He suppressed a surge of grief and guilt and rested his head against his palm. "If I knew how to make it easier…."

Severus' head bowed. "Forgive me. I do not know either."

Harry rubbed Severus' fingers. "Shh. It's not your fault, Ves. You have nothing to apologise for. It's just hard to watch you suffer and be so helpless. I… it's even worse to know _why_."

Severus flinched. "I do not intend to hurt you."

"I know, love. I know. It isn't you. You're doing everything you can to make this work. It's my family who hurt us both, and I don't know how to overcome that when you can't see past my genes to the person I am, at least not when the past has control of your mind. It's not your fault. I just wish I could take your pain away, and I don't know how."

With halting motions, Severus turned towards Harry and rested his head on the sunguard's shoulder. "You are taking it away. It is only that there is so much to overcome."

"I know, va selá." Harry stayed still until Severus relaxed against him and pressed closer. "I won't give up." Carefully, he eased his fingers to Severus' hair, and when the man only turned into his touch, Harry smoothed his mussed waves and tucked them behind his ear. "Shh. Even if this is difficult for a long time, I won't stop trying." He draped his head over Severus'. "I'm only terrified it won't be enough. That even with everything I can possibly do, it won't be enough to help you past this."

Severus wrapped Harry in his arms and pulled him close. "I could not bear this two months ago."

Harry let slip a shuddering breath. "T-true."

Severus pressed his head into Harry's throat briefly. "You _are_ healing me, Harry. Your devotion has already done so much." He sat and rubbed his face. "But neither is it fair to place the entire burden of my recovery on you, particularly since my memories are just as painful for you to endure." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Forgive me. I will do all I can to help relieve the burden, starting with a note to Mediwitch Lewis." He dragged himself to his feet. "And, if nothing else, I will alternate nights with Dreamless Sleep so we might, at least, have a few moments without nightmares." 

Harry gave him a hesitant smile. "Yeah? That sounds good. Here." He summoned a Dawn Elixir and handed it to his mate. "Drink it and write your letter. Fawkes helps Xeri during the day in case he runs out of energy or needs help, but he should still be able to carry it for you when you're done. Or Hedwig can." 

Fawkes trilled a happy reply. 

Severus nodded to the bird. "Thank you."

Harry rubbed Severus' shoulder. "I'm going to freshen up and start breakfast. I'll send my own letter later."

"I will simply tell her that we are both in need of aid. No need for two letters with the same message when she must have quite a caseload already with the war just behind us." Severus squeezed Harry's hand. "Go refresh yourself and make sure Xerides is recovering well."

Harry kissed Severus' hair and brushed his hand down the man's cheek. "Of course, love. Call me if you need me?"

"Jèta."

Harry grinned. "Gová vèlthír. You'll have Elvish down in a month, knowing you."

Severus snorted. "Perhaps not quite _that_ quickly."

"We'll see." 

Harry rubbed his shoulder once more and left him to his letter. A sigh escaped him just past the door. Merlin, last night had left them both shattered. Ten flashbacks in one night. Poor Severus.

Harry hoped with all his being the mediwitch could help. Severus deserved peace.

* * *

The rich aroma of a full English enticed Severus' appetite out of hiding, and he followed the scent and sounds of voices, both low and high-pitched, to the kitchen. Harry and Xerides sat at the table, mugs of some kind of herbal tea in hand, and watched the síoda flit about with expressions somewhere between guilt and wry amusement. Ron and Hermione had come by as well, and both gave him a warm smile as he walked in. 

"Morning, sir," Ron said with a wave. "We won't hang about long. We just wanted to check up on you and Harry."

Hermione nodded. "How are you doing? You look a bit happier since we saw you last."

Severus inclined his head. "I… there is… much to heal, but I am making progress towards that end. Harry has been a great help, and Xerides."

The elf's ears, perpetually at a half-down position as of late, perked up a bit. "I have? Oh, that is good. I will keep trying."

Severus nodded and frowned at the table. Harry and Xerides had left a seat open between them, but sitting in such close quarters always made Severus nervous.

Hermione stood and gave him a warm smile. "Ron and I will make ourselves scarce. We just wanted to make sure you were okay. Or at least on your way there."

Severus lowered his head to hide a rush of wonder and gratitude. "Thank you, Madam Granger-Weasley."

"Oh, do call me Hermione, please. You're my brother's partner. No need for such formality, unless, of course, you're uncomfortable with using my first name."

Severus' stomach jolted at the truth of that statement. Hermione and Ron would, by their bond to his mate, be his in-laws someday, or close enough to it. In light of that, his wariness felt out of place. He might not know them well outside of the classroom, but this group would be his core family soon. They cared for him, and they had all helped and stood by him in their own way.

No. He had no need to distrust them. At least, not with something so simple as a name.

"Hermione, then." Severus folded himself into the seat between Harry and the elf. "And you may call me Severus."

Hermione beamed. "Thank you, Severus." She guided her husband to his feet and led him to the doorway. "We'll let you enjoy your breakfast in peace. We already ate anyway."

"Winky is sending a plate over for Master Ron and bringing Mistress Hermione some cherry-vanilla scones once the Masters have eaten," said Winky with a grin.

Ron chuckled. "Won't say no to that! Thank you, Winky." He smiled at Severus. "I really am glad you're home, Severus."

Severus swallowed a rush of emotion. _Home_.

Harry laced his fingers with Severus'. " _Lúzan rézi, va sèlá_. Welcome home, my love."

Severus clung to his hand and squeezed tears back. "T-thank you. All of you. Truly."

"You're welcome," said Hermione, smile bright.

The Granger-Weasleys bid them goodbye and left. In the lull, Severus leaned against Harry's side and took comfort from the familiarity of his embrace. 

"I am happy to be here, too," he murmured, afraid to speak too loudly for fear of tempting fate. 

"We is all happy." Dobby set a plate of fresh fruit down before Harry. "We is worrying for Master Severus for a long time, and now you is finally being home."

Kreacher set a plate of rashers next to the eggs. "Kreacher, too, is wanting you here for two years, so we is able to keep you safe and so our Masters can be happy."

Their masters, plural? Severus glanced to Xerides. Did _he_ want him there? He had been so terrified the night before.

Xerides' ears dropped, but his expression stayed gentle and open. "Yes, I wanted you home, too, Severus."

A flicker of cold anguish gripped Severus' chest, but it vanished so soon, he barely had time to register it. Odd. He had felt something similar last night, too, before Xerides came in for dinner. Perhaps he should see a healer if it continued.

"I… truly?"

Xerides closed his eyes and spoke in a soft, quiet tone. "Yes. I was afraid, as you know, and perhaps I still am, but I want you here anyway. Harry needs you, and I, too, want you to be happy and safe."

His aura never flickered. Xerides had spoken the truth.

Severus occluded hard against a wave of powerful emotion. His voice wavered anyway. "Thank you. I can hardly fathom…." His voice broke, and he could say nothing more.

Harry smoothed Severus' hair and folded his wing around his mate's back. "It's all right, love. You're safe here." He kept up his soothing touches even as he directed the focus away from Severus. "So the only thing of interest in the paper was the follow-up on sunguards, Xeri?"

The elf gave Severus a look full of understanding, then turned his attention to Harry. "For the most part. Today's story delved further into the historical and racial proofs that sunguards are both protected under the law and biologically incapable of attacks upon the innocent. Madam Una is arguing our case most efficiently, and she has done nothing but state verifiable facts. Her reports will be of immense aid to us."

Harry huffed. "About damn time the Prophet published something worth the paper its printed on."

"Indeed," said Severus. "Was there anything else of note?"

"No, not much. There is a mention of the Ministry declining to comment on a crime at the DMLE yesterday, but there is nothing new in that. The Ministry has always lied to protect its own interests." 

Severus stiffened. "A crime…?

Xerides frowned and checked the paper. "Ah, this does not give details as to the particular crime. It only mentions a probable attack."

Shudders crept across Severus' skin. His breath stilled and his fingers tightened around Harry's. 

Something was _wrong_. He had no idea what, but something had set every cell in his body on alert.

Severus closed his eyes and pushed it aside. _No_. He had lived through enough hell. Damned if he would let more trouble invade the only peace he had ever known. The only place he had ever been welcome.

They had good wards here. They would be safe.

Right?

Well, perhaps he wouldn't go amiss in checking the wards himself and adding his own power to them. That, surely, would be enough to keep any threat at bay. The creeping sensation eased, but a sense of worry remained. 

"Here you are, Masters," said Kreacher. "We is looking forward to our first meal with all of our family here and safe."

The síoda's emotional greeting drove all thoughts of worries unknown from Severus' mind. It would be fine. He would just take care to reinforce the wards and warn his housemates to be careful, and all would be well. 

This time, he would make sure of it.

* * *

After breakfast, Severus found himself at loose ends. Harry had offered him the use of his lab or library to entertain himself while he worked on the fashion business with his friends, but Severus had a better idea. Xerides had put up a valiant front, but Severus sensed the elf's fear and uncertainty in every breath. A little time spent getting to know his new housemate and colleague might go some way to reassuring him, Severus hoped.

"Xerides, perhaps you might give me a tour of the greenhouses instead? If it is safe for you during the daylight hours, of course."

Xerides' ears fanned back, and a look of shy wonder flickered in his eyes. "You… truly? Ah, yes, I would be happy to."

"Oh, brilliant," said a grinning Harry. "I'm so glad you two are getting on so well." 

He gave Severus a kiss goodbye, not quite on his lips, but close enough to make them tingle and his throat tighten. 

Severus turned into the touch. "I will see you at lunch?"

Harry nodded and tucked Severus' hair behind his ears. The lightest brush against them made Severus' breath catch and his body surge. Oh. Merlin.

Harry smiled softly. "Yeah, see you then, love. Have fun."

Severus inclined his head. Harry went to the elf, too, who had turned his face away and was staring out the window, eyes dark with some untold sorrow. Severus worried for him and wished the elf would open up to them, even a little.

Then again, Severus himself hadn't exactly been forthright until Harry gave him hope, had he?

Harry tugged Xerides down to kiss his cheek. "See you at dinner."

Xerides stiffened and gasped. "Harry. You… I…."

The elf gave Severus a panicked look, but Severus hadn't minded Harry's kiss. Strange. He had once believed he would be jealous and possessive if he ever found a partner who loved him, but perhaps _because_ he knew Harry loved him, it never sparked. Both Harry and Xerides went out of their way to make Severus feel safe, and it worked, he supposed. He didn't resent Xerides at any rate.

"Nothing to fret over," said Severus with a shrug. "Come, Xerides. We should go before the sun is high."

Xerides stared, cheeks a dusky red and his eyes wide. "You… are not angry?"

"No. Not at all."

Xerides' expression shifted to something soft. Gratitude and a shimmer of emotion showed in his eyes, but he blinked it back and gave Severus a tentative smile. "I am relieved to hear that."

"Yes." Severus motioned to the door. "Come. Harry said you have three quarters of the moondew we need?"

"Ah, yes, and I am able to finish the rest by taking cuttings and supplementing them with magic."

Severus cocked his head. "Elven magic? As far as I know, there is no wizarding spell to create viable cuttings from non-succulents."

Xerides inclined his head. "Elven magic and millennia of study."

"Millennia? I hadn't realize you have lived so long."

Xerides' ears folded back a little. Bashful? An odd trait in a warrior elf.

"Ah, I was born in ancient Athens."

Severus pulled up short. "Merlin! Harry did tell me you were Greek, but I had no idea he meant _ancient_ Greece. The things you must have seen!"

Xerides let out a rich laugh that warmed Severus' chest. Unrestrained joy like that had been so rare in his life, and hearing his sorrowful housemate laugh so freely relieved his worries for him. Perhaps all Xerides had needed was to know he still had a place with them. Severus hoped so.

"Hermione said the same thing the first day we met," Xerides said, still chuckling. "For the entire first six weeks I lived at the Forest House, Harry and Ron all but had to stun her to stop her from questioning me at all hours."

Severus snorted and smiled a little. He hadn't yet learned to laugh again, but between Harry and his elven housemate, he thought it might come in time.

"I give you my word to let you rest between interrogations, at least."

Xerides chuckled. "You might simply ask Hermione to lend you her notes. She took several _books_ ' worth of them."

Severus smirked. "I have absolutely _no_ problem believing that."

"Drove you mad on her essays, hm?"

Severus groaned. "You have _no_ idea. She's intelligent, don't misunderstand me, and her essays were always well-done, well-researched, and put together in a cohesive manner any instructor would be proud of, but dear _gods_. In seventeen years of teaching, I have never come across a student so relentlessly thorough. All the instructors had to start imposing length _limits_ to keep her from going ten metres over the requirement every time, and then we had to restrict her again by forbidding handwriting less than four millimetres in average height, and _then_ by forbidding the use of wizard space to circumvent the length restrictions."

Xerides gave another robust laugh, and the sound made Severus smile. Yes, he would be all right, in time.

"Fates, she was certainly determined."

"You may laugh, but Merlin, it wasn't funny for us. Until we covered all the loopholes, grading her essays took ten times as long as any other student, and we had hundreds to keep up with. I still have no idea where she found the time to write so much, let alone do it well."

Xerides chuckled. "She is certainly a force of nature when she puts her mind to something." He crossed his arms over his chest and stared over the grounds, his expression pensive. "It gives me hope, though. Her sheer doggedness in pursuing every titbit of knowledge on a subject and her ferocity in her beliefs. Perhaps, one day, those traits of hers that proved such a problem in Hogwarts will come as a boon elsewhere."

Severus paused and searched his companion's face. Whatever sorrow troubled him this time, Severus sensed it had haunted him for ages. 

"Xerides? Are you quite all right?"

Xerides' ears dropped. "As long as no one outside of Harry's closest circle of confidants ever finds me here."

Ah. The racism against nocturnal elves. Yes, that wound would cut deep, especially if Xerides had lost loved ones to the humans' cruelty.

Severus nodded, musing on his own life and the prejudices that had hurt him. "Yes, I think I understand, a bit, though I am not elven."

Xerides gave him a bemused look. "You understand my experience of racism?"

Severus flinched. "Ah, no. No, forgive me. I did not mean to imply racism, only that I know what it means to be hunted. Potter et al made a sport of it throughout my years at Hogwarts, then I lived as a spy for eighteen years."

Xerides' eyes filled with heavy sorrow. "Jèta, va tèloí. That, I must admit, you do understand. Too well, elven or no." The elf frowned at him, his aura clouded with uncertainty.

Severus lifted his hand towards his chest, a defensive gesture. "I… is something wrong, Xerides? I did not intend to offend."

"No, you have said nothing cruel. It's only that some of your skills are associated with elves. Your intuition, unusual skill in potions and herbology, and your skill in spellcrafting, for example."

Severus snorted. "My ears aren't quite long or mobile enough to qualify."

Xerides chuckled. "No, but…." He frowned and stared into the distance. "You are thirty-nine, yes?"

"Ah, I am not sure what bearing that has on the conversation, but yes."

"Morbid curiosity." 

Severus sensed worry in the elf's aura, but it vanished the next instant. 

"Come. The greenhouses are this way."

Xerides waved to the path ahead, where glass-paned roofs and iron frames peeked above a hedge wall with morning glories woven throughout. Severus detected spells on the vines to keep their growth in check, a wise precaution with such an invasive species.

"We should hurry to finish the tour before noon," Xerides said. "I won't do well in the greenhouse in the brightest hour of the day."

Severus hesitated. "Should we wait until nightfall instead?"

"I will be well enough for an hour or two. A bit of rest after we finish here will restore me with no problems, so long as I do not remain outside after noon."

"You will tell me if you need to retire?"

"Yes, of course. Sunburn is much more unpleasant for night elves than for humans."

"Ah." Severus winced. "Well, if you are injured, between Harry and myself, you are in good hands."

Xerides flushed crimson. "Ah… oh. Yes, that is true. Thank you." 

He shook himself slightly and led Severus through a white metal gate and into an entire complex of greenhouses.

Gods. This place was a herbologist's dream come true.

Most of the greenhouses had all manner of greenery visible within its walls, all healthy, vibrant plants in varying stages of growth. Xerides led him past these and to a second gated hedge. 

"This is the building with our moondew." Xerides waved to the greenhouse closest to the gate. "We can have a look at it later when Harry and I begin tonight's planting. For now, we will explore my… playground, so to speak, which I think you will enjoy."

He opened the gate, and Severus felt the tingle of powerful wards as he passed through. Inside the hedge, a spacious greenhouse hid within a sheltering veil of ivy, morning glories, and climbing roses. He sensed wards on the greenhouse as well, wards set to divert anyone who came too close and send them away, out of this guarded area. 

Severus' breath caught at the implications of this discovery. For him to be able to sense wards designed to _Confund_ and redirect at all, Xerides and Harry must have set him as an exception. The knowledge warmed him throughout. They truly did trust and care for him.

Gods, what a wonderful, novel feeling to be wanted like this.

Xerides motioned to the hidden greenhouse. "Welcome."

Severus gave him a tentative smile. "Thank you for trusting me with what is, clearly, a well-guarded secret. What do you keep in here?"

Xerides' smile held a hint of a smirk. "Exotic species, including plants that only grow in the elven forests."

Severus couldn't hide a gasp. "Merlin! Yes, I would be thrilled to have a look."

Xerides chuckled and led Severus to the door, but hesitated with his hand on the knob. "Severus, I trust you with any of the plants here and know you will respect them, but I also ask that you not reveal the existence of the elven varieties to any humans save Harry and his closest circle of friends. If there is a need, we will supply it, but humans have killed many of my people in attempt to claim our resources as their own. Will you protect our safety, please?"

Severus took out his wand, but Xerides eased the man's hand down, his touch light and fleeting. That the warmth of his fingers, the gentle brush of his skin didn't horrify Severus came as a shock and relief at once. 

"No vow is necessary," Xerides said, tone soft and open. "Your word is enough, va tèlói."

Severus' heart overflowed with tingling warmth. Oh, gods. How long had it been since a virtual stranger had trusted his word simply on the merit of his character? Come to think of it, had _anyone_ but Harry and Lucius ever trusted his word alone?

His voice came out rough. "I swear to protect your people, Xerides, and to keep your secrets among us." 

Xerides inclined his head in thanks and opened the door. "Come in, then, and I will show you around."

"Thank you." 

Severus followed the elf into his domain and prepared his mind to record every detail seen that day. He could hardly wait to explore the properties of each plant and their potential benefits in potions. Xerides smiled as he waved him inside, and it hit Severus like the Hogwarts Express that he had fallen into a house of fellow natural scientists. Colleagues. Kindred spirits. _Friends_.

Xerides, Harry, they could help him. They _wanted_ to help him. They shared the same spark, the same drive for research and development that Severus had thrived upon his entire life, and both were healers, just as Severus had longed to be since turning spy. Two potions masters, one a sunguard and healing prodigy and the other a master of twenty years' experience and intuition, and a master herbologist with the benefit of millennia of ancient elven knowledge, all in one house? Gods. The thought of what they might accomplish together—oh, _Merlin_ , it was beautiful.

A powerful wave of joy washed over him, setting him tingling from head-to-toe and lifting the hairs on his arms. Tears prickled his eyelids from the sheer intensity of emotion and the rare, wonderful experience of finally, _finally_ , having a place to belong.

Yes, he had come home, at last. 

"Severus?" Xerides' softspoken baritone brought him back to earth. "Are you well?"

Severus gave him a soft, shy smile. "I think I am better than I have ever been."

Xerides returned his smile, his eyes warm with relief and honest care for him, and Severus knew he would be happy here. Gods. He already was. In spite of the shadows lingering in dark corners, he was _happy_.

Merlin help him, it was about bloody time.

"I am glad to hear it," Xerides said. "We have all been worried for you for quite awhile. Seeing you smiling and taking joy in the world around you again is wonderful."

Severus' cheeks warmed. "I… I hadn't realised anyone but Harry…."

"We are Harry's family, Severus. He has shared his fears and hopes with us over the past three years, and in these past ten months, mostly with me. He is—besides my cousin, who is travelling through the Netherlands at the moment—the closest thing to family I have left. I… hope it doesn't offend that I… well… I will not trouble you if you would rather I stay away."

He turned back towards the plants, and it struck Severus that this tall, powerful, intelligent being was not merely bashful, but insecure. He acted as though he feared rejection and losing his place, and as if he expected Severus to feel threatened by him.

But Severus liked Xerides. Admired him. Perhaps the elf _should_ have made Severus worry, this beautiful, skilled being who clearly had a place in Harry's heart all his own, who had strength Severus could not hope to match and skills unfamiliar to him, who could overpower him in an instant if he so chose, but instead, Severus found his quiet nature and power a comfort. Strange that he should trust him so quickly, but then, Xerides had been protecting him from the shadows for years, hadn't he?

Severus cleared his throat and motioned to a glowing red lily just ahead. "Xerides, perhaps you might tell me about this species? It is quite lovely."

Xerides' ears fanned back a bit, and a shy smile crossed his face. So the elf could read subtle hints as well as blunt statements. Severus liked him more by the moment. He made a note to help him past his fears in the coming days, at least until he had to return to teaching.

The idea set his stomach in rebellion, so he pushed it aside. He still had a week of peace left, thank Merlin.

"Ah, yes," said the elf. "These are from the Daylight Woods, where my day kin reside. This is a sunfire lily. It is prized for its ability to generate heat without a flame, even in the coldest winter." Xerides motioned to the blossom. "See for yourself. Don't touch—just hold your hand near it."

Severus obeyed and gasped at the wave of warmth it gave off. "Oh! Assuming the chemical properties have no adverse reactions, these might go far in potions to aid in treating hypothermia and exposure. At the moment, our treatments are not at all effective enough."

Xerides gave a soft laugh. "Harry and I knew you would begin inventing cures within your first two minutes here."

 _Cures, not poisons._ Warmth stronger than the flowers' heat suffused Severus' heart. 

"It seems you know me better than I had imagined. Do you mind?"

"Not at all. Come, and we will see what other brilliant ideas your mind can produce in the next half hour or so."

Severus smiled and followed him to the next species.


	9. Signs of the Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm still in a dangerous state, so updates and replies are hard atm. Trying to recover, but it isn't going well so far.

#  **Chapter 9**

##  _Signs of the Times_

Lucius looked up from his copy of the Prophet at the sound of a snooty feminine voice. He had retired to an out of the way vestibule after his morning group therapy session in hopes of reading—and analysing—his paper in peace. Apparently, he would have no such luck that day.

"It's all rather scandalous, don't you think?"

Lucius' lip curled in a sneer. Parkinson. Ugh. Merlin, he detested the bint. More so, he detested the fact that his son did _not_.

Lucius had made a point to participate in all the recovery programmes available at the Dawning Light Rehabilitation Centre for Draco's sake, not that he found the group sessions particularly effective. Still, he wanted his transformation to stick and hoped to set an example his son could be proud to emulate. To that end, he threw his all into his recovery and aiding Harry in his goals to reform the Ministry. He spent hours upon end talking to Draco about the new way of the world and their place within it. He did everything in his power to help his family recover, so one day, these dark days might fade to nothing but a bad memory.

Yet every bit of progress Lucius made with his son, Parkinson managed to undo within ten minutes. 

By Merlin, he loathed that girl. He hadn't much liked her beforethe war had changed him, but afterwards, he found her self-centred, bigoted grandstanding intolerable. 

Of all the people here, why had Draco attached his allegiance to _her_?

Lucius scowled upon determining his son wasn't near the little bint for once and returned to his paper. He hadn't processed two sentences before her next words snapped his attention back to her conversation.

In hushed tones, Parkinson muttered to her companion, "Well, scandalous or no, I say it's about time _someone_ did something about him. He was getting too uppity, useless half-breed. I'm quite glad someone finished him off for us."

Lucius' stomach dropped through the floor and his heartbeat rang in his ears.

_'What?'_

Oh, this wasn't good. He had to know the truth. Now.

His magic dampening bracelet didn't deny him the use of small, everyday charms—a privilege he had earned through months of hard effort to prove his honesty—so he used one of his allotted daily spells to silence the paper and muffle his steps. Cautiously, he laid the paper on the sofa beside him and crept into the shadows against the wall of his vestibule. Parkinson wouldn't see him there, and so she would have no reason to cover her fascist leanings with false compassion a blind man could see through. He would learn more this way, and as he knew and loved at least two half-blood males who might qualify as 'uppity' to such a blood purist bitch, he needed to know who she meant.

_'Gods. Severus, Harry… please be safe.'_

The girl's companion spoke in a low, gruff voice. Goyle. Another hanger-on Lucius couldn't get away from his son. Lovely. The death of his best friend had taught Goyle nothing but to hate those of non-pureblood descent more. His only redeeming quality was the fact that he lacked the intelligence to hide his true nature. Because of it, Draco didn't trust him as much these days, thank Merlin.

Parkinson, on the other hand, posed a much greater threat. 

Goyle muttered, "What'd he do this time, then?"

"That jumped-up half-breed had the audacity to _sack_ a member of the Sacred Twenty-Eight! Can you believe it? And for nothing more than voicing concern about whether some half-blood idiot's story had any merit. Well, you can bet Grant will be trying for his job back now that the great fool is gone."

Lucius narrowed his eyes. Grant? More than one Grant had a position in the Sacred Twenty-Eight, but at least Lucius could rule out Harry and Severus as they had no employees outside of Harry's clothing business, and no one outside the family knew he managed it. Still, something about the situation, especially coming so close on the heels of Harry being outed to the public, left him deeply unsettled. 

Goyle whispered, "Who did it? Do you know?"

Parkinson sighed. "I don't. It's strange. Papa had thought Grant himself might have done it, but Lady Greengrass said he spent that night talking with her niece. They were both angry at the way that half-breed forced them out, so they were sharing breakfast at the Wand and Watercress at the time of death. At least, that's what Lady Greengrass said." She tittered. "Of course, she might have been lying. Who knows?"

Parkinson and Goyle walked out of earshot, and Lucius climbed down from the sofa. His stomach roiled and his knees trembled. Another senseless murder over nothing more than genetics. Gods, would it never end?

He sat by his paper and laid his head in his hands. Should he contact Harry and Severus? No. Not now. They had enough to deal with as it was. He should let them have one day of peace.

Hm. Could this be the crime the Prophet had mentioned the past two days? The one the Ministry had tried to cover up? Well, if Parkinson knew as much as she did, then the details would probably find their way into the Prophet that evening. He hoped so. He had nothing to go on but the first name of someone the half-blood in question had sacked, and that wouldn't help anyone. 

He let out a shaky sigh and returned to the paper. With any luck, this would be an isolated incident. Harry had already defeated the dark lord and driven his evil from their lands.

Right?

* * *

Harry peeked beside Xerides' arm to look into the pot he was stirring. "Ooh, you're making foxleaf stew for dinner? I bet Severus will love that."

Xerides raised an eyebrow. "Will he? A human who is used to human fare?"

" _I_ like it. Even Ron loves it, and you know he's practically a carnivore."

Xerides chuckled. "True enough. I have a fresh loaf of elven bread baking, too."

"Oh, I know. I followed the smell here."

Xerides shook his head in amusement. "Go entertain your mate. Dinner will be finished in a half hour."

"Ves is busy looking over his notes from the greenhouses. I'll go join him in a minute, but I wanted to talk to you first."

Xerides gave him a curious look.

"How are you, Xeri? Are you okay with this? Him living here, us being together? Are you all right?"

Xerides forced a wave of grief back. He couldn't let Harry see his lingering pain. At least they had let him stay and Severus had begun to warm up to him. It was more than he had expected.

"I… I'm not sure why you feel the need to ask."

Harry brought him into a gentle hug. "You're my best friend and housemate. I care about you, and you've been miserable for a long time. I'm _worried_ about you, Xeri. Are you okay with all this?"

Xerides allowed himself the brief comfort of breathing in Harry's scent and holding him close, then stepped back. It was no longer his right.

"I am well enough."

"Xeri."

"What?"

"Va tèlói, have you completely forgotten that I can read your emotions in your ears? You aren't okay. I can see it. Will you talk to me? Please?"

Xerides shuddered and laid his stirring spoon in its holder, set along the middle of the range. "Harry, you are correct that… there is something that hurts, but I am neither free nor ready to speak of it. And I truly _am_ better. I had imagined I would need to return to the forest when Severus came home. To know he wants me to stay is a great relief."

Harry sighed. "Okay. Tell you what, Xeri. How about you let me finish the stew and you go write your cousin about what's bothering you? It might help."

Xerides hesitated. "I think it would hurt him, Harry. Quite a bit. But I will write him tonight about other things." 

Harry crossed his arms over his chest. "Then… will you talk to 'Mione or Ron?"

Xerides paused as a memory from the war came back to him. The night Severus and Lucius had rescued Luna and Dean and Harry had slept in Xerides' arms, Hermione had looked at him with such sorrow in her eyes.

 _"I don't think Xerides is interested in_ me _, Ron."_

Xerides swallowed against a sudden chill. Damn. Hermione knew.

"I… think I may be able to speak to Hermione about it. Soon."

Harry slumped in obvious relief. "Oh, thank Merlin. You were really starting to worry me." He rubbed Xerides' back and carded through the tips of his hair. "Want to tell me how it went in the greenhouses earlier? Ves said you got on well, but I want to hear your side, too."

Xerides flushed and gave Harry a hesitant smile over his shoulder. "I… we did get on. Very well. I find myself a little stunned at how well he seems to trust me. I had expected much more resistance."

"You've already proved yourself in Ves' eyes, Xeri. You saved him. He hasn't forgotten it." Harry looked away, his eyes dark and heavy with pain. "Do you know? What they did to him?"

Xerides closed his eyes and shuddered. "I have seen the signs before, Harry. I know enough to understand why Severus fears touch and could not bear to see you half-dressed."

Harry leaned on the cold box and hugged his chest. "What do I do, Xeri? How do I help him heal?" He let his head thump against the freezer door. "I've tried so hard to help him, but he keeps seeing… _him_. I just, I'm not sure I'm the right person to help him through his flashbacks."

And by the look in his eyes, that hurt him down to his core.

"I don't want him to look at me like that."

Xerides rubbed his forehead and struggled to find the right words. "Harry, all I can do is tell you is to be there for him. You know how to handle his flashbacks and panic attacks from your own experiences with them. It is only difficult because you love him and his abuser looked too much like you. It is unfortunate and will make his path to recovery a longer one, I think, but it is not impossible to overcome."

Harry sniffled and wiped his eyes. "I just want him to be okay."

"Stand by him and be patient with his recovery, and I believe he will be. It will only take time."

Harry sighed and scrubbed tears from his cheeks. "Y-yeah. You're right. Thanks." 

He rubbed the remnants of his tears onto Xerides' hand, and gentle healing warmth filled the night elf's chest, though the icy cut of his sorrow remained. 

"Does it help at all?"

Xerides tried to keep his pain from his smile. "Yes, it does. Thank you. You should check on Severus, though."

"All right, but… you'll come to me if you need me, right? I don't want to leave you out."

Xerides squeezed Harry's shoulder. "You never have, Harry. Go tend to your mate. I will be well for a few moments."

Harry nodded and left, expression clouded with concern. Xerides leaned on the counter and released a heavy sigh. Damn. Three days, and Harry already knew there was more to Xerides' pain than their living arrangements. Fates help him.

How much longer could he last here? If Harry already had an inkling, how long did Xerides have before Severus saw through him, too? 

Not long enough, to be sure.

Xerides blinked back his tears before they fell and shielded himself behind heavy occlumency walls. 

No, his reprieve wouldn't last forever, but he would try to enjoy it as long as he could.

* * *

Severus looked up from his research notes at a sharp wave of icy pain in his chest. Again? Why? He checked his pulse and magic levels, but could find nothing to explain his sudden symptoms.

He had just started to wonder if it could be something wrong in the mate bond when the sensation cut off as swiftly as it had come. 

What the bloody hell was going on?

Harry stepped into the room, his eyes full of worry and sorrow, and checked at the door. "Ves? Are you okay, love?"

"I… think so? I felt something strange, but it is gone now."

"Strange how?"

"It felt like ice in my chest. I cannot describe it any other way. And… I was shaking, I think, but it passed so quickly. It is the third such occurrence in two days. I am rather alarmed by it."

Harry blanched. "I don't know about the shaking, but the ice sounds like what I felt in my core every time you were hurt badly enough to threaten your life."

Severus went rigid. "You… _felt it_?"

Harry nodded grimly. "My life is tied to yours, love."

"Sweet Circe." Severus beckoned his mate and held him close. "I am so sorry. I did not understand your warnings."

Harry kissed Severus' cheek and nuzzled his hair. "It's all right. It's over now. I'm going to keep you safe from now on." He checked Severus' forehead and pulse. "You seem okay. Does it still hurt at all?"

"No. And the more I think of it, the more I think it was not a physical thing."

"Magical?"

"I… I don't believe so. My magic levels are normal and steady, and I have no bonds to anyone but you any longer. Did you feel anything odd?"

"No. Not that I noticed."

Severus let out his breath in a rush. "How strange. I… don't know what we can do other than keep an eye on it. As I said, it is gone now."

Harry nodded. "Tell me if it happens again?"

"Yes." Severus guided Harry to sit beside him. "Now, what had you so upset when you came in?"

Harry sighed and dropped his head against the back of the sofa. "Xeri. Something's been bothering him since the end of the war, but he won't talk about it. I thought it was just worry about being sent away, but you already told him to stay, and he's still in pain. And I just… I wish he would talk to me. He's worrying me." He shook his head. "He did, at least, say he would try to speak to 'Mione about it, but I can't help but worry anyway. His ears were practically on his shoulders, Ves."

Severus squeezed Harry's hand. "Perhaps Hermione will be able to aid him with his grief. I hope so."

"Yeah, so do I." Harry gave Severus a smile tinged with concern. "Well, what did you find in the greenhouse then?"

"Here. We shall look over my notes together, yes?"

Harry's smile warmed, and he folded his wing around Severus' back. "Well, Xeri said he'll be done with dinner in a few minutes, but we can make a start of it. Let's see."

Severus shared his notes, and he soon forgot his worries in a discussion of the potential for using sun roses to boost the healing power of Harry's Dawn Elixir.

* * *

The evening Prophet came after dinner. Severus had half-expected to see a press release about an investigation into his attackers, but the night's headline bore another photo of Harry. An article with more information about sunguards followed, as well as an accounting of the damage in Godric's Hollow. Una said nothing outright of the link between Harry's anger and that he had damaged nothing but his family monument and his parents' headstones, but the way she presented the facts made it blatantly obvious anyway to anyone capable of basic deduction. It was another positive report they could use to benefit their case, and without a hint of speculation. 

Severus made a mental note to send Una the biggest gift box of dark chocolate he could find as soon as he had the chance. He recalled her preference for it, and the woman was practically championing their cause without ever saying so. Slytherin to the core, that one. He had rarely been so proud of one of his protégés. 

And yet, the story didn't comfort him much. Una had said nothing of Harry's weaknesses or his bond to Severus, but purebloods already knew of sunguards for the most part, and those who didn't could find out. If they ever learned who Harry's mate was… fates help them.

Severus shuddered and resolved to be careful about his relationship with Harry from that moment on. He would guard his life well now that he had a reason to.

Dying was no longer an option.

Hippa popped in and called for him just as he turned the page.

"Ah, hello, Hippa. Are you all right?"

"Hippa is fine, Master Severus." But her ears drooped a little. "Hippa is only wanting to know how you are doing with your mate."

Ah. So she missed him then.

"Well, sit with me and we shall catch you up, yes?"

Hippa beamed and climbed up beside him. He made a mental note to ask Harry if she could stay, too. He had quite forgotten his arrangement with her when he had agreed to live here last night.

"Other than the incident at the cemetery and having to relive my past too much recently, we have been doing well."

Hippa frowned. "Where is your mate? Hippa is thinking he would be here with you."

"He has been for much of the day. He had a standing arrangement to visit his godson after dinner tonight, so he is staying at Lupin's for the time being."

Hippa scowled. "He is visiting the wolf who hurt you?"

Severus closed his eyes. "Hippa, Lupin tried to save me. He beat his own friends bloody the second time they assaulted me and tried to rescue me. He would have done, if I hadn't been too ashamed and _Obliviated_ him bef—"

"Master!" Hippa leapt up and covered his mouth. "No, you must not be telling Hippa this! You will be breaking your vow!"

Severus removed her hand. "Fawkes!"

The phoenix appeared and nuzzled Severus' cheek. Hippa's mouth fell open.

"Dumbles' phoenix is being yours now?"

Severus stroked Fawkes' chest. "No, Harry's. He helped Harry and Captain Goldman remove the vow from me after Godric's Hollow. Since it was given under duress, they could undo the charms. I am free to speak as I wish now, Hippa."

Her eyes welled. "Oh, Master! You is finally able to talk and get better."

Severus nodded grimly. "And press charges. Harry and I have already begun the process."

"Oh! Oh, that is wonderful! Hippa is not liking how the old headmaster is treated. You is being much more of a hero."

Severus stopped her from twisting her ears. "Thank you. No hurting yourself, little one. You have done nothing wrong."

"Thank you, Master Severus."

A low baritone called, "Severus? Are you ready to…?" Xerides checked at the door. "Oh, hello, Hippa."

Hippa bowed. "Hello, Master Xerides. Is you taking care of Hippa's master, too?"

Xerides turned crimson. "Ah… well, I am… yes?"

Severus snorted. "And here I thought you always had a smooth answer for everything. You are far more bashful than I had expected of a master warrior."

Xerides' ears dropped. "I…."

"Xerides, I was only teasing. It's quite all right. Come. I haven't quite finished with the paper, but I have a question for you and Harry."

Xerides hesitated. "Should we wait until Harry is present?"

"I can simply ask him later. Do you mind if Hippa stays here as well when my contract at Hogwarts ends? Minerva has agreed to release her into my care when I leave, as Hippa is loyal to me. She is quite lonely without me, I think."

Xerides smiled. "Of course. We expected her to come along anyway. Winky already set a place for her aside. Hippa, we prepared the yellow and blue room in the síoda loft for you. Would you like Winky to show it to you? The ceilings are a bit low for Severus and I to manage."

Hippa beamed. "Hippa would be happy to see it. How is you knowing yellow is Hippa's favourite?"

Xerides chuckled. "Luck, I suppose. You are free to change it however you see fit. Winky?"

The elf appeared and waved at Hippa.

Xerides chuckled. "Would you show Hippa to her quarters, please?"

Winky bowed, grinning. "Yes, Master Xerides. Oh, Winky is so happy to have another female in the house. We is going to be friends, yes?"

Hippa giggled. "Hippa hopes so, but wait." She gave Severus a searching look. "You is being happy here, Master Severus?"

"Happy…." Severus smiled to himself. "You know, I think I am."

Hippa beamed and blinked tears back. "Oh, Hippa is being so relieved."

Winky nodded. "We is helping you take care of Master Severus from now on."

Hippa hugged her. "Thank you. Hippa is so happy to have help and new friends!"

"I am glad to hear it." Severus squeezed her shoulder. "We can speak more later, Hippa. Go and see your room. Xerides and I are going to reinforce the wards as soon as I finish this last page."

"Yes, Master Severus." Hippa bowed and left with Winky, already giggling with each other before they left the room.

"Well, I think those two will get on swimmingly," said Severus with a wry smile. "Just let me finish this and we shall go."

Xerides nodded and sat in quiet contemplation, eyes half-shut, as Severus opened his paper once more and focused on the final headline.

And, as the words registered, a ringing bolt of shock shot through him and stilled his breath in his lungs. _No_. Oh, sweet Merlin, _no_!

" _Fucking hell_!"

Xerides bolted up, eyes wide. "Severus?"

"Oh, gods. The auror… the auror captain who helped us last night…." Severus gave Xerides a horror-dazed look. "He is dead! Someone killed him not an hour after we left the interrogation."

Xerides sank against the wall in shock. "Killed him?"

Severus nodded and forced his horror and grief back long enough to focus on what had to be done. " _Expecto Patronum_!" His doe formed and shook herself out. "Chloe, bring Harry home and warn Kingsley to guard himself. I think… I have made a terrible mistake."

Xerides breathed, "Oh, Severus. No. No it is not your fault."

Severus held his gaze for an instant, grateful for his presence and support even if he feared the elf was wrong, and carried on with his message.


	10. Aftershocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an: depression recovery is coming a little better now that I have a better understanding of what's going on, but this will probably take years to sort out, if it ever really does. I am dealing with major issues on all fronts, and not all of it can be fixed (like my health and pain). So I'm in this for the long haul with very little support, but I'm doing everything I can to get through it. My little man helps (when he's not earning his _other_ nicknames--Taz and Loki. I'm sure you can guess why we call him those lol.).

#  **Chapter 10**

##  _Aftershocks_

"Come on, Teddy, walk for Uncle Harry. You can do it!"

Harry laughed as his little godson held on to Remus' coffee table and bounced. 

"Well, that's something. Come on, come to Uncle Harry!"

"Bababa!"

Remus snorted. "I think he would sooner come to _food_." He set a tin of mashed bananas in front of Harry and gave him a baby spoon. "See if that doesn't work."

Harry scooped up a bit of banana and made airplane noises. Teddy giggled and bounced a little closer.

"There you go! One step, and you can have a bite of banana."

"Bana bana!"

"Yes, that's it, lots of yummy bananas here just for you. Come on, then. One step…." A doe patronus leapt through the wall and landed at Harry's feet. He gasped and dropped the spoon.

"What the…?"

Remus eyed her critically. "Isn't that Severus' patronus?"

"Oh, right. Of course. I haven't seen her outside of his mem—" Harry's heart gave a stuttered lurch and his body went rigid. "Wait, Severus? Oh, Merlin! This can't be good. He'd never risk this unless—oh, _fuck_!"

"Harry! Not in front of—"

"Sorry, Remy. I think this is an emergency." He petted the doe's forehead. "Okay, what's wrong, Ves?"

_"Harry, I'm sorry to cut your visit short, but I need you here urgently, and for the love of god, make sure Kingsley is safe!"_

"King? Oh no. Oh _no_!" Harry bolted to his feet and struggled to calm his fluttering heart and rushed breathing. "Remy, I have to—if this is as bad as I think…."

Remus had already sent his wolf along to Kingsley. Harry waited, anxiously, for it to return. It loped back a moment later and yipped for attention, a signal he had a reply. Thank Merlin.

Remus' shoulders sagged in relief. A quick pat on the wolf's head began the auror's reply.

_"Tell Severus I'm okay, Remus. I just couldn't answer him where I was. I was afraid someone might try to track his doe—who knows what the Unspeakables are capable of, after all. Anyway, tell him I'll be at Harry's floo in ten."_

"I'll tell Severus," Harry said with a wince. "Damn. Something awful must have happened."

Remus gave him a searching look. "Mm. And why would Kingsley be calling for Severus at _your_ floo, Harry?"

Harry rescued Teddy from banging into the table corner and brought him to his father. "Because he's my mate, maybe? And he lives at the house now anyway."

Remus set his son in his lap. "Your mate is _Severus_? Oh." He raked a hand through his hair and grimaced. "Merlin, that can't be easy. Your dad…."

Harry's jaw clenched. "They were _far_ worse than you know. Or did you think I set Godric's Hollow on fire for a lark? Ves finally told me the whole story, and we told the aurors about it with King that night. If Severus is worried for him… oh, this _must_ be bad." Harry ignored the man's stricken expression. "Damn it, I have to go. I have to warn—I'm sorry."

Remus waved him off. "Go. Your… mate needs you."

Harry acknowledged the tacit acceptance and headed for the floo.

"Harry? About Severus, I am sorry. I always have been. I just didn't know what to say, and by the time I worked it out, well, it was too little, too late."

Harry gave him a sad smile. "He knows. I'll see you later." With that, he flooed home and called for his friend. "Xeri! Hide yourself. King will be here in a few minutes."

Xerides called from the study, "Oh, thank the fates. I will be in my quarters."

"Turn your earpiece on."

Xerides waved as he ran past. Harry went into the study after him and dashed to his mate's side. Severus sat with his head in his hands, his face ashen and body shaking. Harry knelt before him and rubbed Severus' knees. 

"I'm here, love. What's wrong?"

Severus shuddered and closed his eyes in grief. "The captain. He's been murdered, Harry."

" _What_?" Harry sank back on his heels, horror stealing his breath. "Murdered? I… h-how? When? How do you know?"

Severus motioned to the paper. Harry swallowed hard and read the article he had it open to. 

> **_Murder at the Ministry?_ **
> 
> _Three days prior, at approximately 7:15 AM on 12 May_ _, eyewitnesses reported seeing a streak of green light from within the DMLE. Auror Captain Kevin Goldman, a twenty-seven year old half-blood who rose through the ranks quickly for his fair-minded approach to justice and deft hand with a wand, allegedly fell victim to the killing curse while on his way to the records department. Witnesses fled the scene._
> 
> _Public record, examined this morning, verified the captain's death. Neither the time nor cause of death were listed, but family members have verified that Captain Goldman's disappearance coincides with the time of death reported above._
> 
> _The Daily Prophet has no further verifiable details at this time. The Ministry_ _has offered no comment concerning the case. All information we have at this point comes from the aforementioned eyewitnesses, who wish to remain anonymous. More to come as it becomes available._

"Dear Merlin." Harry let the paper fall and sat beside Severus, numb and cold inside. "I… I liked him. He was a good man. Why… why would anyone do this?"

"Because of me," Severus whispered.

Harry whirled around. "Severus?"

"It… it's my fault. He was killed because he tried to help me." Tears slid down Severus' face. "A-Albus was right. I never should have spoken."

"Severus, my god!" Harry caught the man into his arms. "Shh. No, love. No. You aren't at all to blame for this."

"The timing is too convenient to be coincidental, Harry. He would have just finished his report by that time and was, most likely, on his way to turn it in. Someone did not want my story to see the light of day, and now, just like Albus said, an innocent is dead because of it!"

Harry tugged Severus' head onto his shoulder. "Oh, love. Even if it _was_ because they wanted to keep your story quiet, it's not your fault. Shh. The guilt belongs only to the arsehole who killed him."

"I'm going to second that." Kingsley came in the study and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I take it you saw the leak in the paper?"

Harry nodded and wiped his eyes. "The captain—is Severus right? Was he trying to turn his case in?"

Kingsley scoffed in disgust. "Here's the deal, Harry. The department is technically supposed to be on lockdown. We all bloody know it's an inside job, but the berks in charge don't want that getting out. I can't tell you it has anything at all to do with Captain Goldman trying to report Severus' case."

But Harry caught the man's hard expression and tone let Harry know exactly what he meant. 

"I see. So if someone was trying to cover up the truth…."

"I certainly wouldn't be able to tell you if they were." Kingsley brushed invisible lint from his robes. "But I might be able to tell you there is more than one way to make sure the truth sees the light of day regardless of the opposition." He picked up the paper, folded it, and handed it to Harry. "Just be careful about mentioning the completely unrelated case I can't talk about. Until it's proved one way or the other, the Ministry can take you down for libel. Hard."

"Understood."

Harry placed the paper on the side table. Thank Merlin the Prophet had a reputable feature reporter these days. Una would help them, for sure.

"I can't help you with the investigation, gentlemen." Kingsley sat across from Severus, expression grave. "All I can do is advise you that people who want to silence crimes tend to be… thorough."

Harry nodded grimly. "We'll take that into account. Severus has been sensing something off. We meant to reinforce the wards tonight anyway. I will make damn sure we do it right. And ask your help, if you're willing?"

"Of course." Kingsley leaned back in his chair. "Don't ask me about Goldman, though. I can't talk about it."

Hm. But he wasn't bound on anything else, was he?

"If… there was someone who wanted to keep Severus quiet, how would we find out who?"

Kingsley gave him a grim look. "Well, with any crime, the first thing to think of is any _obvious_ liabilities."

Harry scowled. "Fawley! He… no, wait. He didn't know the story. He wouldn't have a reason to...." The words stuck in his throat, and he closed his eyes against a surge of pain. "H-he wouldn't have a motive, but—"

A badger patronus leapt at him. "What the hell? What does Nev want?"

The badger spoke in Neville's voice. "Harry, _Lucius is asking me to call for you urgently. He says he has information related to a murder."_

"Could only be Kevin. Hm." Kingsley scratched his chin. "Well, might be good for an _honest_ auror to be there to hear it then, yeah?"

Harry gave him an absent nod and rubbed his mate's back. "Love, what do you want to do? About Luc."

Severus flinched. "No. Tell him nothing about me. He cannot bear it regardless, but there is also the fact that if he has no knowledge of the murder's relation to my case, he cannot die for it."

"I couldn't if I wanted to, Severus. Even without the lockdown, it's illegal."

Severus inclined his head and clenched his fingers into his robe. His knuckles turned white and trembled. 

"It is for the best."

Harry pried Severus' hands apart. "I'm here, love. Just let me answer Nev, and I'll take care of you."

Severus gave a slight nod.

Harry directed his speech to the lingering patronus. "Nev, tell him I'm sending King along to take a _trustworthy_ report. My… friend needs my help right now. Luc will understand. I'll be along to speak to him tomorrow, provided no other catastrophes get in the way."

The badger nodded and vanished.

Kingsley rubbed Harry's shoulder. "Take care of him, yeah? And, Severus, much as I know you're hurting right now, know any crime is never anyone's fault but that of the criminals involved. You didn't kill Kevin. Your 'completely unrelated' story didn't kill him. A murderer killed him, full stop."

Severus blinked hard. "If I hadn't spoken…."

Kingsley dropped on one knee before him, but didn't touch. "It is _not_ your fault, Severus."

Severus gave a stifled snarl, but his breath hitched at the end of it. "Why? Why is it so important to spare the reputation of dead men?" He couldn’t keep the waver from his voice.

Kingsley shook his head. "I can't say anything about that, but I can say that pureblood prejudice didn't stop when Riddle died. We have a lot more work to do, and it won't always go smoothly, but if we give up…."

"They win, and a lot more innocents die." Harry tugged Severus into his arms. "King is right, love. It's no one's fault but the killer's. And we know who's enabling them, too."

Severus gave a hesitant nod.

"You're sure you don't want to talk to Luc about it, love?"

Severus shuddered. "I can't. It isn't worth anyone else dying for. Especially not…." He froze. "Kingsley, the mediwitch, Auror Rosenberg—has anyone made sure they are safe?"

"I can't tell you that." But Kingsley's expression made it clear enough.

"Thank you."

Kingsley stood. "Severus, let Harry take care of you tonight. I'll go take Lucius' statement. Might be unrelated anyway, though I doubt it. We'll talk later, all right?"

Severus nodded. Harry saw Kingsley off and went back to his mate. 

"How do you want to handle this, love? Whatever you need to do, I'll support you. Xeri will, too."

"I… I don't think I want to try again. Not if people are going to die for it."

Harry closed his eyes and rested his head against Severus'. "Okay, love. It's your choice, but know you didn't do this."

"Whether it is my fault or not doesn't matter, nor does it matter who wins. An innocent man and one of the few decent aurors on the force is dead at twenty-bloody-seven because someone didn't want the image of a handful of purebloods tarnished. I'm not willing to see anyone else die for charges against people who are all already dead anyway."

"Okay. If that's what you need, it's what we'll do." Harry kissed Severus' temple and sat beside him. "I'm sorry though, love. Just when we thought things would be okay."

Severus nodded, staring at his knees. The slow, silent tears on his face broke Harry's heart.

Xerides came in then and sat on Severus' other side, leaving some distance. He stared into the fire, a silent support. 

Harry gave him a grave look. "Did you pick everything up, Xeri?"

Xerides nodded without looking up. "Another innocent lost to power-hungry fools. Is there no end in sight?"

"I… don't know."

"Wars never truly end, it seems," Severus said, voice hollow.

Xerides nodded, his ears low and expression heavy with ages of bad memories. "They do, eventually, but wars make a colossal wave in the fabric of time. They do not fade without backlash." He laid his head against the back of the sofa and sighed. "Fates. I wish Torasi could be here tonight."

Harry frowned. "Your cousin? Why?"

"Besides being able to empathise with your pain, he is a fine hand at music. I had thought it might be soothing right now when we all feel a bit lost and unsettled."

Harry cocked his head. "Hm." He whistled, and Fawkes came at his call. "Want to sing with me for old times' sake?"

Fawkes twittered happily, then started a sweet, slow song. A moment later, Harry joined in on a lower register, but still with the sound of birdsong. 

"Fates." Xerides watched, eyes wide. "I did not realise he could do that. Helios never did. Not that I recall anyway. Then again, he did not have a phoenix companion."

Severus rested his head on Harry’s shoulder. "It does help."

Harry stroked Severus' hair and sang to him until his posture eased and his shaking stopped.

* * *

Severus shuddered as James Potter's leering face melted away, revealing the haunted golden eyes of his partner. "Harry. Merlin, forgive me." He slumped into the corner where he had taken refuge and buried his head in his knees. "I think Goldman's murder has only made the nightmares worse."

He winced at a break in his voice, and stifled a rush of tears in his knees. "I thought… I thought it would be well. I thought, since we had compassionate people in the end and Lupin is no longer helpless, everyone would be safe. I never dreamed they would come after the captain."

Harry settled beside Severus, voice unsteady and body shaking. "Y-yeah. It… it's horrid. I'm so sorry, love."

Severus shuddered. "I am relieved we forced them all into vows protecting my identity. It would be too easy to kill me if anyone suspected where I am."

"The Ministry doesn’t even know where _I_ live." Harry paused. "Or they shouldn't, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to add more scrambling spells to the wards. Assuming we can find any others."

"We are protected under _Fidelius_ , blood warding, unplottability, location scrambling spells, anti-apparition wards, _Confundus_ charms, invisibility and silencing charms, and even elven magic, and I think there are few who could wrest the sanctity of your own stronghold out of you." Severus took a shaky breath. "But I agree, more security cannot hurt at a time like this."

"Yeah. We'll work on them more after breakfast and see Luc tomorrow instead. I'll ask King, 'Mione, and Bill to help us with the wards today, too. And Xeri once the sun is down."

Severus nodded. "A warning system would not be amiss either, in case all our precautions fail."

"Fawkes' energy is linked to the wards. If anyone attacks them, he'll know, but extra precautions couldn't hurt either." Harry offered his hand. "I suppose this means Mediwitch Lewis won't be able to help us."

"I cannot put her at risk. Perhaps I should see a muggle counselor."

"Hm. Not sure how well that would work, with the way they… restrained you."

"Yes." Severus rubbed a hand across his face. "Merlin. What a mess."

Harry nodded, expression heavy with sorrow. "Yeah."


	11. Status Quo

#  **Chapter 11**

##  _Status Quo_

Perhaps in effort to lift Severus' spirits, Harry made steaks for dinner. Severus watched Xerides help Harry finish a garnish of sautéed onions with interest.

"Xerides, do you eat red meat? I had the impression that you are vegetarian, or perhaps pescatarian."

Xerides moved the onions off the heat and scooped them into a bowl. "Not quite. Elves have little need for meat and do not often eat it, red meat in particular, but it makes for a pleasant indulgence every once in a while." He set the bowl on the table. "I am content."

"Sit, Xeri. I have this." Harry set Severus' plate before him with a smile. "Xeri almost always makes vegetarian meals, but he's so good at it, I never feel like I'm missing anything. Still, I do sometimes like a nice steak every now and again. And after everything, I thought we could all use some comfort food."

Severus nodded. "Perhaps so." 

Harry lifted a bottle of merlot, but hesitated over his glass. "Ah, Ves, do you want wine tonight, or would you prefer something nonalcoholic? I have lemonade made if you would like that instead."

Severus hesitated. "One glass. If I am still thirsty after that, I will simply drink water."

"Sure, love." 

Harry poured for Severus and served Xerides. Severus waited to speak again until Harry had served himself as well and taken a seat. 

"This looks lovely, Harry. Thank you."

Xerides gave him a curious look. "You enjoy red meat then?"

Severus paused. "Hm. A year ago, I would have said, unequivocally, yes, but it seems I prefer it less and less as of late. I do still enjoy it on occasion, such as now, but I seem to prefer turkey or fish if I eat meat at all over the past few months." 

Xerides frowned. "I see. Do you know why it is changing for you?"

Severus shook his head. "Time, I suppose. At first, I thought it was depression, then I thought it was my bout with alcoholism altering my preferences." He cut his steak and gave it a wry look. "But I have since come a long way in defeating both, and my tastes haven't gone back to normal. Still, this looks good."

Harry rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry, love. I reckoned steak was a safe enough choice. Maybe I'll just borrow Xeri's recipes in the future."

"It's fine, Harry. As I said, I haven't had it in awhile, so I'm quite looking forward to it." Severus took his bite and looked up to find Xerides giving him a narrow-eyed stare. He raised an eyebrow at the elf and swallowed. "Did I say something insulting, Xerides?"

The elf shook himself. "Ah, no. I was worrying over your changed tastes. It seems rather peculiar this late in life."

"Eh, they say our tastes change every seven years or so," said Harry with a shrug. "Ves might be a little overdue."

Xerides nodded absently. "Yes, perhaps." But he didn't look convinced. Severus brushed it aside. 

"Will you be visiting Teddy again tonight, Harry?"

Harry shook his head. "Tonight is Andi's night with him. Molly gets him tomorrow. Remus keeps him Friday, and Ron and 'Mione will be here for dinner that night. Then I usually keep Teddy for half the day on Saturday and let him play on the grounds. He's seen Xeri a couple of times and loves him, but we try to bring him over when Xeri is sleeping so he doesn't slip when he starts talking."

Severus frowned. "I think you could trust Lupin. He is a nocturnal being himself. I think he would protect Xerides."

Harry gave him a lopsided grin. "If I tell him _you_ said we could trust him…."

"Please don't. I deal with enough leg humping as is."

Xerides laughed unabashedly. Harry snorted and choked on his wine. 

"Dear gods, Ves. What a mental image. Merlin."

Severus smirked and sipped his wine with exaggerated aplomb.

"Yes, yes, just because you can eat without making a mess of yourself." Harry chuckled and siphoned the wine from his shirt. "I can't help it if your snarky humour amuses me." He went serious again. "Ves, I forgot to tell you in the mess last night, but when your patronus came for me there…."

Severus waved it aside. "I have never been free to speak plainly to Lupin, but I stopped holding my past against him the day he saved me, and again when he nearly killed Black after he sent me to the shack. Of course, he had no idea what… happened after Potter dragged me away." He took a sip of his wine to wash down a wave of illness. "I do not bear him a grudge."

Harry laid his hand over Severus'. "Will you tell him that, love? Please? He's hated himself for it for years. He told me last night he's tried to apologise over and over, but never managed to find the words."

"He might start with 'sorry,'" Xerides muttered, a scowl marring the placidity of his usual expression.

Harry paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. "Merlin. I don't think I've ever seen you be less than patient with anyone, Xeri. Why does it annoy you?"

Xerides sighed and swirled his wine. "You know Torasi and I lived together most of our lives?"

Harry nodded. "You're more brothers than cousins, far as I can tell."

"That is somewhat true genetically speaking as well. We are double cousins. My mother and Torasi's father were siblings, as were my father and Torasi's mother, but I digress. Harry, I was twelve and Torasi was seven when they died. His sister, Merani was seventeen. One minute, we were out playing in the woods, and the next, we came home to find half the city slain. Only Torasi, Merani, Helios, and I survived of our entire neighbourhood, and it was only because of our magic that we were not sold as slaves. Merani raised us all as barely more than a child herself. And later, Torasi…." Xerides shook his head and went on in a subdued tone.

"We have seen hundreds of our loved ones die before us, some just as suddenly and unexpectedly as our families." He dragged his finger across the tablecloth, expression pensive and marked with millennia of loss. "I suppose I feel as though we should be honest and open while we have the chance. Tomorrow may be too late to say the things we want to say." 

Harry gave him a pointed look.

Xerides winced and looked away. "Well, I do understand there are some things that we cannot confess." His ears dropped. "Maybe certain things we know would only hurt. Those things, well, perhaps discretion is wise in those cases." His hand trembled on his wineglass, and Severus wondered what secrets the elf kept that hurt him so.

Xerides looked up once more. "But an apology? There is no reason to dawdle with it. It hurts both parties to keep it silent, and as I said, we never know when our time might run out." He shook his head and watched the window with eyes that had seen too much pain. "I hope those who matter to me most know that I love them."

Harry squeezed Xerides' hand. "I think they do, Xeri."

Xerides' ears dropped lower than Severus had ever seen them, and his aura cut like razor blades, but he gave Harry a wan smile nonetheless.

"Perhaps."

Hm. For all the elf spoke of being open with his feelings, he kept far too many secrets. Judging by Harry's expression, his mate agreed with that assessment.

Severus laid his fork aside and sipped at his wine, watching Xerides out of the corner of his eye. "Well, your theory may have some merit, Xerides. I kept my life entirely closed off for… hm. Twenty-three years now, I suppose, and I was miserable every day of those years. Since I began talking to Harry, however, I feel much better, and I think Harry does, too. Perhaps there is something to be said about being open with one's heart, at least with the people who deserve my confidence." Though he would certainly be more careful about who he trusted with his darkest secrets in the future, for everyone's sake.

The elf's flinch might have gone unnoticed by any other two people on the planet, but to a spy trained to read the slightest signal in others and a sunguard who loved Xerides as his dearest friend? No.

Harry sighed and squeezed Xerides' hand. "You _do_ know you can trust us, right? I'm pretty sure that's what Ves was getting at."

Xerides pulled his hand back with a wince. "I… yes, of course." At Harry and Severus' flat looks, he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You… may have a point. There are some things I am… not ready to speak of, but I will try to be more open with you in the future. Forgive me."

Severus shook his head. "There is nothing to forgive. Especially not from me. I would be quite the hypocrite to chide you for such a trait."

Harry gave him a wry smile. "Actually, so would I. Maybe we all need to work on talking to each other. Sound good?"

Xerides gave Harry a wan smile. "If it helps either of you heal, I am willing to try."

"You big sweetheart. Thank you." Harry laced his fingers with Severus'. "Ves, Xeri is trustworthy and discreet, if you need someone to talk to." He gave the elf a sorrowful smile. "Or if you need someone to talk to, Xeri."

By the way Xerides blanched, Severus guessed he wouldn't come to him with the troubles that worried Harry so.

Harry sighed. "Well, just try 'Mione then, okay?"

Xerides nodded, shaking visibly.

A hoot from the window made Harry wince. "And that will be the paper." He let the owl through the wards, checked him for spells and curses, and paid him for the delivery once he was sure the paper was clean. Xerides offered the bird the remainder of his meat and took the paper. 

"Thank you, friend."

The bird nudged his shoulder, took the meat, and flew away. Xerides opened the paper and stared. His breath stilled, his colour drained, and his eyes went wider with every word he read.

Oh, damn. _That_ wasn't good.

"Uh-oh." Harry gulped. "Xeri, how bad is it?"

The elf cried, "Oh, _fuck_!"

Harry made a strangled squeak. "Xeri?"

Severus had never heard Xerides curse, particularly in English. Granted, he hadn't lived there long, but Harry's reaction told him it was as rare an occurrence as he had assumed.

"Xerides." His firm voice brought the elf out of his daze with a jolt. "What kind of damage control will we need? Hermione and I can help Harry with a press release, but we need to know—"

"It isn't Harry." Xerides' eyes drifted to Severus, and Severus’ heart dropped. 

Harry's breath hitched. "Xeri? Shite, give it over, please."

Xerides handed the paper to Harry with trembling hands. "Oh, this isn't good. I think I must take refuge. Harry will be bombarded any moment."

Severus nodded to the door. "Go. Use your… listening device if you can."

"It doesn't work if there is too much magical interference in the house, but I will try." Xerides held Severus' gaze. "There is not much I can do to help with this situation, but I will support you however I can."

Severus' gut clenched in dread. "Thank you. Hurry, before you are seen."

Xerides nodded and dashed away. In his absence, Severus scooted closer to his mate. "Harry, let me read it as well, love."

Harry looked up, tears in his eyes. "Ves, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. If I hadn't lost my head…."

Severus tugged him into his side and kissed his hair. "Shh. You are not at fault for this, just as you said I am not for Captain Goldman's death."

Harry gave him an uncertain nod and scooted his chair close so he leaned against Severus' side. Severus held his waist and focused his attention on the headline. 

> **_Former Death Eater Accuses Heroes of the Light of Heinous Crimes; Slanders Aurors_ **
> 
> _By Thomas Wandhart_

Severus sucked in a sharp breath. "Merlin." He swallowed a wave of bile. "What has happened to Una?"

Harry winced. "I don't know. It… it might have slipped through on her day off." 

"I… hope that is all it is." Severus gathered his courage and forced himself to read. "Merlin help me."

Greengrass had tossed Una's no-nonsense style to the wayside and resurrected Skeeter, only with a blood fascist twist. The result left Severus shaking and nauseated. It revealed bits and pieces of Severus' story, but twisted as if he had been the deviant and aggressor and James Potter and friends the duped innocents. 

It was his worst nightmare in print form.

"Oh, _gods_."

Harry cupped Severus' face. Tears streaked his cheeks and his eyes blazed with holy fire. "We _will_ set this right. I will not let them make you into a scapegoat for the purebloods' crimes."

Severus pointed out one sentence with a shaking finger. _"What gives a former death eater upstart the right to accuse such pure, upstanding denizens of justice of any crime, let alone crimes so repellent, even seasoned representatives of the law hesitate to discuss them?"_

"They are going to hang me for it, Harry. They are going to sacrifice me so the pureblood status quo isn't questioned. I—we don't have the power to combat this."

Harry folded Severus in his wings and held him tight. "Love, we won't face it alone. Not this time."

"W-what are you suggesting?"

Harry's jaw tightened. "It's time to call in the cavalry."

"They hate me, Harry."

"No. Some of them are angry, but they know how I feel about you. And if they do attack you, then they can get the hell out of my house."

Severus shuddered in his arms a moment, then rallied his strength and stood. "We cannot stay silent now. They will kill me for my silence, and that will also kill you. I will _not_ lose you. I have lost everything that matters until you brought meaning into my life again. I will _not_ give you up!"

Harry grabbed Severus' hands. "That's right, love. We aren't going to take this lying down. We're going to call in the family and tell them your story first, and then we're going forward, directly to the public, as the heroes and leaders of the war. Fuck the pureblood regime and their bigotry. They're going down for this."

Severus hesitated. "We… won't let anyone else die?"

"No. We aren't going through a middle man this time. There's no one to silence besides us, and between our síoda, the DA fighters, Bill, me, you, and Xeri's bow, well, good luck to anyone who fucks with us. They're going to need it."

Severus closed his eyes. "There is no choice now but to come out with the full story."

"No, love. They're going to see us both as traitors otherwise. By now, most of Britain knows we're at least friends."

Severus took a shaky breath and sat at the table again. "I—if we do this, pet, everyone will know. They will know what they did to me. They will know I was too weak to fight them off." His voice broke. "They will know that I—that my body…." 

"Oh, Ves." 

Harry scooped Severus into his arms, cradled him close, and wrapped his wings around him. The soft, strong curve of one wing cupped Severus' head and tucked him in, and the other wrapped around his back and shoulders, and Severus gave a shuddering sob of sheer relief. Harry's wings provided a warm cocoon of safety. No one could reach him inside his mate's embrace. No one could even see him there, hidden as he was in piles of red and orange feathers.

Severus turned his face into Harry's shoulder and let his defenses drop. Harry would shield him. He had never felt as safe or as loved as he did at that moment, danger be damned.

Harry murmured, "I'm here, love. I have you. Whatever happens, even if it gets as bad as we fear, I'll be right here beside you."

"What if they put me in Azkaban anyway, Harry? If we present all our evidence to the public, and the Wizengamot still comes after me?"

"Then they'll find out that sunguards can be rather difficult to subdue when their mate is threatened. They'll put you in Azkaban over my dead body, Ves, and that is not an easy feat to accomplish."

"Unless they kill me."

"Let them try it. I'll destroy anyone who dares try to harm you."

By the aura of holy fire that had formed around their bodies and was merrily roasting the chairs under them, Severus believed it.

"Harry, you have set your kitchen on fire."

Harry made a choked sound of shock, and the fire vanished. 

"Er… oops?"

Severus couldn't help it. The absurdity of the entire situation got the better of him, and he buried a bout of snickers and laughs in Harry's shoulder.

Harry stroked his hair and cheek. "Oh, I love to hear you laugh. Think I can manage to make that happen without setting the house on fire one day?"

Severus chuckled and squeezed Harry tight. "I hope so, Harry."

Harry caressed Severus’ face, rubbing away the sudden tears he couldn't stop. "Shh. Just hold on to me, love. I have you, and I won't let them hurt you. It'll be okay. You'll see."

Severus nodded and clung to his mate, taking comfort from his warmth and the shelter of his wings. 

"Ves, I—"

The floo rang and interrupted Harry's soft words. 

"Harry! Oh, I'm so glad you're all right."

Molly. Severus winced and hoped this wouldn't go as badly as he feared.

"Have you _seen_ the Prophet, Harry? I know you care about him, but this explains so many things I didn't understand for years, and—"

"Molly." Harry's tone came out frigid. "Everything in that article is utter rubbish. Severus was the _victim_. Some jumped up pureblood arsehole just didn't want the boat rocked and sold that to the Prophet in hope of forcing Severus silent. Or of getting us both killed."

She sighed in what sounded like pity. "Oh, Harry. I know it's hard to believe of someone you care about, but your family—"

"Were murderous arseholes and rapists! I've seen the evidence, Molly, or did you think I set Godric's Hollow on fire for _fun_?" Harry cupped Severus closer. "Besides, I'll thank you not to tear my mate apart right in front of him."

"Evidence! What evidence? It happened twenty years ago if it happened at all, and—wait, _what_?" Molly made a choked off sound of shock. " _What_ did you say?"

Severus gently eased Harry's wings back and stood. He turned to the floo, not bothering to hide the evidence of his tears, and spoke in a lethally cold voice, its power not at all diminished by the occasional break. "He asked you to cease attacking his mate when I am right here and can hear every word you say. As for what evidence convinced him of this, he saw it happen. Memories are evidence enough for the courts."

Harry lifted a hand, and a taped-together piece of parchment sailed into his grip. "See for yourself. Mum knew how evil James was in the end. She wrote him out of her will and denied him custody."

Molly took the letter and read it, her eyes wide and face blanching further with every word. "Oh. Oh, Merlin. I—Severus…."

"Don't bother apologising, Molly. Your opinions of me are still ringing in my ears."

Harry took the letter back. "Are you ready to listen now?"

Molly dropped her head in shame. "Yes. I… was wrong to say what I did."

"Yes. You were. Maybe think about this the next time you read rubbish like this and assume you know better than someone who spent the past three years watching over Severus and protecting him. 

"Merlin, didn't you see that article about Captain Goldman? He was murdered _an hour_ after we left the DMLE. He was trying to hand in the report of Severus' testimony, and someone killed him before he could, and even better, the aurors are trying to cover it up. Then this happens three days later? Molly, open your eyes. The purebloods have it in for Severus. This rubbish in the Prophet is just some idiot malcontent running a smear campaign against…."

Harry frowned at his mate. "Wait a minute. Love, who on earth could have done this? The aurors who took your testimony swore to represent you honestly and not to act with bias, but no one else _knew_. Who could have killed Captain Goldman, and who could have leaked this?"

Severus rubbed his chin. "There are two possibilities, I think: Fawley and Dawson."

"But Goldman kicked Fawley off the case before it started, and Dawson didn't hear the bit about Riddle assaulting you, but that's in the Prophet article. Well, a twisted version of it anyway. Who could have had all this information?"

Severus hesitated. "I… don't know. I will need to think on it, but instinct tells me Fawley and Dawson are involved somehow."

Harry grimaced. "Then they are. Damn. Well, just keep trying to work it out. We'll talk to Luc as soon as we safely can and find out what he knows. In the meantime, we had better call in the others and get this sorted on the home front. We're going to need all the help we can get."

Severus nodded. "You may as well come through, Molly. We shall have the entire battalion here soon."

Molly sighed and stepped through. "Severus, for what it's worth, I _am_ sorry."

Severus gave her a curt nod, all he could trust himself to say in response, and returned his attention to his mate. "I think we will need copies of that letter, pet."

Harry nodded and obeyed.


	12. A Family Meeting

* * *

#  **Chapter 12**

##  _A Family Meeting_

Harry paced the floor of his living room, altered to have far more seating than usual, and tried to keep his flames under control. Fuck. Why could he never have just one bloody moment of peace? 

And Severus! Merlin, what had he done to deserve this never-ending campaign to ruin his life? No wonder the man had been so cold and bitter. Who could he trust with the soft parts of his heart when so many had taken such umbrage to his existence? Even now, the few people who had gathered at the manor and seated themselves around Harry looked at his distraught mate with suspicion and anger. Even with Severus obviously on the verge of tears, they still treated him like rubbish.

It wasn't bloody _right_.

"Harry! Severus!"

Hermione's call made everyone in the room jump and stare at her in shock, Severus included.

Hermione came running in from the family entrance at the back of the house and tackled Harry into a tearful hug. "Oh, Harry! I'm so sorry! Merlin, it just never ends, does it?"

He stepped back and nodded, jaw tight. "Wouldn't get too close if I were you. I'm having trouble keeping my fire back."

Hermione nodded and wiped her eyes. "Can't blame you." She turned to Severus just as her husband jogged in. "Oh, Severus. Are you okay?" 

From the way she rocked on her heels and fidgeted her hands in her pockets, Harry knew she only held herself back from hugging Severus out of respect for his phobia of touch. 

Severus gave her a sharp look.

Hermione nodded and hugged her chest. "Of course you aren't. Stupid question." She hesitated. "I… I know you don't know us like you do Harry, but we're here for you, all right?"

Ron squeezed her shoulder and offered Severus his hand. "All the way, mate. You're family now, and that means we have your back. Whether you want us to or not," he added with a wry smile.

Severus squeezed Ron's hand and let his head fall. Harry knew through weeks of familiarity he was trying to conceal how much their support had affected him. Harry smoothed his mate's silky hair, ignoring the dumbfounded looks of those who didn't know of Severus' place in Harry's life.

Neville came through the fire and took Harry's other hand. "I'm sorry, mate. No idea what went on to cause all this, but your family knows that article in the Prophet was so much rubbish." He gave Severus a sad smile. "How are you holding up, sir?"

Severus stared at him, eyes wide with shock. "You… care? I—why? Why do you support me? I had thought…."

Ginny and Michael came through and gave Neville bemused looks.

"I suppose it's because I support Harry, sir." Neville gave him a wan smile. "And it's been blatantly obvious that Harry loves you for months. Maybe longer."

Ginny stiffened. "He—what?"

Harry ignored her. "Nev—gods." He brought the man into a hug. "Bloody hell, thank you."

Neville nodded. "What happened, Harry? Why is the Prophet out to get Professor Snape all of a sudden? Are they just looking for someone to blame for Godric's Hollow?"

Several people blushed and lowered their heads, expressions shamed.

Harry shook his head. "It's far worse than that, but you're on the right track."

Neville sighed. "I thought I must be. Wandhart is a self-righteous prick, and Merlin knows we dealt with the Prophet enough about you." His eyes turned hard. "Besides, I know full well those four had secrets. Well, not so much Professor Lupin or Black, but James Potter and Pettigrew weren't to be trusted."

" _What_?" Ginny's cry brought the room around to stare at her. "Nev, what are you _saying_?"

"Oh, Sirius was in on it, too," Harry said with a growl. "He damn near murdered Severus, not to mention literally torturing him."

"Dear gods. I hadn't realized Sirius, too…." Neville shuddered. "Harry, you were very lucky, I think, not to be raised by such men."

"My relatives weren't much better, but yeah, I get what you mean. How did you know, though?"

Neville shook his head. "Dad warned me away from them. Well, rather, he told Gran and she told me about it later when she worked out why I was so scared of the professor. Dad said he didn't know what those two were up to, but whatever it was, it had hurt Professor Snape enough to drive him to suicide." He kept going over a round of gasps and denials. "And the headmaster ignored him when he tried to speak up about it. Dad figured then that pureblood politics were in play, and he was building a case to try to get Potter investigated, but…."

"But then the war happened and he had to protect his own family. Merlin." 

"Yeah. It gets worse, though. You know how your potions gave Mum and Dad some coherence back? When I went to visit him and told him it was you he had to thank for his recovery, he was _afraid_. He begged me to stay away from your dad. He didn't know he's been dead all this time. And when I told him _that_ , I swear he was _relieved_."

"Bloody hell," Ron breathed.

Neville nodded. "He asked about the Professor, too. If he was okay. I told him I didn't know. I said he had seemed really down after the war ended, but that you and Lucius were putting him back together, and _then_ he quizzed me on you—not Lucius, _you_. The idea of a Potter taking care of Professor Snape terrified him more than a man he knew as a Death Eater."

"With damn good reason," Harry said in a tone a half-step up from a growl. "Even at his worst, Luc never _dreamed_ of the things they did."

"Bloody _hell_ ," Ginny said, ashen and clinging to Michael's shoulder.

Harry gave her a grim look and turned back to Neville. "What did you say, Nev?"

"I'm sure you can imagine. When I mentioned you saving the Professor, first from Nagini, then from prison—"

"And then from myself," Severus muttered.

Harry stroked his hair and motioned Neville on. "Anyway, when I told him everything you had done to see justice done for him, Dad said he could pass on the torch of protecting the professor to someone who had done it better."

Harry closed his eyes and swallowed a wave of emotion. "Merlin. I— _Merlin_. I never knew…."

"Y-yeah."

Harry crossed his arms over his chest. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Neville dropped his gaze. "We thought they were dead, Harry. We had no idea Black was involved, either, so all it would have done was cause you needless pain. Besides, I thought no one would believe me. They didn't believe Dad."

Harry grimaced. "Until Ves showed me the truth, you might have been right. Damn."

Severus pulled Harry's hand against his heart, a gesture of forgiveness. "I think you would have listened, Harry. You listened to me even when we were enemies."

Harry ignored the sputtering and denials all around. "I hope so."

"I am sure of it." Severus gave Neville a look full of grief. "I had no idea Frank tried to help me. I—he guarded me the last half of the year, after my suicide attempts. It wasn't necessary by that point, but I remember seeing him shadowing me quite a bit, now that I think of it."

Ginny sank into a nearby chair with a gasp. "Dear gods. You mean, what Nev is saying—his dad was _right_?"

"In the worst way." Harry rubbed Severus' hair with his free hand. "We're going to tell you all about it as soon as everyone gets here, but it's excruciating for both of us to relive it, so I'd prefer to only need to do this twice more."

Michael frowned. "Twice?"

"To you, and to the public to have this libel retracted and corrected," Hermione explained despite having no prior knowledge of their plans.

"Exactly." Harry laced his fingers with Severus' and glared at the room at large. "No way in hell will I let this stand."

"None of us will," Ron agreed. "Not once they understand the truth. You have your mum's letter?"

Harry nodded. "And stacks of copies."

"Good. Then we'll just take our seats and wait for the others." 

"Thanks, mate."

"It's what family does."

"Yes." Hermione gave Severus a sad smile. "We're here for you if you need us, Severus."

"Thank you," Severus murmured, garnering quite a few shocked looks. 

Harry glared the gawkers into submission. "Right, who are we missing then?" He did a headcount and frowned. King was probably still investigating Goldman's murder and already knew the full story anyway, and McGonagall had a school to run, but where was Remus? Harry shivered at a wave of dread. 

He had to be okay. Teddy had probably just put up a fuss.

The door opened just then, and an irritated Remus stepped in with Teddy bundled against his chest. Thank Merlin.

"Ruddy blood purist arseholes," Remus muttered under his breath and flopped into a seat across from Harry and Severus. "Sorry I'm late. I tried to get the Prophet to retract that utter _rubbish_ they printed this evening, but no one wants to listen to the 'slavering beast' half-blood, never mind that I was bloody well _there_ to see it happen."

Several heads whirled around and gaped at the werewolf. 

McGonagall, having just stepped through the floo, vanished the soot from her dress and gave a little huff of annoyance. "As did I. Again, they had more interest in listening to the purebloods who paid them off than people who witnessed the events in question." She gave Severus a sorrowful look. "I will keep trying, though. I failed you once, Severus. I won't let it happen again."

Harry fixed her with a dark glare. "Doesn't excuse the first time you sat by and did fuck all to help him."

She looked as though she might correct his language, then slumped in defeat. "No. It doesn't. Still, all I can do now is apologise and try to make sure it never happens again." She gave Severus a sorrowful look. "And I _am_ sorry. More than I can say."

Harry glared at her until a gentle stroke against his wing soothed him. 

"Thank you, Minerva," Severus said. "I am grateful for your support."

"Late as it is," Ron muttered.

Hermione didn't chide him, which spoke volumes for her opinion of McGonagall's behaviour.

"Yes, I know," McGonagall said with a sigh. "I will do what I can to make amends."

At a stern look from Severus, Harry relented with a sigh. "Oh, all right. Just don't do it again."

"Neither of us will," said Remus.

"You fought them, Lupin." Severus' eyes held deep sorrow and shame. "You do not recall it, but I never forgot."

Remus stared in shock. "I… fought them? I… you mean I _didn't_ stand by and do nothing for seven years? I've hated myself for it all this time, and you're saying I _didn't_ let you down, or at least not altogether?"

"No. You fought them harder than anyone to save me."

Remus sank against the back of his chair, eyes wide and mouth gaping. "I—but… why don't I remember it?"

Severus crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the floor, hair hiding his face. "Because I _Obliviated_ you rather than admit to what they had done to me. To what I…." He shuddered and spoke in a broken murmur. "I couldn't stop them."

Andromeda looked from the Prophet in her hands to Severus' shaking form and went ashen. "Oh, dear _Merlin_ , no."

Severus didn't manage to hide a flinch. Harry sat beside him and held one arm near his back. 

"Is it okay to hold you right now, love, or do you need space?"

Severus ignored the gasps and denials and leaned into Harry's arms. "I hate this. I hate having to relive the worst moments of my life because the public would rather see me hanged than hear the truth. I hate knowing innocent people are _dead_ because I dared to seek justice, and I am terrified it may be more than one."

The group went utterly silent.

Without acknowledging their shock, Harry tugged Severus against his side. "I know, Ves. I have you. We'll get through it, somehow."

"I don't want anyone else to die for this."

"No one will. Shh. It's going to be okay. We'll fix it. We just need to gather support."

"Yes." Severus took a deep breath and steeled himself. He threw up his occlumency shields and, in an instant, became the war-hardened hero Harry had first fallen for rather than his quiet, retiring mate.

Gods, how he loved both sides of this brave, brilliant man.

Severus stood, giving no sign of the terror coursing through him beyond his pallor and trembling hands. He folded the latter over his waist.

"I'm quite sure all of you have, by now, worked out my relationship to Harry. To put it bluntly, yes, we are in a relationship. Yes, I am his mate. No, we are not bonded yet. No, I am not manipulating him to increase my status or whatever ridiculous ideas half of you are trying, and failing, to hide." He gave Percy and Seamus a pointed look, and both men blushed and looked away.

"The fact of the matter is that, due to Albus' ruthless manipulations and the cruelty of Potter et al—Lupin notwithstanding— because of the eugenicist machinations of the pureblood supremacy and my own foolish mistakes, I have had to wear a mask all these years. I had no choice but to be cruel, or innocents would have died."

Severus paced, hands clenched together behind his back. "Most of you already know the majority of that. My actions during the war are no secret, regardless of the fact that the public picks and chooses their heroes and I have never made the cut." He waved off a few uncomfortable protests and Harry's fierce denial. "It doesn't matter. I never wanted fame or recognition. I only wanted peace."

He stopped and swallowed hard, shoulders shaking with the effort to maintain his shields. Harry wanted to hold him, but he knew too well that Severus needed to stand on his own at the moment.

Still, Harry could support him.

He laid a gentle hand against Severus' back. "I'm here, love." 

Severus nodded his thanks and resumed pacing. "But until Harry came for me, until he supported me in the darkest hours of my life, I never found peace in any form. Potter Senior, Albus, and Riddle denied me at every turn. Last night, it was stolen from me again. And today, my literal worst nightmare came to bear in p-print. Or perhaps the second worst, now that I have people who care about me, but it is certainly dreadful enough." 

His breath hitched and his shoulders rolled forwards. Harry rubbed Severus' back with slow, soothing strokes and folded his wing around his mate's trembling body. Severus leaned into his touch briefly, then turned to face the others. 

"What you saw in the papers tonight is a deliberate falsification of the facts to spare the purebloods' image. I…." He paused and gave a sharp-eyed Fleur and a grim Remus a worried look. "Madam Delacour-Weasley, the… information we are about to discuss is particularly troubling for veela. It would be wise to pass your little one into your husband's care for a moment. You as well, Lupin."

Remus winced and gave Teddy to his grandmother. Fleur blanched.

"Mon dieu," she breathed. "Oh, Professeur, is eet… as bad as I zink?"

Severus nodded tersely. 

Fleur cursed under her breath and passed a sleeping Victoire into a white-faced Bill's arms. Bill held her tight and cast a silencing charm around the three-month-old. Andromeda cast one of her own around a dozing, but still too curious Teddy.

"Now then, that article you read this evening?" Severus stood with his shoulders tight and arms held in a defensive position. "The facts were… reversed. I was not the instigator. I was their _victim_."

* * *

Severus waited for the shock on the others' faces to shift into understanding, then horror, then the fury he stood ready for. Harry moved to his side, one arm around Severus' waist and the other held before him and ready to cast. 

"No," Ginny cried, but her face held more horror and shock than anger. "No, you have to be lying."

"He isn't." Harry summoned the copies of Lily's letter and sent one flying to each person there. "Mum wrote that for me just before she died. She knew my arsehole of a father was dangerous. She wanted to get me away from him and apologise to Ves, but there wasn't time. Judging by the date on her will, Riddle killed them the same night she sealed this in Gringotts for me. Read it."

Some obeyed, others stared at Severus, dumbstruck.

Lupin gave a stifled whine of horror. "S-Severus, please, tell me. You're saying…?"

Severus forced his voice to work. Perhaps that his words came out unsteady and broken would help them believe. "They raped me. Repeatedly. And Black cursed and tortured me while they did it."

Lupin jerked to his feet and stepped forwards, his face twisted in grief. Severus only resisted stepping back by virtue of Harry's wing steadying him. Reacting on instinct trained into him by years of fighting for his life, he shifted into a defensive posture and lifted his hands. A shield of purple light shot from his palms— _wandless_ shields? _Purple_ shields at that? The light surrounded Harry and himself, and Severus only had time to be grateful for their protection, no matter their origin.

Severus cried, "Stop, Lupin! If you hurt me, you hurt Harry!"

Hermione, Ron, Luna, and Neville jumped to stand at his side, wands out. Dean gave Severus a look of soul-deep horror, then moved to stand beside Neville. Seamus hesitated an instant, then threw off his doubts and took a position next to Dean. The síoda, too, formed a semicircle in front of them, looking quite as fierce as his human guardians.

Dear gods. Severus hadn't imagined so many would care. Oh, Merlin. He had _protectors_. People willing to fight not just on the same side, not even with him, but _for_ him. He had to fight to keep his eyes clear and his emotions steady. 

Lupin pulled up short and lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Severus—Merlin. Yes, I'm furious. Of course I'm furious. I'm so angry, I could kill someone, but I'm not angry at _you_." He raked a hand over his face. "I just…." He lifted his head. "The memories you _Obliviated_. Will you s-show me?"

Severus grimaced. "Lupin, you don't want to see that."

"I need to know. I spent my entire life thinking I let you suffer and—please. Don't show me… what happened if you can't bear it, but I need to know what I did."

Severus closed his eyes. "I…."

Harry stroked through his hair. "Love, it's up to you. If you want to show him, I'll support you."

Severus swallowed a lump of revulsion and shame. "I have the dreadful feeling I shall have to show more than Lupin soon enough."

"Severus, would you call me Remus, please? I…." Lupin let his head fall. "I know it's too late. Whatever I did, I should have kept doing it. James told me the… _relationship_ between you was mutual, but I always felt like something was _wrong_ and I never understood why. I should have asked you. I should have done something. Anything. All I can say in my defence is that I was young and naïve, and those red flags I saw didn't mesh into a cohesive whole until just now, when you told me a truth I should have realised long ago. I'm sorry, Severus, that I failed you so badly."

Severus closed his eyes tight so the tears stinging his eyelids wouldn't fall. All this time, he had believed no one cared. Now he knew at least two of his peers had been concerned for him, even if they hadn't known how to help.

It was enough. Maybe a year ago, he would have scoffed at such a late apology, but now, he had healed enough to take it for the peace offering it was. Life was too short to hold grudges. 

For humans at least. 

Severus offered his hand. "Remus, then."

Remus didn't manage to hide his own tears. "Severus, oh, gods. I'm so bloody sorry."

"I know. It… it was never your fault."

"I—"

"Remus," Moody challenged, "you can't say you actually _believe_ this? That Potter and your friends would have—well, Pettigrew, maybe—but the others? There's nothing dark about _that_ lot." He glared at Severus. "I don't know how you convinced Harry that you could ever be a sunguard's mate, but I—"

"Step back, DA," Harry growled. 

Dean gaped at him. "What?"

"All of you around us, step back now."

Hermione winced and herded Ron and Neville away. Luna did the same for the others. 

"Right." Harry's eyes blazed golden. "Let's just clear this little mate bond issue up now, shall we?" 

Severus really should have expected the wall of fire surging around him and his mate, but it still shocked a quiet yelp from him. 

"Merlin, Harry. A little warning the next time you intend to send me up in flames would be appreciated."

Harry snorted. "Sorry, love." He let the fire down, revealing his unharmed mate. "Anyone else who stuck a finger in that would've lost it. Also?" He tugged Severus down and kissed his forehead and rubbed his cheeks. "I'll thank you to notice I can touch him without hurting him. Anyone who saw me dispatch Greyback or fight Quirrell can tell you that would most certainly not be the case if Severus had an evil bone in his body." He kissed Severus' cheek and turned back to glare at the old auror. "Any other stupid questions?"

Moody huffed. "Well, he might not be evil, but I still think this is all a ridiculous lie. What are you after then? His money? His reputation?"

Severus glared. "I have money of my own, and since when have I given a damn what the public thinks of me?"

"Well, you must be after _something_."

"Moody," Ron snapped. "One more word, and _I'll_ bloody well kick your arse, let alone what Harry will do to you. Shut it already."

"I can't believe he has the lot of you fooled! You're all—"

The door opened, and Kingsley rushed in. "Harry, Severus, sorry I'm late. Couldn't get away from the absolutely unrelated case I can't talk about."

Harry winced. "So Goldman _was_ trying to turn in Severus' report when they killed him?"

Several shocked gasps sounded.

"I know absolutely nothing about that." But his grim tone made it clear enough.

Harry folded his wing around his mate. "Severus' instincts say Fawley and Dawson are involved somehow."

"Fawley _or_ Dawson," Severus corrected. "I am positive one is responsible for the murder, the other for the leak in the Prophet."

"How? Neither of them heard the full story."

"About that." Kingsley's expression hardened. "I found evidence of an eavesdropping charm on the conference room where we took your evidence, Severus. It's possible that either could be our leak."

Severus frowned. "An eavesdropping charm? Surely I would have noticed. I would have sensed—wait. There was a burst of unfamiliar magic right as Harry swallowed the Veritaserum. I had assumed it was a reaction to dosing a sunguard, but the more I think of it, the less likely it seems."

"Dawson was still in the room then," said Harry with a grim look.

"Then that means Fawley is the leak and Dawson is your killer."

Kingsley shook his head. "I'm not sure the department will buy your instincts as evidence, but the information you gave about the charm might be enough, taken in context with other information I've picked up, to secure a Veritaserum trial. Assuming I ask the right people."

"You would know who they are better than we do," Harry said with a shake of his head. "Gods, this is so messed up. All Severus is trying to do is seek the justice that utter dick denied him, and now people are dead for it and the public is going to be baying for _our_ blood any minute unless Ves airs everything, publicly, when people still treat him like rubbish for no goddamn reason!" He shot Molly and Moody dark glares. "This isn't right, King."

"The world isn't right," Severus said in a quiet, subdued tone. "It isn't even based on a system of right and wrong. We are living in an era of bigoted purebloods against everyone else, and anyone who disagrees is, by default, wrong. I am suffering for daring to stand up to my rapists and see the truth known. Captain Goldman is dead for trying to help me. And anyone who stands with me might well be next." 

He shuddered and looked away. "All of you should go. Go and pretend you know nothing. I want no more innocent blood on my hands."

"Severus!" Harry turned his mate to face him, eyes flashing in anger. "You have no blood on your hands at all. That uppity bitch killed him, not you, and you did nothing wrong by telling the truth."

"I… but… if I hadn't spoken…."

"Then we would still be in this mess because I bloody well _would have_." Harry cupped Severus' face. "Listen to me, love. No matter what happens now, _they_ are the monsters with innocent blood on their hands. Fawley, Dawson, my arsehole of a father and his deviant friends, and Albus-fucking-Dumbledore are the only evil bastards here. Not you. Never you."

Minerva gasped. "Severus? I… what about Albus?"

Severus hesitated. 

"Ves." Harry stroked his mate's cheeks. "It's all right. We won't let them suffer. You're innocent."

Severus took a shaky breath. "V-very well. I will try."

Harry tucked Severus' hair behind his ears, sending shocks of heat through him. Bloody hell, why _now_? 

"I'm proud of you, love."

Severus tucked Harry into his arms. "Stay close?"

"Yeah." Harry moved to stand at his side, but he left his arm around Severus' waist and folded his wing around the man's back.

"This memory, I think, will clear up any remaining doubts." Severus shot Moody a dark look, and the auror huffed. 

"Assuming it's a true memory," Moody muttered.

"Well, as I've already seen and tested all of them," Kingsley said in a fierce growl, "I'd advise you to take your head out of your arse and stop acting like the pricks Goldman sacked four nights ago for this kind of behaviour. You call yourself an auror? Where the hell is your compassion? Where the hell is your sense of justice? Or are you another shill for the pureblood regime? How many more have to die before you wake up and smell the blood on their hands, Mad-Eye?"

Moody reeled back. "Merlin, Kingsley. I'm no pureblood bigot. It's just… once a Death Eater…."

"Dumbledore drove him to the dark," Harry snapped. "That's right, the leader of the light, the so-called hero you sods have all been worshipping for years, _that_ Dumbledore. He sold Severus out and bound him to silence for _politics_. Oh, and gave me to child abusers against my parents' wishes so I would grow up to be a nice, obedient little child weapon. And told Severus he would have to send his own mate and the only person besides Luc who ever had any faith in him to his death to end the war. _And_ forced him into spying. _And_ utterly ignored Mum Weasley and Ron and all the redhead brigade when they told him I was being starved, beaten, and damn near worked to death every summer just because I'm a goddamn wizard. And—"

"Enough, pet." Severus ran a soothing hand down Harry's spine. "Shh. You are right, but saying it will do no good. They will need to see it with their own eyes before they believe, assuming they believe us at all."

Harry nodded grimly. "My memories first? So yours have more support?"

"As you wish."

Harry squeezed his hand. "Right." He drew a silver thread of memory onto his wand. " _Legilimens_ _Appareo_." An image of an eleven-year-old Harry walking through Hogwarts appeared before him, a bit like watching a muggle telly.

"Merlin," Severus gasped. "What… you do not need a pensieve?"

Harry hesitated. "I didn't have a modern-day mind mage to teach me. I learned everything I know from far more ancient sources, and there were several spells we've forgotten over the years. I don't need a pensieve to view them either."

"None of us do," said Hermione. "Harry, a sample memory, please?"

Harry sent Ron and Hermione a small snippet of sharing stories about Ron's lack of modesty with Severus. They caught it with their wands and breathed the mist in. A moment later, both burst into giggles.

"No, you're right about that, mate." Ron snickered. "Too many brothers to have any shame."

"That's exactly what I said," Harry said with a chuckle. " _Tardo mema_." The memory froze. "We know quite a few tricks. I'll teach you later, Ves. And our aurors, assuming Moody can take his head out of his arse long enough to learn."

Moody huffed. "Oh, just get on with it, would you?" His expression shifted into concern. "If… if what you're saying _is_ true, King and I need to be at the department. Now. Before all hell breaks loose."

"Fair enough. _Resumo_." The memory continued, showing Harry guessing passwords at the headmaster's gargoyle. "This, ladies and gentlemen, is from my first year at Hogwarts, about a month before the end of term. Enjoy having your delusions shattered." Memory Harry entered Albus' office, and Severus watched the scene play out along with the others.

_"Headmaster, I…." Little Harry took a deep breath and steeled himself. "I need help."_


	13. A Dangerous Truth

#  **Chapter 13**

##  _A Dangerous Truth_

Harry struggled to keep his fire in check as he played four memories in a row, each of the same scene in different years. 

> _"Headmaster, my uncle and aunt are really mean. They don't feed me and they hurt me all the time. I don't want to go back there. Please."_

•

> _"Headmaster, my uncle nearly killed me last summer. He locked me in my room for four days. I wasn't even allowed out to use the loo. They… they just… put a bucket in there. I didn't get water_ — _just cold tinned soup. I was so sick. Please, send me somewhere else. Anywhere else."_

•

> _"Headmaster, do you even care that my relatives are trying to kill me? I have a godfather now. Let me live with him. Or, failing that, send me to the Weasleys. I'd be safer there than anywhere else."_

•

> _"Is there even any point in this?" Harry, now in fourth year, lifted his shirt to reveal a dark scar across his side, long and deep. "That would be where my uncle tried to slice me in half while my aunt screeched at me for getting blood on her precious floors. I can't be your good little weapon if they kill me before I get the chance."_

Severus muttered a curse and tucked Harry into his arms. "If I ever find those monsters…."

Harry leaned against his chest and let his mate's affection and protectiveness soothe him.

The next memory showed Harry learning of the prophecy in fifth year and destroying the headmaster's office. The accusations flew, but one rang in Harry's ears and made him wonder if it had merit.

> _"Convenient, isn't it, that the one person with the right to take me from the Dursleys' is dead now. I wonder, Headmaster, if that's not the real reason you showed up so late to the party."_

The slamming of the door in Harry's memory didn't cover the sound of his friends' gasps of horror. 

From there, Harry showed them his memories of the wills in his vault. Well, his mother's at least. He would never torture Severus with the contents of his father's.

> _'Under no condition is custody of my son to be granted to….'_

"She denied him custody," Arthur breathed. "She denied her husband custody and granted it to Remus and Severus."

"She knew." Harry lifted his copy of the letter from his mother. "I discovered that two days before Severus contacted me and apologised for everything. He had no knowledge of the letter. He still hasn't seen the latter half of it." Harry gave him a copy, too. "I'm here for you, love."

"Thank you."

Harry nodded, then turned a sharp look on the gaping crowd. "Those of you who didn't do it the first time, read the bloody letter. _Now_."

The group obeyed, some with red cheeks and others with tears in their eyes. Severus leaned against Harry and read the latter half of the letter, and Harry watched the expressions on everyone's face shift from confusion, to shock, and into alarm.

"Harry," Andromeda said in a wavering voice, "you… you mean to tell me your father raped your mate, repeatedly, and you—the two of you only have _one year_ to work past it and bond before…?"

"We have already discussed it," Severus said, his voice quiet but firm. "I am in no way recovered enough to bond yet, but Harry and I have made great strides in overcoming my trauma these past few months. This… this catastrophe has set me back, but I do believe, with Harry's support, I shall be able to bond to him soon enough. That said, if I am still not healed enough in a year's time, we will bond the day prior to his birthday regardless and deal with the aftermath as it comes. I would, of course, prefer to wait until we are both ready for such a step, but I will not see him burn for his father's cruelty."

"This time," someone muttered.

Harry glared in that general direction. "Yes, Ves was cold to me for a long time because my father and Dumbledore _traumatised_ him. He was bloody well terrified and suffering, but until now, he couldn't seek help for it no thanks to the old bastard. And, either way, I've forgiven Severus for my Hogwarts days. You have no right to hold a grudge for it when I don't. Not for me anyway."

"I agree," said McGonagall, "but… are you certain Albus had politics in mind when he bound Severus? It is unconscionable either way, but to think we were all serving a man as cruel and selfish as all that… Merlin forgive me, but it is so very difficult to endure. I—you are sure?"

Severus nodded. "In seventh year, the night I came into the shack after Lupin on the full moon? Black thought I went unawares, and I never corrected him, but it was a suicide attempt, not an accidental discovery. I _wanted_ to die. To escape them, though I might have chosen a way to do it that did not harm others as well."

Remus paled. "Oh, gods. You… knew?"

"I worked out that your illnesses fell on the full moon, barring a few other illnesses here and there, before I was in my third year. There was no reason to reveal my knowledge as you did, at least, try to keep them from hurting me."

Remus flushed. "I-I was so afraid."

"And so was I, of being tortured all my life, when I went into the shack that night." Severus lowered his head. "I am relieved, for your sake and my mate's, that my attempt failed, even if Potter did attack me again immediately afterwards."

"I… oh. But why did you report my condition in Harry's third year then?" Remus winced. "Though, you were right to. I endangered them, both by my cowardice and irresponsibility."

"I did not report you, actually. I was still wrestling with my loyalty to you, despite what masks I had to wear, and the fact that you had endangered them. I had decided to give you another chance and simply keep a closer eye on your potions schedule when Minerva chided me for holding old grudges against you. I do not know who reported you without a doubt, but I have my suspicions."

Harry scowled. "Dumblefuck reported him after he used Remus as a cover to force you into silence?"

"Yes, or so I believe. And continued to insist he had done it for Lupin's protection to the last moment despite the fact that I was there to hear the truth."

"That… that…." Harry released a stream of curses in what Severus assumed was Elvish, as well as a few in English, Latin, and Greek. "Four languages, and I still don't have strong enough curses to describe what an utter _bastard_ he was."

Severus stroked Harry's hair to soothe them both.

"That… this just can't _be_ ," Moody said, but he looked more horrified than angry this time.

Severus ignored him. "To return to my story, as Alastor is correct that he and Kingsley need to hurry, Potter found me in the tunnel under the Whomping Willow just as I opened the trapdoor to the shack. I caught a glimpse of Lupin as a werewolf, but Potter slammed the door and dragged me away before he had time to attack. He—he r-raped me again in the tunnel. He said he _owned_ me. That I would never escape. So, as soon as he left me, I raided the potions storage room and drank the first poison I could find."

McGonagall gasped. "Sweet Circe! I remember now. Little Essie Burnett found you half naked and on the verge of death in the potions corridor."

Tears streaked his face, but Severus went on. "Yes. Poppy revived me and took me into therapy. She asked me why I had done it. What pain was so awful I would rather face a werewolf and drink poison than endure it."

Harry wrapped Severus in his arms and wings, cautiously holding him from behind. Severus tensed.

"Damn!" Harry lifted his arms away. "Do you need me to move, Ves?"

"Please," Severus whispered. "D-don't hold me like this."

Harry moved away, hands up and facing Severus. "Okay, love. Do you want me to hold you from the front instead or give you space?"

Severus grabbed Harry into his arms. "Like this."

"Okay. Okay." Harry folded Severus in his arms and wings and pressed his head against Severus' shoulder, and Severus could breathe again.

"I believe him," Andromeda said through horrified tears. "I've been helping Narcissa with her secret adoption agency for abused children, and I've seen that reaction in too many little survivors now to doubt it."

Severus frowned. "They are afraid of being held from behind?"

"Not necessarily that, but your stance, the way you froze and tensed, ready to run or fight. The break in your voice. That I've seen quite often." She hesitated. "Narcissa should be here. She cares for you both."

"I'll talk to her as soon as it's safe," said Harry. "Or send her a patronus, but we need to hurry through this for now."

Andromeda nodded. "True. She would support Severus, too. I'm sure of it. Lucius would, too. Even Draco—Merlin knows we've seen it too much. I'm so sorry, Severus. I didn't realise, but I'll help you recover now as best as I'm able."

Severus inclined his head, heart welling. "Thank you."

"S-so will I," said Molly, eyes full of tears and complexion stark white. "Merlin, Severus, forgive me. I've seen that happen in survivors, too, and I've watched you freeze at touch in the Order for years. I should have put the facts together long before now, but I let prejudice blind me. I truly am sorry."

It was enough for him. "Thank you, Molly," Severus murmured.

Harry turned in Severus' arms and eyed her with distrust, but he relented at Severus' gentle touch on his hair. 

"Let it go. She is honest."

Harry sighed and nodded. "Thanks, love."

"It is no more than you have done for me."

Harry nestled his head against Severus’ shoulder again and held him tight.

After a moment, Bill spoke into the lull, his voice full of sorrow. "I'm relieved you're able to accept Harry's touch as well as you do, Severus. You need each other."

"I could not bear more than touching his hand or arm two months ago." Severus held Harry closer. "He is healing me."

"Harry's the only one who can really touch him at all." Ron closed his eyes and dropped his head, guilt heavy in his aura. "I terrified him when I tried to pat his shoulder the other night, right after he had told Harry what happened to him." He gave Severus a stricken look. "If I had known it was—that it was rape, I wouldn't have tried. I'm sorry, mate."

Severus squeezed the man's shoulder. "It is over now."

Dean crossed his arms over his chest and gave Severus a look full of sympathy and horror. "It doesn't sound much like it's over to me." He shuddered. "Gods. I can't even imagine it. I don't _want_ to."

Severus muttered, "I would advise you not to try."

"Y-yeah. Merlin."

Neville asked, "Sir, what happened? After you told Madam Pomfrey?"

"You may call me Severus. That privilege extends to all of you." Severus swallowed hard and clung to Harry. "Poppy is required by law to report all evidence of sexual crimes which occur on the Hogwarts grounds. And so, after she verified my testimony and—and examined me, she took me to see the headmaster." He pulled a memory from his temple and aimed for the centre of the room. "See for yourself what Albus did to me that day and tell me if you still believe him a hero when we are finished here. Harry?"

Harry guided the memory onto his own wand. " _Legilimens Appareo_!"

> _Severus sat in the headmaster's office, tears on his face and complexion mottled with grief. Pomfrey sat beside him and patted Severus' hand every so often._
> 
> _"And that is, as of yet," Pomfrey said, "all Severus has been able to reveal to me. I have already tested his confession with Veritaserum by his consent, verified his statement via a physical examination, and viewed several of the related memories, and, frankly, Albus, what those demons did to him is utterly appalling."_
> 
> _Severus gave a stifled whimper, and Pomfrey rubbed his hand._
> 
> _"I don't intend to imply that you are at all at fault, Severus, nor are you tainted or anything of the like. I am simply horrified at the sheer deviousness of the way they hurt you. It was as much psychological torture as physical and sexual, and it is, without a doubt, the most heinous string of assaults upon a Hogwarts student that I have, as of yet, ever encountered." She turned a fierce look on the headmaster. "You should have been more vigilant, Albus."_
> 
> _Dumbledore watched Severus a moment. "Hm. So it seems."_
> 
> _"Seems? There is no 'seems' about it. It is the flat truth. A student was raped and tortured for years under your watch, and you did nothing to aid him." She pushed a stack of paperwork at him. "If you will simply sign these papers here, I will turn the case in to the Ministry. I'm afraid I no longer trust you to handle it properly."_
> 
> _Dumbledore pressed his hands together. He did not so much as look at the papers._
> 
> _"Unfortunately, for the safety of all involved, I am afraid we cannot report this."_
> 
> _Poppy jerked to her feet, eyes sharp and hands clenched into fists. "What do you mean, we cannot report it? A student was_ raped _, Headmaster! Repeatedly! They, quite literally, kept Severus as a sex slave and tortured him_ while _they assaulted him, and you dare to suggest that we let those absolute_ monsters _roam free?"_
> 
> _"The blame will not fall upon them," Dumbledore said with a weary sigh. "If we keep it quiet, I am able to ward Potter and Pettigrew away from Severus, so they can do no further harm, and Remus shall not be hurt. However, if I report this, innocent lives will be lost."_
> 
> _"They have already destroyed one innocent life, Albus!"_
> 
> _Dumbledore pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know the severity of their crimes, Poppy, but you seem to forget that they are purebloods of powerful influence, and purebloods of powerful influence are never found guilty as the system stands, regardless of the facts or evidence. The Ministry will come after Mister Lupin to spare the true culprits. Especially if word gets out that he is a werewolf."_
> 
> _Poppy slammed her hand on the desk. "It bloody well should get out, Albus Dumbledore! Perhaps not that Remus is the werewolf in question, but our students and their families have the right to know just what kind of threat you are exposing the children to every month. They are walking about unaware, and many of them dare each other to get close to the willow, foolish as it is. What if another should discover the way in during the full moon? What if Black takes umbrage to another innocent and attempts to murder them, too? You are playing with fire, Albus, and that is the_ least _of your crimes at the moment."_
> 
> _"They will kill him, Poppy, for a crime he did not commit and does not even remember."_
> 
> _"Then, by the gods, take a stand for him! The world eats out of your hands. If you wanted to save him, you could."_
> 
> _"But there is more at stake here than one innocent life. Should I barter my influence on the life of one werewolf, I lose the ability to aid others."_
> 
> _Poppy reeled back, horror and rage twisting her features. "You—you_ what _? You're speaking of politics and influence_ now _? Dear gods. I don't think I ever truly knew you, Albus Dumbledore, and I am utterly ashamed to have been so blinded for so long."_
> 
> _"I am sorry, Poppy. This is the way it has to be." Dumbledore raised his wand towards the shocked healer. "_ Obliviate _! Hello, Poppy. You came here to report another incident of bullying against Severus. I have taken ca—"_
> 
> _Severus opened his mouth to protest and found he could not speak. Tears of rage and misery flowed down his face._
> 
> _"—Care of the situation."_
> 
> _Poppy stood, dazed, and rubbed her brow. "Merlin, why do I have such a headache?"_
> 
> _Severus fought the spell, but could neither speak nor move._
> 
> _"You must be working too hard, dear. Perhaps a headache remedy and a nap will help."_
> 
> _Poppy nodded. "Yes, that sounds good. Goodbye, Albus. Take care, Severus."_
> 
> _Dumbledore forced Severus' head to bob. Poppy walked out, leaving Severus without an ally all over again._

"Please stop the memory, Harry."

Severus' mate obeyed with a nod, eyes fiery with his outrage. The screen with Severus' memories vanished, and Severus lifted his head, revealing a hard glare despite the tears he couldn't help. 

"Well? Will you still insist that Albus was innocent?" 

Fleur spat curses in French, her fingernails shifting to talons and back. "Ze 'eadmaster ees just as bad as the abominations zat 'urt him. Zey all deserve ze dementors!"

Bill rubbed his wife's back with one hand and cradled his infant daughter with the other. "You're right, love, but try to calm yourself, for Victoire's sake, all right?"

"Evil. It ees utterly evil, what zey did to ze professeur."

"Yes. I completely agree."

Bill's soothing tones kept his wife from going full harpy, barely. The rest of the room stared at Severus in shock.

"I cannot believe we were deluded so long," McGonagall said in a wavering voice. "I—we all believed him a hero, but now…."

"That man was never a hero," Hermione said, tone sharp. "He was just as deep into Grindelwald's schemes as the man himself. There's no telling why Dumbledore really battled him, but I can tell you one thing for sure: altruism had nothing to do with it."

Ron jerked his head in a nod. "The wily old bastard had some dark scheme up his sleeve, trust me."

Harry stood beside his mate and took Severus' hand. "They are absolutely right. Dumbledore wasn't anything like a hero. As I said, he _drove_ Ves to the Death Eaters." 

"I still made choices I regret," Severus murmured, "and I bear the guilt for those choices, but Albus certainly limited my options."

"Bloody manipulative arsehole," Bill muttered. "Worse than even I knew, apparently."

"What?" Molly stared at her son. "You knew…?"

"Haven't I been telling you for the past three years that the old sod is full of it? He gave a mission to three sixteen-year-olds that most cursebreakers would shy away from and left them with almost no knowledge of how to complete it. I had to all but force the information out of him with legilimency, and even then the old bastard tried to lie to me repeatedly. He's a twisted piece of rubbish, Mum, just like I've tried to tell you since Ron and crew left Hogwarts."

Molly winced and lowered her head. "I really was a fool, wasn't I?"

Arthur tugged her into his arms. 

"Severus," Remus murmured into the following lull, eyes glimmering, " _me_? You kept it silent to spare me?"

Severus gave a bitter snort. "I had no choice in the matter. After the scene you just witnessed, Albus warded me so that the Marauders could never touch or curse me again, which, of course, faded after his death, and bound me to silence until Captain Goldman removed the vow the night Harry set Godric's Hollow on fire. They lost their unwilling concubine that night, but Albus' cruelty broke me nonetheless."

He wrapped his arms around his chest. "That was the moment I realised I had no quarter with the Light—not if its supposed heroes used me for a sex slave and its leader ensured I had no ability to seek justice. The need for revenge upon my assailants consumed me, and as I could not seek legal action, I turned to the only avenue that remained to me. I joined the Death Eaters immediately afterwards, hoping to seek justice of my own. Instead, I lost everything I had left."

Harry kissed Severus' shoulder. "Not everything, love. Never everything."

Severus stroked Harry's hair. "No. Never you." He held Harry's face for a moment, taking comfort from the love in his mate's eyes, the warmth of his skin. "Are you well?"

"Honestly? No, but I'm more worried about you."

Severus nodded and laid his head against Harry's. "I can do no more."

Harry held him tight. "That's okay. I'll handle the rest. You did well, love."

"Yes, well done, Severus." Luna wiped her eyes and gave him a sad smile. "I'm proud of you, too."

Severus accepted their praise with an uncertain nod. Harry rubbed Severus' back and turned to face the others.

"Ves has humiliated himself and faced his worst fears tonight to make you see the truth. Anyone who, after all this, is still intent on treating him like rubbish can walk right out that door this instant. You won't be welcome here again."

Harry and Kingsley pinned Moody with sharp looks. Moody dropped his head. 

"No, laddie. I hate to admit it when I gave so many years of my life to helping Albus, but that memory was an honest one, and that means nothing I thought I knew about him was true. 

"And Severus—well, I just—that tattoo on your arm is… the very essence of what drove me to become an auror." He lifted his head, and his one natural eye blazed. "But so is _that_." He waved to where the screen had once sat. "To force a teenage boy into silence just to avoid a loss of status—no! Those kinds of crimes are what I spent my entire life trying to _stop_. And that makes it clear you were all but forced into that decision. It's still not one I can support, but I understand why you did it now."

Harry huffed. Too little, too late, as far as he was concerned, but Severus shook his head and gave Harry a sorrowful look. 

_[We cannot afford to alienate our allies now, and this is enough for me.]_

Harry sighed and leaned against Severus' chest. "You're a better man than I am."

"Not so. You only find it easier to forgive hurts done to yourself than to those you care about, just as I do."

Harry nodded and lifted his head. "I reckon you're right about that. I'll try though, for your sake."

"Thank you." Severus faced the others. "We must take the true story to the public, or Harry and I will both be branded as traitors. Without support, however…." 

He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. "The purebloods are terrified for this story to break. Since the war revealed so many of their elite as monsters, they have built their platform on the ridiculous notion that with all the known Death Eaters captured and punished, the evil has been excised. They have reestablished their authority by assuring the public that the light-sided purebloods are just and fair, all upstanding men of honour the world can trust to dictate their every move. 

"However, when this story breaks, when it becomes clear that even some of the greatest heroes among them are no better than the worst of the Death Eaters, they will lose support, and they _know it_. They know many of their own will turn their backs on their so-called divine authority, which, by the way, Lucius and I have discovered once belonged to the high elves before humans turned on them and stole it."

Harry smiled to himself at that little nugget of information. Even now, Severus was preparing them to accept Xerides, one bit at a time.

"One person is already dead for taking a stand for me," Severus went on as if he hadn't just deconstructed the entire hierarchy of wizarding authority in a single sentence. "If Harry and I stand against them alone, we are quite likely to be the next ones sacrificed to their bigotry and obsession with power. Will you stand with us?"

"What's a night without a little risk?" Moody grinned, a frightening sight. "I'm in." Shame wiped the smile from his face. "I owe you that much, at least."

Severus accepted his alliance with a nod.

"You know we're behind you." Ron waved to Harry's friends and DA members. "Every step of the way, remember?"

"I remember." Harry squeezed his hand. "Thanks, mate."

"All in the day's work of a proper sidekick."

Harry snorted. "I seem to have a lot of sidekicks these days then."

The DA chuckled. 

"Well, with as much trouble as you tumble into on a daily basis," said Michael with a grin, "you rather _need_ a lot."

Harry's laugh held too much bitterness to be mirthful. "Damn right about that." He sighed and turned to the others. "Well? Who's with us? Just step forward if you are."

Most of the others moved towards the centre of the room, and those few who hesitated stepped forwards immediately after. Harry gave those few a suspicious look, but again, Severus eased his fury.

"They are less angry at me and more fearful for their lives and those they protect."

Harry nodded and sighed. "Right. Well, I'll do my best to keep all of you safe, but I can't guarantee it. The purebloods have it in for us now, and they have their fingers in everything. So it's a risk, yeah, but I've been trained by the best, and so have my friends. Ron and 'Mione as well as me, and Neville, Seamus, Dean, Ginny, Luna, and Michael for the past year. Ves is one hell of a fighter without any help, too, and he's been training with me lately. We're all strong, and anyone who tries to hurt us is going to find that out the hard way, but I still can't guarantee everyone will come out safely. If you stand with us, make sure you know what you're getting into."

A few of their supporters blanched and looked as though they might walk out.

"Harry," said Minerva with a sorrowful expression, "Severus risked his life for us day in and day out for the past twenty-one years, only save this last. The least we can do is stand up in his hour of need in return, especially seeing as how so many of us have failed, utterly, to do so in the past." 

Those who had balked gave Severus shamed looks and nodded.

Minerva gave Severus a sad smile heavy with remorse. "Severus, in light of this, I think your days as an instructor are over. Not because I don't value your knowledge or you as a person, but because it would be the height of cruelty to ask you to return to the place where you were so horribly abused and betrayed, especially so soon after reliving your trauma and having it twisted against you in such a terrible manner. I will simply ask Farrah to begin teaching a few months earlier than she had planned, if you do not mind offering her the use of your lesson plans for the remainder of the year?"

"Of course she may use them." Severus sank into the seat behind him, expression full of both relief and pain. "I won't deny that I have dreaded returning, but…." He met Harry's eyes, and Harry hated to see him looking so lost. "I have never done anything but teach. What will I do now?"

Harry took Severus' hands. "There are plenty of greenhouses here, all full of rare, exotic plants to tinker with, and a medical potions researcher who also happens to be your mate. You'd be happy working with me, I think." He dared not say it aloud, but in his mind, he added, _[And Xeri.]_ Telepath or no, Severus would hear it. Harry couldn't hide anything from him.

Severus' shoulders relaxed and his expression eased. "Yes. That sounds lovely."

"Then that's what we'll do." Harry kissed his mate's forehead. "I'm so relieved you don't have to go back there."

Severus nodded and stood once more. "I shall find myself in far worse lodgings if we do not take action soon."

Kingsley growled under his breath. "Not if I have anything to say about it. Severus, give me the night to question Fawley and Dawson. I'll find the source of our leak, and then we can go public with evidence of the purebloods' recent crimes against you as well as those from the past. A stronger case means less resistance."

Severus inclined his head. "Thank you, but do be careful. I do not want to hear of your murder next."

"The war taught me plenty of discretion, Severus. I'll make sure to cover my arse."

"And I'll stall the aurors," said Moody. "Best as I can, anyway. Still best to stay vigilant."

Harry steeled his posture. "Understood. We renewed the wards and powered them with every spell we could think of. It _should_ be enough to keep them out, but we'll stay on guard anyway." Xerides would see to that.

Harry glanced to the clock. "It's getting late. Go home and get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for all of us."

The others left one by one. Luna, Ron, and Hermione stayed a bit to check on Severus, but Harry sent them home, and then only Remus and Teddy remained.

Remus approached them with his head down and his eyes full of grief and horror. "Severus, I-I never meant for you to suffer so long because of me."

"It was not you. You heard Poppy. He could have stepped in the breach for you and saved you, but he cared more for preserving his authority and power." Severus shook his head. "It was never about you, whatever that arsehole said."

Remus shuddered. "I'm not so sure of that. The hatred for werewolves runs deep." He conjured a cot for his sleeping baby and rubbed his forehead. "Merlin, what an awful night. I knew _something_ was wrong, but I never imagined it was so bad."

Harry motioned to the sofa. "You two need to talk, I think. I'm just going to check the wards again."

More like check on his elven friend.

Severus squeezed Harry's hand. "Go on. We will be well enough for a few moments."

Harry nodded and walked away.


	14. Unexpected Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, we have an apartment... but everything in it is broken and the neighbors are insane. Yay, 2020. Also, my energy levels are super low, so replying is tough atm. Thank you!

#  **Chapter 14**

##  _Unexpected Visitors_

Harry knocked lightly on Xerides' door. "Xeri? Can I come in?"

The door opened, and Harry stepped inside Xerides' quarters. The elf sat cross-legged on his bed, brow furrowed and expression full of questions. Harry ran his hand through his hair and sat beside his friend.

"Well, how much of that did you hear?"

"Not much, I am afraid. There was far too much magic in the house for the receiver to work properly."

"I thought as much." Harry let his breath out in a rush. "It was… something."

"Is Severus safe?"

"Yeah. He's talking to Remus and trying to patch things up. I hope they can. Remus made mistakes, sure, but he's not a bad person. And he's the only family I've got other than you, Severus, and Ron and Hermione."

Xerides chuckled. "Those two are always a single unit in your mind, hm?"

"Always have been. Well, except early on in sixth year. _Merlin_ , those two can bicker. I swear I wanted to grab their heads and mash them together half the term."

Xerides muffled a laugh behind his hands. "I can imagine how that would have worked out."

"With me hanging from the top of the Astronomy Tower by my smalls, probably."

Xerides snorted. "Interesting imagery."

"Oi! You're not supposed to _imagine_ that!"

Xerides grinned. "Too late."

Harry chuckled and nudged his shoulder. "Yeah, yeah." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Did you hear anything at all?"

"The receiver cut out when Remus mentioned being late. I heard nothing after that."

"All right. Well, Remus was late because he tried to set the Prophet straight. So did McGonagall, but the pureblood bastards have paid them off. McGonagall and Remus got nowhere, so we're stuck with that horrific piece of rubbish until we can _force_ them to retract it, but the really scary thing is the bribe itself. They're determined to shove this under the rug, Xeri. And I have the terrible feeling that this is only the beginning of it."

Xerides slid his hand into Harry's. "Did the others accept Severus' story as truth? Are they honestly willing to support us?"

Harry nodded. "Had to show them a handful of our memories, but—"

"By Diana, tell me he didn't have to…?"

Harry grimaced. "No, thank fuck. No, we showed our memories of Dumbledore to prove his story." His chest sparked and his hands curled into fists. "And that son of a bitch deserved much worse than he got. He forced Ves into silence and virtual slavery for _politics_. He wanted to keep his influence in the Wizengamot more than he wanted to take a stand for Remus and help Ves fight the pureblood regime. Gods! I want to resurrect the bastard just so I can kill him again."

"Then it is good that we do not have that power, I think." Xerides stood and stared out the window, shoulders tense and eyes slits of silvery light in the darkened room. "Harry, may I see your memory of the meeting? I—I cannot explain it, but there is something sinister in the air, and I think it could only help to have all the information at my disposal before I attempt to scry for answers."

Chills crawled over Harry's flesh and left his stomach a ball of ice. "Sinister?"

"Yes. I can tell you nothing further yet, but I do not think we have seen the extent of the Ministry's scheming, at all." The light of his eyes blinked out, and a shudder spread down his frame. "Trust me when I say the Ministry is both ruthless and thorough in removing perceived threats to their sovereignty."

Harry swallowed a lump of foreboding. "This is going to get really, really bad, isn't it?"

"Fates, I hope not." Xerides' eyes glowed again and fixed on Harry. "But that is my fear."

Harry motioned him over. "Then hurry and look at my memories so you can help us work out a plan."

Xerides nodded and settled beside his friend. " _Legilimens_."

* * *

Severus poured Remus and himself drinks, though he vowed he would have no more than one. Remus knocked his first brandy back in one go, but held the second glass in his lap, hands shaking and white. The werewolf hunched over, and the tremulous sigh he pushed out rippled the liquid in his glass.

"I can't believe this." Remus' voice trembled, too. "Well, no, I believe it, but _gods_. I knew they weren't—well, not quite the idealized heroes of light everyone makes them out to be—"

"Not everyone," Severus muttered.

Remus snorted. "No. You know, when even Harry turned on them and told me they weren't what I thought, I really should have listened. Well, I thought I had done, but I never imagined it was _this_ bad."

"To be fair, neither did Harry."

"He had more of the right idea than I did. Some part of me wanted to believe there was some mistake, some misunderstanding." He looked up, and the anguished guilt in his eyes twisted something in Severus' chest. "But I always knew there was time missing from my memories." He closed his eyes, sending tracks of tears down his face. "A-and it wasn't only of the time you just showed me."

Severus' breath stilled. "Remus?"

"There are… pieces missing. Times I don't know how I got from class to the end of the day. Times I remembered eating lunch, then suddenly it was bedtime, and I had no idea how I got there. I thought it was the curse for a while, or maybe stress, but…."

Severus clutched his glass tighter. "But?"

"The times I have no memory of—they almost all coincide with times I would have crossed paths with you. Shared classes, labs, quidditch, things like that."

"Damn. You think they _Obliviated_ you repeatedly to keep their secrets?"

"I think they must have. I was suspicious, Severus. You were so unhappy, and you hated us all—with a damn good reason—so why would you suddenly agree to date James? And why didn't he want Lily to know about it? It was all so strange. I think I couldn't have let it slide. I _hope_ I didn't, but I don't remember." Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose. "There's also the fact that most of the memory blanks stop after halfway through seventh year."

"After the attacks stopped."

"Yes."

Severus took a sip of his drink and set it aside. That was enough. It would be too tempting to fall into old habits tonight, and instinct warned him that he would need his wits about him later. The implications of that left a chill in his chest.

"What did Potter tell you afterwards? I assume he must have said he broke it off?"

"In so many words," said Remus with a scowl, and Severus surmised that he probably didn't want to know.

Remus sighed and put his glass aside, too. "Severus, for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"No. From all you have told me, you tried to save me repeatedly, but had no defense against their schemes just as I did not." Severus gave a bitter snort. "I think you may have been my only true ally in those dark days, but neither of us knew it."

Remus hesitated. "I—I'm still your ally. I'll fight for you, Severus. I'll testify and give all my evidence—"

Severus held up a quelling hand. "Not yet. Not until we can keep you safe, for your son's sake."

Remus looked to his son, sleeping in a conjured cot at his side. The little boy whined in his sleep and kicked his foot, reminiscent of a dreaming dog, and Remus swallowed hard. 

"I-I suppose you have a point, but I don't like it."

"You have fought harder than anyone but my mate for my safety, Remus. I do not hold a grudge. No longer."

Remus gave him a hesitant smile. "I… I'm glad to hear that. I'd like to, um, work together from now on. And, well, you're my cub's mate, so…." He grimaced and ruffled his hair. "Well, what I mean to say…."

"Gryffindors," Severus said with a snort. "Yes, we may begin anew and work towards a friendly relationship. I think Harry would be happy if—"

Fawkes burst into being above the mantle and gave a sharp squall. A warning? Now?

Severus jerked up, wand already out before he gained his footing. "What the hell?"

Remus took a defensive stance in front of his son. "Severus? What's going on?"

Severus let his aura bleed into the house's protections and winced at a sensation like a jackhammer beating against his core. "Damn! It's the wards. Someone is trying to break in."

Remus held his gaze, and Severus' gut clenched at the dreadful knowledge of fate within his eyes. The sudden fear of a hunted man. Severus understood too well.

Gods help them both.

* * *

The trill of an agitated phoenix made Xerides nearly jump out of his skin.

"What in Diana's name?"

Harry leapt to his feet and hissed. "The bastards! Goddamn it, we should have known." He drew his wand and waved Xerides back "Go. Hide yourself." 

Xerides drew his bow to him on the wind and strapped it on. "The wards?"

Harry summoned his invisibility cloak and shoved it at the elf. "Yeah. Someone's having a go at them anyway. We all know who that will be."

"Yes. I can help, Harry. I—" 

At Harry's sharp look, Xerides silenced his pleas. Much as he wanted to stay by his companions' side, it would be suicide.

And he could always guard them from the shadows.

"Very well."

Harry snorted. "Uh-huh. Be careful out there, okay? Don't be seen."

By the moon, Harry knew him too well. Xerides didn't bother trying to deny his plans.

"I will take every precaution. Go to your mate."

Harry waved and dashed off.

Xerides took a steadying breath and focused his mental shields. Shadows clawed at his resolve, dark shadows of cruel fate looming ever closer, but he forced them back with grim determination. If he gave in to his panic, he would only usher in whatever trouble had his instincts on edge. The Ministry had some dark ploy up its sleeve, yes, but if he acted quickly, perhaps he could stop the approaching shadows before they became reality. Either way, he wouldn't leave his family to face their fate alone.

He gathered his daggers and centred his mind in the calm of the forest. No. He wouldn't let the Ministry hurt his family this time.

_'Never again.'_

He hid the glow of his eyes with Harry's cloak and swept it around his frame. It was a bit short for him, but all night elves learned young how to avoid notice with or without magical aid. Thus hidden, he raced out of the house and into the night.

* * *

Harry bolted into the living room, wand held in a white-knuckled grip. Severus stood tense with alarm, and, beside him, Remus cuddled Teddy to his chest and scanned the shadows for threats.

Remus whispered, "They're after us, aren't they?" 

"I think it more likely they are after _me_ ," Severus said, voice flat with the strength of his occlumency. "They want me silenced, and shifting the blame to you would be a tacit admission of guilt."

Remus did not relax. "I… right." He placed Teddy back in the cot and shielded him. "Right. Now that he's safe, what do we do?"

Harry pushed him towards his son. " _You_ get out of this. If they find you here, you'll give them an excuse to hunt you down. Take Teddy and go."

"But I want to help."

"I know, Remy, I know, but Teddy needs his dad. Go, get him out of this and keep him safe. Please. I can't lose more family."

Remus shuddered. "Can you protect Severus? And yourself?"

Harry nodded fiercely. "We have… help hiding in the woods. We'll be fine."

"Help?"

"No time, Remus," Severus urged. "Go, before they are upon us. I can feel the wards breaking."

Remus scooped up his son. "All right, but promise me you'll be okay."

Harry took Severus' hand. "I'll protect us all, I promise. Now, _go_."

Remus wished them luck and vanished into the floo.

"Right." Harry guided Severus towards the stairs. "Stay here, love. Get into your wards and stay out of sight."

Severus snapped, "I am perfectly capable of defending myself, Harry."

Harry gave him a solemn nod. "I know, Severus, but you shouldn't have to."

Some of the anger left the man's eyes. "I… oh."

"It's best for everyone involved that they don't see you here."

Severus winced. "You have a point, but…."

"Xerides trained me well, love. If I can stand up to him, I can stand up to a bunch of Ministry clods who _think_ they know how to fight."

Severus swallowed a surge of dread and cradled Harry's face. "Be careful."

Harry kissed Severus' cheek. "I promise. I'll be right back. Hippa?" 

The elf popped in, already wearing armour and holding a tiny sword. "Hippa is protecting Master Severus, Master's mate."

"Good. Thank you. Fawkes, if it all goes to hell, get them and Xeri _out_."

Fawkes replied with a trill and fluttered down to Severus' shoulder.

Harry stroked Severus' hair. "It's going to be okay. Just stay hidden."

Severus nodded hesitantly and stepped into the shadows. Harry took a second to appreciate his ability to disappear without a spell and summoned his duelling gear. By the time he reached the wardline, he had spelled all his armour on and looked every inch the lethal warrior Xerides had trained him to be.

A little reminder of who had defeated the evil wizard these fools couldn't hope to match could only help. They would regret invading the sanctuary Harry had built for his family before the night ended. He would see to that.

* * *

Xerides crept onto the lawn, silent and swift, and ran to the woods with the grace of one born to them. Which way now? He paused to let the auras nearby bleed into his own magic. It took quite a bit of power, but he had plenty to spare so late at night. 

Ah. The back of the house, which meant the threat had no intention of approaching this situation with honour, fates take them. 

He raced through the woods towards the source of the threat. The trees welcomed him, and the night elf took refuge in the boughs of an oak tree overlooking the back of the property. Safe. He swept off the cloak and tucked it away—the oak leaves would hide him well enough, and Xerides couldn't access his arrows in such a flowing garment. With that done, he clutched his bow and cautiously moved along the branch until he could see through the leaves.

Fifteen humans in crimson robes stood at the wardline, and the wards quivered and wobbled under their spells. How in Zeus' name had they managed to weaken a blood ward? The thought that those traitor Unspeakables must have given them the means sent another surge of ice down Xerides' spine and turned his blood frigid.

If the Unspeakables were involved, the Ministry's vendetta against them went even deeper than any of them knew. By the moon, he hoped Harry's auror friend knew how to guard against their schemes.

For the moment, he could do nothing but protect his family. He would warn them of the danger once Severus and Harry were safe, and they could warn Kingsley, but first, they had to drive the dangers back from their own door.

He strung an arrow to his bow and aimed for the auror with gold edging his cloak. The leader. If he took him down, the others would soon follow. He steadied his aim, adjusted for the wind, and waited.

If Harry couldn't stop them, by Artemis, Xerides _would_.

Still, just in case…. 

"Dobby?"

The síoda appeared without a sound and scowled at their uninvited guests. He had donned armour and carried a club almost as long as himself. 

"Yes, Master Xerides?"

"Please keep watch over Harry, Severus, and their guests."

"Master Remus and his cub are going home now, Master."

"Good. Then just watch over Harry and Severus."

"Dobby is protecting you, too." The síoda bowed and vanished.

" _Tèthána, va tèloí_ ," Xerides whispered and returned his focus to the battle brewing on the edge of the wards.

* * *

As Harry had expected, a group of disgruntled aurors stood outside his wards, casting spell after spell in attempt to break them down. How the fuck had they found him? Certainly not by legal means.

He stepped out of the wards behind their line of sight, wand drawn, and cleared his throat. The aurors jumped out of their skin like the useless cowards they were and whirled around.

"Can I help you, gentlemen?"

The biggest of the lot, a burly, dark-haired brute Harry was certain he had seen somewhere before, stepped forward and flipped his cloak over his shoulder, revealing its golden trim. A captain, hm? Arrogant sod. Goldman had deserved his position. One look at this fool, and Harry knew he couldn't hope to measure up.

"Harry Potter, Ministry of Magic, DMLE. "We—"

Harry cut him off. "That's Lord Potter to you lot."

"Er… what? But you aren't—"

"I am, actually, as of last month."

"Oh. Well, Lord Potter then. We're here to arrest Severus Snape."

"Lord Prince, actually."

The auror gaped. "But… that isn't possible!"

"He's Severin Prince's legitimate grandson. He secured his lordship about three days ago."

The auror growled. "I—well, I—oh, hell. Whatever his name is, we're here to arrest him."

"Really? On what charges?"

The 'auror' faltered. Clearly, he hadn't expected to be challenged. "Er… rape and sexual assault on pureblood lords, falsifying evidence, aggravated assault on an auror, slandering aurors, mind control spells, and falsely accusing the lords and heirs of pureblood lines of heinous crimes."

Harry tapped his wand on his chin as if considering his list of charges. He didn't miss the fidgeting and wary looks his actions caused. "Rape. You know full well Severus was the _victim_ and we have ample evidence to prove it. You have no basis of anything remotely like facts to charge him with such crimes. If you so much as _dare_ suggest it, I will see the lot of you burned for crimes against humanity."

The captain flinched and covered his moment of weakness with bluster. "Oi, that's murder! You can't do that!"

"Sunguard, remember? I have a built-in evil detector. One touch, and I know who deserves to burn. That would be why sunguard kills are _always_ legal." Harry gave them a dark smile. "I have no problems touching Severus without hurting him. I wonder how many of _you_ would pass the test."

The aurors gulped and stepped back.

Harry offered his hand to the captain. "Go on then. It's just a handshake. Unless, of course, you've committed some terrible crime. Then, well, you might end up down a limb, but I'm sure no auror or pureblood could _possibly_ be so evil. Right, _Captain_?"

"Uh…." The captain rubbed his forehead and stepped back. "Er… it's against Ministry policy to touch a—an eyewitness during an arrest."

"So if I search the Ministry archives, I'll find that law on file, will I?"

The auror's eyelid twitched. "O-of course."

"I'll be sure to check the date when I look it up. In the meantime, let's just discuss the rest of your supposed charges, shall we?"

"There's nothing to discuss. Surrender the suspect."

"Or what? You'll haul me off to Azkaban?" Harry grinned viciously and held out his arms. "Go ahead and try it."

"T-that won't be necessary. Just bring him out."

"Not without a proper warrant and justification for it." Harry paced before the aurors and suppressed a laugh at their obvious discomfiture. "So, to get back to your supposed _charges_ —threatening pureblood lines, hm? I wonder what I would find if I researched the basis of such a crime. I wonder if I would find any support that said charge even exists as a valid criminal offense, or if it would become clear that only jumped up pureblood bigots think it's so terrible to accuse one of their own."

A muscle in the arsehole's face twitched. "Hand Snape over, Potter."

 _"Lord_ Potter. And, again, not until you produce a verifiable warrant for arrest and prove you have justified reason to attack the victim of a crime. Other than to cover your chums' arses, of course."

One of the captain's underlings piped up, "He's no victim! He made up those charges and placed you under the _Imperius_ curse to make you support his lies!"

Harry snorted. "I take it that studying the traits of being races isn't an approved part of Ministry-funded auror training?"

The burly arse blinked in confusion. "Er… what?"

"Sunguards are immune to mind control, idiot. Severus couldn't _Imperius_ me if he tried, and he didn't try. So that charge is clearly false. The warrant, if you please?"

Harry held out a hand and smirked when the arse jerked away. "Nervous, Captain?"

The auror huffed. "I don't need to prove anything to you. Where is Snape?"

Harry trailed his wand along his jaw. "You know, that's an excellent question. Where _is_ Severus?"

"We know he's here, you little brat. Stop obstructing justice and hand him over."

Harry fixed the supposed auror with a cold glare. "How?"

The auror snarled. "Just bring him out! It's not complicated."

"You misunderstand me. How, precisely, do you know he's here? And while we're at it, how do you know where 'here' is at all when this place is guarded under a _Fidelius_ and several layers of powerful wards designed specifically to keep power-hungry arseholes like you from finding it?"

The arse snarled, "You can't ward out the Ministry, Potter! We have spells to know where you are regardless."

"You mean like blood trackers and locator spells? Spells you might have easily placed on Severus while he was detained after the war, or upon me using the blood I lost and gave in battle? Funny, I thought those spells were illegal, even for the Ministry."

The auror took a step back and looked from side to side, then snarled and pointed his wand at Harry. "The Ministry has a right to track suspects of a crime."

"And what crime are you accusing _me_ of, then?"

"Er… harbouring a known criminal and obstruction of justice!"

"And where's your warrant for that?"

The auror faltered. "Er… what?"

Harry scoffed. "Your warrant. Against me. Because even if the DMLE _did_ have the right to use illegal trackers on suspected criminals, you would need to have charges drawn up prior to placing said spells, and in that case, I fail to understand why you wouldn't have arrested me at the first sighting rather than going to the trouble of placing trackers on me just to find me again."

The auror snapped, "Enough, Potter! Stop playing games! March your sweet little arse back into your wards and bring Snape out this instant, or I'll take you in on aiding and abetting, too!"

Harry froze. Where had he heard that recently?

_"Look at that sweet little arse work."_

Oh. Oh, bloody hell.

An inferno surged to life in Harry's stomach and spread into his limbs. His vision shaded gold, and fire surged to life all around him. The aurors took a step back, eyes wary and uncertain.

"Now I know where I've seen you before." His voice came out low and lethal. "You were one of the arseholes who paid to rape Severus the first time."

The 'auror' paled and turned as if he would apparate away, but Harry was too quick for him. He froze him in a non-verbal _Petrificus Totalis_ , conjured ropes around his limbs, and threw him at his feet with no mercy.

With the ringleader subdued, Harry jerked his wand at the remaining aurors. "I suggest the lot of you take your false charges and get the _fuck_ off my property before I kill you all, with legal justification. Oh, and do expect to be sued and charged for placing illegal trackers on innocent civilians and using them to bully victims, falsify charges, and attempt to forcibly arrest innocent people for crimes you made up. Get the fuck out of my sight." 

A surge of simultaneous pops hurt Harry's ears, but he ignored the pain. "Dobby."

The house elf appeared and scowled at the trussed-up auror. "Evil, naughty liars, trying to arrest my good, innocent masters."

Harry nodded grimly. "Did you hear that, Dobby?"

"Yes, Master Harry. Master's… friend asked me to watch over my other masters and keep you safe."

"Thank you. Will you please go to our auror friend and tell him I've discovered one of Severus' attempted rapists and an accomplice to the rape of a minor in auror captain's robes on my back lawn? Also, please ask him to find and disable the illegal trackers the Ministry placed upon Severus and myself and make sure none of our other allies are tagged? His… other work can wait until after we're safe."

"Right away, Master Harry!"

Dobby popped away. Harry stepped on his prisoner's chest and gave him a smile as cold as death.

"You snakes have a bad habit of wriggling out of your punishment. Always some excuse to make yourselves look like the victim and the real victims look like madmen." He grabbed the man's collar and snarled in his face. "But sunguards can't be bribed, now can they?"

The man whimpered and tried to roll away. Harry grabbed his face just long enough to smell the skin under his hand burn.

"Let's see you wriggle out of punishment _this_ time." 

He threw the bastard back and watched him writhe. This one, at least, would pay for his crimes.

About fucking time.


	15. Fallen from Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Character death warning. They are supporting characters in this story, so I would classify it as minor, but others have said it's more of a major character death. So, sorry in advance. The angsthammer is in full swing. Painting at the end of the chapter.

#  **Chapter 15**

##  _Fallen from Grace_

Xerides hid in the trees and watched Harry dispatch the aurors. Merlin. Why had he attacked the auror cap—oh. He watched the man's face burn under Harry's touch and growled. He had known this lot aligned themselves with the corrupt from the start, but seeing the proof left him seething. 

Memories of a time long since lost flashed before his eyes—long white hair and a sunny grin, tiny forms just learning to smile, and blood. A sea of blood and tears, Torasi's screams against a crimson dawn, and hope lost in the aftermath as the last of their family succumbed.

Torasi had never been the same. Neither had Xerides. Bastards like this lot had stolen everything— _everything_ —from them, and damned if Xerides would let them destroy his family all over again. No. He would not stand by and watch Severus and Harry suffer for the Ministry's cruelty like Deia, like Melana, like Azara and Alana.

Like Torasi and Xerides themselves.

No. Too much blood had spilled already for the Ministry's evil. 

_'Never again.'_

He watched a tall, burly auror with blond hair speak to Harry, and waited until the man left with the disgraced captain to leap from the trees. This could not be allowed to stand.

"Harry?"

Harry motioned Xerides to his side. "You saw?"

Xerides inclined his head. "His crime?"

"He was one of the bastards who paid to rape Severus when he was sixteen."

"Dear _gods_." Xerides shuddered and hugged Harry's shoulders. "When I saw his face burn—" He paused as Severus materialised out of the shadows. "Ah. Are you well, Severus?"

"I remember him." 

Harry folded his wing around his mate and took Severus' hand. "He won't escape justice this time, love. I made damn sure of that."

"Unless he says you simply burned his face with fire."

Harry snarled. "Let the bastard try it."

"You can't burn them all, pet."

"I can damn well try."

Severus gave a shaky laugh and buried his face in Harry's shoulder. "Merlin, I am so afraid."

Harry folded him into his arms and wings. "Shh. You're not alone, love. We have the entire Order to protect you now. It'll be okay."

"I… have the dreadful feeling that it won't." 

Harry froze. "Instinct?"

"I… do not know. I am upset, understandably so, so it is difficult to tell what streams from intuition and what is simply trauma."

Harry smoothed Severus' hair. "Maybe I can help with the trauma part." He kissed Severus' cheek and met Xerides' eyes over his mate's shoulder. "Xeri, are your instincts going mad, too?"

"Yes, but, like Severus, it is difficult to discern what springs from the future and what comes of remnants of past trauma."

Severus shuddered. "I had just begun to recover."

Harry kissed his cheek and held him tight. "I'm here, love."

"As am I." Xerides lifted his hand towards Severus but drew it back. Severus wouldn't want his touch, especially now. He let his hand fall and looked away. "If you have need of me, I am here as well." A wash of grief flooded his chest. _'As long as they allow me to be.'_

Harry reached for Xerides' hand, and the night elf let his touch soothe his broken heart. Gentle fingers stroked his palm and reminded him he wasn't alone.

"Xeri, what were you saying about that prick?"

"Which one?"

Harry snorted. "The one who got his arse handed to him. You mentioned it reminded you of something when you saw me burn him?"

"Ah. Right." Xerides tracked a wisp of cloud across the moon. "It reminded me of what the Ministry has stolen from me."

Severus turned to face the night elf, concern heavy in his eyes. "Xerides?"

Xerides turned away and crossed his arms over his waist, comfort against the lingering ache of loved ones lost. Torasi had lost everything, damn near down to his own life, but his cousin's pain had left holes in Xerides' heart, too. 

"It is not something I feel comfortable revealing without Torasi present, but…."

Soft feathers folded around the night elf's shoulders. Harry. The touch comforted the worst of Xerides' pain.

"Xerides?

The elf's voice wobbled a little. "They took my—my sister…." Xerides whispered in Greek, _"Both of them."_

"Oh Christ, Xeri! The aurors killed…?"

"Not quite. She died of an elven illness, but as the illness is caused by sudden heartbreak and severe trauma, they were responsible for her death regardless."

"Xeri…." Severus gave him a stricken look. "You lost more than your sister to their cruelty then. Much more."

Xerides closed his eyes against a knife-sharp lance of pain. "Yes," he whispered. 

Harry folded one wing around Xerides and left the other wrapped around his mate. "Hey, come here. I'll take care of you both."

Xerides gave him a wan smile. "My hurts are centuries old, Harry. Severus' are much more recent, and we have greater concerns." He pushed his grief aside and focused his mind. "The wards—they nearly fell, but I had thought them impenetrable. This suggests the aurors have the Unspeakables in their pocket, which implies that this threat goes far deeper than I had originally supposed. Harry, you must warn your auror friends."

"Dear _Merlin_." Harry drew his wand, but hesitated. "Ves, what should we do? We can't just send him a patronus if the Unspeakables are onto him."

"Not one in plain English, no, but Order code might suffice." Severus summoned his doe. "Please go to Kingsley and Alastor. Tell them 'the scarecrows are in the fields.' Go."

The doe vanished.

Xerides watched her bound away. "Scarecrows?" 

Severus gave him a slight nod. "Because they use intimidation against those who only seek to fill their bellies, all to protect those with greater privilege."

"Clever." Xerides opened his mouth to speak further, but a wave of trepidation nearly knocked him to his knees. "Harry, Severus, we need to patch the wards. Now."

Severus met his eyes. "You sense the threat, too."

Xerides winced. "If you feel it too, oh we must hurry."

Harry called, "Winky!"

The síoda appeared with a worried look. "Master Harry, is you we—"

"No time, Winky. I need you to guard the house like we did for Forest House. Until we can restore and strengthen the wards, don't let anything or anyone who isn't in the Order through. Though that auror who just came is all right."

Severus frowned. "I couldn't see. Who…?"

"Parker."

"Ah. Yes, he is trustworthy, I think, but no one else outside our confidence is to be trusted, Winky."

"Yes, Masters," said Winky, her expression fierce. "Winky and Kreacher is protecting the house."

"Thank you." Harry patted her shoulder. "Go on, Winky. If there's about to be trouble, everyone vulnerable needs to clear out." 

"Yes, Master Harry. Winky is going now."

She bowed and popped away, and Harry flicked his eyes between Severus and Xerides, his expression stern.

"I said _all_ of the vulnerable people."

Xerides knew he had the right of it, but something felt… off. "I… do not know…."

Severus nodded, brow furrowed and hand pressed to his lips. "The threat—I don't think it is for _us_. Not at this time."

Harry frowned. "Not us? But who else could it be?"

Xerides went rigid. At the same time, Severus' hand dropped and his colour drained.

"By the moon," Xerides breathed. " _Remus_!"

"Shite!" Harry grabbed Severus' hand, and they vanished without another word. 

"Dobby?" 

The síoda appeared at Xerides' side. "Yes, Friend Xerides? Where is Masters go—"

"There is no time, my friend." Xerides tossed the cloak over his head. "Please take me to Harry's side, but make sure we are neither seen nor heard." 

Dobby held out his hand. "Dobby is popping silently."

" _Tèthána, va tèlói_." 

Xerides took his hand, and Dobby carried him away.

* * *

Harry bolted into the flat he had just visited the night before and gasped. Everything of note was gone. Teddy's toys, the pictures on the fridge—everything, save a scrap of parchment spellotaped to the kitchen table.

> _"Harry,_
> 
> _Knew as soon as we landed they would be after us next. I love you. Will contact you when we're somewhere—"_

The ink dragged off the page in a jagged line, Remus' last word left echoing like a gunshot in the silence.

"Oh god. They're gone."

Xerides popped his head out of the cloak. "Dobby is here if…."

Harry whipped around with a gasp. "Xeri! What the hell are you doing here? Hide!"

The elf covered his head again. "Hurry. We have little time."

The síoda held out his hand. "Dobby will be taking masters to—"

"Yes, quickly." Severus grabbed Harry's hand, then Dobby's, and they vanished in a swirl of pressure and energy.

Harry opened his eyes to a firefight. Remus stood in the middle of a suburban neighbourhood, backed against a corner and fighting with all he had. Teddy wailed in his travel seat behind Remus, small face glowing a myriad of hues, every line etched in the light of the crossfire. 

Harry's heart dropped into his feet. "Dobby, get Teddy _out_! Take him to the house!"

Dobby vanished, and Teddy followed an instant later. 

"Teddy!" Remus' cry broke Harry's heart.

Harry felt Xerides race away to the cover of a nearby tree and shouted, "Oi! You! What the hell do you think you're _doing_?"

The aurors jumped and turned to challenge Harry, but too late. A neon-green bolt of death cut the night, and Harry had just enough time to see it illuminate the horrified expression on Remus' face before it struck. Remus' breath stopped, like the silence after the thunder crash, and he fell, lifeless, to the ground. 

" _No_! Remus!"

Harry's scream reverberated in the night, an anguished plea for reality to alter. _'Not again! We were supposed to be safe!'_ But Remus didn't move, his chest did not rise, and Harry knew the safety he had bought with his sacrifice, the peace Severus had damn near died for—it had been nothing more than an illusion. A beautiful dream cut short by the vicious truth of the brutal world they lived in.

"Remus, no." Harry ran to his godfather, aurors be damned, and dropped to his knees beside him. His hands trembled as they touched his too-still chest and traced his unmoving face. No. _No!_ It couldn't be real! He refused to believe, refused to give in.

" _Diffindo_!" He tore his wrists open and poured the blood into Remus' mouth, massaged his throat to force him to swallow, but nothing happened. "Please. You can't be dead."

Severus stood by him, hands shaking on Harry's shoulders. "Oh Merlin, no."

A curse light flew over their heads.

"Back away from the beast, Potter!"

Harry hardly heard them in the ringing wake of his shock. "Remus, come on. Come on!"

Severus guided Harry back and into a shield of purple light. "Harry, it's t-too late. _Sano_!" Harry's wrist healed. "He is—he's gone." The break in Severus' voice set Harry quaking inside.

 _'Beast.'_ Remus had never been a beast.

 _'I don't want anyone else to die for this.'_ Dead. Remus was dead, and for _nothing_. The purebloods' obsession with power had stolen the last of Harry's family from him.

 _'My sister….'_ Xerides' family, too.

And Severus…. 

Severus had suffered more than any of them.

Rage like Harry had never known consumed him. An inferno blazed to life in his soul, sparked on his skin. 

_'No more. It ends here.'_

"Traitors." The quiet word sounded like a whipcrack in the night. He followed it with a scream. " _Traitors_!"

A heavy, blondish auror in the front shouted, "Back away, Potter! You're protecting a dangerous criminal."

Harry gave a pain-crazed laugh. "Dangerous? You already murdered him, you lying bastard!"

"Harry." Severus tugged his hand. "Harry, we are outnumbered."

The auror called back, "Murder? He was attempting to flee the country! We just—"

"Killed an innocent man to spare yourselves the guilt of your own crimes! _Murderers_!"

Fire burst from Harry in a fantastic display and set the entire lawn ablaze. The nearby muggles screamed and dashed for cover. For their sake, Harry pulled it back to a smaller radius. 

"Fucking lying, murdering bastards!" He spread his wings and shot forwards, landing several meters in front of his stunned, frightened partner. "You're scum! Utter fucking _scum_! I will kill every last one of you for his blood, the blood on your filthy fucking hands!"

Severus raced to Harry's side, running through the flames to save him. "Harry, stop! They will come after _us_!"

"They're murderers! They killed an innocent man—"

"We exterminated a werewolf! A dark beast who had proved a danger to—"

Harry shot a curse at the auror who dared challenge him, but he ducked it just in time.

"You're attacking aurors," another called. "You're as dangerous as the beast was."

"I'm a fucking sunguard, you arsehole! It is biologically impossible for me to be evil or hurt someone who doesn't have it coming, but you can bet your arse I'm dangerous to those who do! _Confringo_!"

The auror rolled out of the way and smacked his flaming sleeve. 

"See here, mister Potter. We were just doing our jobs. Now, hand over the beast's spawn, and _maybe_ we won't throw you in Azkaban."

" _Bombarda_!"

The bastard barely dodged an exploding tree.

"Backup, Avery," one auror cried. "We need backup!"

"We can't call for backup, you idiot! We—"

"You didn't have clearance to attack Lupin, did you?" Severus' voice was cold enough to freeze even Harry's flames. "You acted without justification to attack an innocent man and his infant son, all because you cannot cope with the fact that so many of your lot have proved to be arrogant, power-hungry, vicious, blood-thirsty criminals."

Another wave of fire missed the aurors by millimeters.

"We took preemptive action to see justice served," Avery shouted back. "Hand over the spawn!"

"Over my dead body," Harry snarled. 

"That can be arranged! Too bloody arrogant by half. Sunguard, paugh! We'll see about that. _Avada Kedavra_!" 

Harry shoved Severus behind him and charged his entire form with power. The curse hit Harry's chest, ricocheted, and struck its caster dead. Beyond a headache and what would likely be another curse scar, Harry felt nothing.

"Immune to death, you fuckers, and I _know_ you had no orders to attack me!"

Severus gasped and choked out, "Oh my god! Harry!"

Harry folded him in his wings as best as he could and murmured, "I'm okay, Ves. It's all right." He raised his voice and raged at the aurors, "You just fucking tried to kill an innocent sunguard! You're going down hard! Every last fucking one of you!"

"You attacked us for doing our jobs," said a nervous looking auror near Avery's corpse. "We were within our rights—"

Xerides' mental voice filled Harry's ears and drowned out the piece of shite's whinging. _[Retribuo Dolor! Hit one of them—or as many as you can—with Retribuo Dolor.]_

Harry whipped his wand at the whinging auror so fast, the idiot hadn't time to blink. " _Retribuo Dolor_!" As loud as he screamed it, no one could doubt what he cast. 

The 'auror' dropped to the ground in agony. Harry didn't know what was torturing the bastard, but he hoped it really fucking hurt. 

A doe patronus raced out from behind him, and Harry used the distraction her appearance caused to curse the rest of the bastards. " _Retribuo Dolor_! _Retribuo Dolor_!" 

Beside him, Severus took up arms and defended them both from those foolish enough to attack. By the time Harry stopped screaming the curse, only one had escaped his wrath, and that one by hiding behind an innocent bystander.

 _[I am going after the last remaining demon. You simply repeat what I tell you until I take him down.]_ Xerides' mental voice poured the words Harry needed to say into his ears, and Harry fired them back upon his lawful prey. 

"The curse that just hit all of you besides this piece of shite hiding behind an innocent mum? It means 'return pain,' or 'retribution for pain.' It gives back all the pain you caused to others.

"The kicker here? It only works if you've committed a heinous crime! Murder, rape, torture—none of you fuckers are innocent! You're sadistic pricks who just murdered an innocent single dad all because you didn't want it to come out that Peter Pettigrew and James Potter were goddamned rapists, Sirius Black tortured their victim _while they were raping him_ , and Albus Dumbledore let them fucking get away with it!"

Harry grabbed one of the struggling aurors by the throat. His skin sizzled under Harry's hand. "See? Guilty as fuck." He threw the screaming auror and blasted one trying to escape with a stunner. "You're blood-purist scum, Death Eaters in auror robes, and you're all going to fucking pay for murdering the only goddamn decent family member I ever fucking had!"

The last auror dropped, dead, with one of Xerides' arrows sticking out of his skull. The mum screamed and ran back to her kids, and Harry vanished the arrow before his friend could be blamed.

"Good fucking riddance!" Harry kicked the nearest scumbag in the bollocks. "Serves you right, you m-murdering bast—" His voice broke, and he staggered into his partner's shaking form. "Murderers."

"Harry, come away," Severus pleaded. "They could—any moment." 

Harry had no strength left to resist. He let Severus lead him to Remus' body and choked back a sob. Remus had always seemed so strong, so dependable. And now, he was gone. Dead, for nothing but pureblood lies and bigotry.

"Remus…." The name broke from him in a cry of misery. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to be _safe_ , goddamn it!"

Severus whispered an apology, and Harry's strength broke. 

"Oh, god, Remus, I'm so damn sorry." 

A chorus of pops announced Kingsley's arrival. He landed on the scene with ten aurors in tow and Parker in gold-edged robes. 

"Mother of Merlin," Kingsley breathed. "What _happened_ here?"

"Remus," Harry sobbed. "They murdered Remus."

" _What_?" Kingsley raced to Harry's side, face twisted into a grimace of grief. "Oh god. I should have protected him. I should have—"

Severus laid his hand on Kingsley's shoulder. "It is not your fault. Are you able to deal with this tonight? I know you have other cases, but I did not know who to trust, and with fire all around me and supposed aurors shooting killing curses at Harry and Remus, I was too distraught to think much beyond getting help here fast."

Kingsley gasped. "They tried to kill _Harry_?"

Severus pointed out Avery's corpse. "You would think the Death Eaters would learn not to use that curse against him eventually."

Kingsley snorted, but the sound held no mirth. "Sweet Circe. I…." He looked to Remus' body and shuddered. "I'll take care of it. Just don't leave. We'll have to question everyone on the scen—wait. Where's Teddy? Please tell me he's not…?"

"He's safe," said a desolate Harry, voice thick with tears. "Dobby got him out seconds before Remus went down. Remus d-died defending him. Oh, fuck!" He covered his face and choked out, "Remus…." 

With a heart-rending cry, he caught the werewolf's body into his arms and wept bitterly.

"Oh, Remus. I'm so goddamned sorry." 

"Merlin forgive me," said a broken Severus. "So am I."

He knelt beside Harry and buried his face in his shoulder. His tears on Harry's burning skin left trails of ice in their wake.

* * *

[Reflected](https://www.flickr.com/photos/141843489@N07/49404911796/in/datetaken/): Harry uses himself as a human shield for Severus.


End file.
